Dear girl...I know your pain, and I'm praying for your miracle, too. The answers to your many questions about what will you do when is simply this, you will manage, you may stumble, you may fall, but you will pick yourself up with the help of the people who love you and you will carry on, as your mother would want you to. You can show me your Cape May diamonds, since I've never seen one...I also do great Christmas trees, and Tara-Love, know that you ARE loved and we are all here for you, no matter what happens.