EFF J00!

[thejunipertree]

I have been turning over and examing very carefully a sentence that was said to me yesterday by one of my wacky Jesus Crispie co-workers.

I put God before everything else in my life. Everything.

Everything? Like, effing seriously?`

I mean, say a friend of yours has been in a bad car wreck. No wait. Say you FATHER was in a bad wreck and he's about to die in the hospital. And this is your chance to say goodbye. But, you have to go to church? What do you do?

Do you say "Sorry, Dad. I know you're about ready to croak and all, but me and Jeebus got's to get our hang on?"

I don't effing understand this, I really don't.

Eff that shit, yo.

Oh, and make me stop saying "effing". It's starting to get on my nerves.

Comments

[mondae.livejournal.com]

Next time this Jesusy person begins telling you all about his/her love for Jesus and God and Fluffy White Clouds and Such, look him and/or her directly in the eye and say very solemnly,

"I have monkeys in my pants."

If you do this, I will surely give you a dollar.

I effing will.

[serpent-sky.livejournal.com]

I'll throw one in, too.

Especially since I picture you doing that, sort of lowering your head, with wide, innocent eyes, kind of pouting... this face I have seen you make before, basically, and saying that almost reverently.

Hell, I'll throw in $2 just to hear the story.

^_^

[mondae.livejournal.com]

I shall match pixie's funds.

So that's FOUR DOLLARS (thus far) if you formally declare the existence of your pantsmonkeys to your free-will-deficient co-worker! I eagerly await the resulting tale!


DING! JESUS IS DONE!

[blaqgirl.livejournal.com]

do you work in a Church? A monastary (sp?), a Catholic school.. I'm just trying to figure out where you're coming from :). Note:: I worked in a Private Catholic School.. and before that I attended one.. Not Catholic though..

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

No, actually I work in a mortgage company. ;)

Re:

[blaqgirl.livejournal.com]

roflmao.. I was going to say that I have experienced more religious inuendo in my jobs than you are.. that is so funny :).