How I learned to love the plague

[thejunipertree]

After unsuccessfully pumping me full of Mystery Tea, my boss decided that I was a contamination risk and sent me home early from work. Her exact words were, "You look like shit. Go home."

I came home and promptly Passed The Fuck Out. Personally, I'm surprised I even made it home alive. I'm about to go slip into another coma after having spent the night watching one of my cats taint The Engineer's glass of water.

Is this spring water?! Oh my God, I LOVE spring water!

A word to the not-so-wise:

When a park ranger walks up to one's camp site with his hand resting on his gun, the first thing out of one's mouth should probably not be, "Uh-oh. Dad's PISSED."

Ranger Retard gave me the effing plague.
I just know it.

Comments

[dabble.livejournal.com]

The moment I start a new job I get whatever lurgy is floating around. Im sorry that you have the plague/ebola/flu/ickiness. Definately sounds like the Ranger Retard wished disease upon you. It was such a great line though - I think it was worth it.

Hope you feel better soon.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I manage to catch every damn bug that comes floating by. Especially since I contracted a staph infection about a year and a half ago, which totally killed my immune system (it wasn't diagnosed for a year).

[what-r-u-doing.livejournal.com]

a contamination risk?! at an abortion clinic?! that strikes me as unusual as government intelligence...
ranger retard....the new typhoid mary

[rowan-1958.livejournal.com]

"Dad's pissed" may not have been the right thing to say, but it was fucking hilarious! I'm sure the cold and damp didn't help whatever buggy thing you were fighting off before this weekend. Nyquil! Learn to love it....hope you feel better soon.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

NyQuil is the best substance on Earth.

I couldn't find my bottle of Robutussin DM last night, so I swiped my brother's NyQuil. And one of the last things I remember was lying in bed on a warm and fuzzy cloud, thinking "This is the fucking BEST feeling. I should really do this more often."

Too bad I used up the last of what was in the bottle. Especially since now I seem to have hit the runny nose and sniffles part of the show.