BEST JOKE EVER

[thejunipertree]

Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles and disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug consumption problem all over the world.

After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion that in order to better deal with the problem, that they should try to buy up all the drugs themselves and thereby remove them from circulation. It was therefore decided that a commission made up of some of the members return to earth to buy the different types of drugs.

The secret operation is effected and two days later the commissioned disciples begin to return to heaven. Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple:

"Who is it?"

"It's Paul"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Paul?"

"Hashish from Morocco"

"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"

"It's Mark"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Mark?"

"Marijuana from Colombia"

"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"

"It's Matthew"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Matthew?"

"Cocaine from Bolivia"

"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"

"It's John"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring John?"

"Crack from New York"

"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"

"It's Luke"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Luke?"

"Speed from Amsterdam"

"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"

"It's Judas"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Judas ?"

"The FBI, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS! EVERYONE AGAINST THE WALL!"

Comments

[dartsdelight.livejournal.com]

Haahaahahahaahaahaha....gotta love Judas!!!

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

I imagined the last line done by Harvey Kietel, because of him playing Judas in the Last Temptation of Christ.

I think that really made the joke for me, personally. ^_^

[dartsdelight.livejournal.com]

I can so see that....which reminds me I haven't seen that movie in a while -I need to pick it up -and speaking of all things religious -or sacreligious as it were, how's the Lucifer presentation going?

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

heh.

It has degenerated into me looking at sites like this: http://www.christiananswers.net/dinosaurs/j-where3.html

and discussing dinosaur poop with my friend, Rat Bastard.

him: heh. there are some creationist crackpots who are like "evolution is wrong! because dinosaurs still exist! they;re in the bible and they lived with mankind! god just removed the gift of dinosaurs from us because of our sin and keeps them hidden! but people have seen them in africa and in loch ness"

me: hah!

me: how the fuck are dinosaurs supposed to be a gift, anyway?

him: um. i guess they help people lift stuff? like pack animals? ;)

me: and poop on things.

me: BIG poop.

me: I love that jpg of Adam giving the raptor a fucking kiss.

him: hahaha

me: wonder what happened when he met the T-Rex?

me: "None of the animals ate meat or killed. " WHAT WHAT??

him: hahaahha

me: what the fucking fuck.

[dartsdelight.livejournal.com]

*Snicker* I think my night is now complete....if you want some good references to Satan you should read "Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman -that book makes me laugh every time!!

[aprilrobin.livejournal.com]

Bwah!

[anfarati.livejournal.com]

LMAO.

I just woke up my boyfriend I laughed so loud, mind if I steal?

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

sure!

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

HA!

[evilbalddago.livejournal.com]

hehehehe

[vivaemptiness.livejournal.com]

ak;jsg;ljalsd
i just sent that to about a zillion ppl at work.

also, your lj is très, très smoove these days.

ALSO: stellastarr* tonight at the tla? are you going?

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

also, your lj is très, très smoove these days.

Why, thank you!
Carrie did it for me. :D

ALSO: stellastarr* tonight at the tla? are you going?

hee!
It was good to see you, miss.
I just wish we could have actually talked,
rather then just shouted over the din.
Hope you had a good rest of the night. :)