I will always be your secret hater

I am a bundle of nerves. And I don't know why.
Mood swings, I would suppose. But, the simplest
things are raising my ire right now.

I have been uncharacteristically full of piss
and vinegar lately. Not my usual cocky wit, but
real and true callousness. It's not me. I'm
not sure how I feel about this.

I get urges to smash in the teeth of people. To
grab them by the hair, the back of the head,
and just repeatedly slam their face against
the nearest hard surface. Broken teeth. Bloody
mouth and nose. My fingers twitch. And I hate.

I never used to hate like this. I was always
the sort to live and let live. Turn the other
cheek. Forgiveness and all that rot. All of a
sudden, I have become this freakish hating
monster bitch.

I wish enormous amounts of pain upon the people
who have hurt me. I glee silently (and sometimes
not so silently) when I hear of their own trials
and tribulations.

I'm twitching again. Fucking rage. I'm not even
truly angry at anyone right now. Not true anger.
But, my fuse is quick and short. My blood is
turning to boil beneath my skin.

And I hate.

I wish I knew what was wrong with me.