thejunipertree (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thejunipertree) wrote2004-01-09 03:56 pm
thejunipertree) wrote2004-01-09 03:56 pm
Entry tags:
response to my resume
Hey, I received a response to my resume this afternoon. A response which was sent through the actual meat space mail, rather then email.
It goes as follows:
Dear Ms. Maguire:
Our Executive Management Team has carefully considered your resume. Your qualifications are impressive; however, your credentials do not meet the needs of the Department at this time.
Thank you for you time and interest in pursuing employing with *name removed but it's that halfway house for drug addicts that I applied at to be an HR assistant*.
Sincerely,
Muckity Muck
My response that I would love to send in
Dear Assface:
My Executive Management Team has carefully considered your letter in response to my resume. Your mewling proclaimations are impressive; however you are still cordially invited to dine on my ass. I didn't want to work with a bunch of drooling junkies anyway, I have enough of those in my own family to deal with. The reason why I applied at your establishment is because I am in desperate need to buy hair dye (because I have more roots than Kunta Kinte) and my car sucks up gas like a two dollar hooker at a sailor convention sucks cock.
Thank you for the time it took to send a real letter in the real mail to me, though I am sure that the cost of the stationary and postage is sure to rob someone of their yearly bonus. You may forward my address to them, so they may thank me for this in person.
Sincerely,
Tara Maguire, High Pope of all that I survey
P.S.
If you're wondering who my Executive Management Team is, I'll tell you. It's my cat, Nympho, who after reading your letter decided that it was a prime place to hork up a hair ball. Then I put it in my rats' cage, so they could all pee on it. If it makes you feel any better, my cat is a purebred Russian Blue. However, my rats are all ghetto-ass mutts who's lineage other then their parents (and some of them not even that) is quite unknown. Much like yourself. Have a nice day, fuckface.
It goes as follows:
Dear Ms. Maguire:
Our Executive Management Team has carefully considered your resume. Your qualifications are impressive; however, your credentials do not meet the needs of the Department at this time.
Thank you for you time and interest in pursuing employing with *name removed but it's that halfway house for drug addicts that I applied at to be an HR assistant*.
Sincerely,
Muckity Muck
My response that I would love to send in
Dear Assface:
My Executive Management Team has carefully considered your letter in response to my resume. Your mewling proclaimations are impressive; however you are still cordially invited to dine on my ass. I didn't want to work with a bunch of drooling junkies anyway, I have enough of those in my own family to deal with. The reason why I applied at your establishment is because I am in desperate need to buy hair dye (because I have more roots than Kunta Kinte) and my car sucks up gas like a two dollar hooker at a sailor convention sucks cock.
Thank you for the time it took to send a real letter in the real mail to me, though I am sure that the cost of the stationary and postage is sure to rob someone of their yearly bonus. You may forward my address to them, so they may thank me for this in person.
Sincerely,
Tara Maguire, High Pope of all that I survey
P.S.
If you're wondering who my Executive Management Team is, I'll tell you. It's my cat, Nympho, who after reading your letter decided that it was a prime place to hork up a hair ball. Then I put it in my rats' cage, so they could all pee on it. If it makes you feel any better, my cat is a purebred Russian Blue. However, my rats are all ghetto-ass mutts who's lineage other then their parents (and some of them not even that) is quite unknown. Much like yourself. Have a nice day, fuckface.
no subject
no subject
=D
it would be funny.
hahahah! kunta kinte!!#&)!*#! i snarf delightedly.
no subject
heh.
Oh, fuck ME