October In The Chair

The muffin joke is apparently SRS BUSINESS.

PEE ESS:
Deux pains se reposent dans un four. Est-ce que premier pain vers le deuxième pain et, il se tourne dit "Est moi, ou ilfait- il obtention chaud dedans ici?" Le deuxième pain regarde le premier pain et indique, "Merde foutue sainte! Un pain parlant!"

OH, AND ALSO:
I'll have what I'm having.

A duck goes into a pharmacy. He says to the pharmacist, "I need some ointment for my beak. It is very chapped." The pharmacist says, "We have nothing for ducks here."

Jesus, in a very worried state, convened all of his apostles and disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug consumption problem all over the world.

After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion that in order to better deal with the problem, that they should try to buy up all the drugs themselves and thereby remove them from circulation. It was therefore decided that a commission made up of some of the members return to earth to buy the different types of drugs.

The secret operation is effected and two days later the commissioned disciples begin to return to heaven. Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple:

"Who is it?"

"It's Paul"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Paul?"

"Hashish from Morocco"

"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"

"It's Mark"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Mark?"

"Marijuana from Colombia"

"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"

"It's Matthew"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Matthew?"

"Cocaine from Bolivia"

"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"

"It's John"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring John?"

"Crack from New York"

"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"

"It's Luke"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Luke?"

"Speed from Amsterdam"

"Very well son, come in."

"Who is it?"

"It's Judas"

Jesus opens the door.

"What did you bring Judas ?"

"The FBI, YOU MOTHER FUCKERS! EVERYONE AGAINST THE WALL!"