May. 7th, 2002

thejunipertree: (Default)
Today is Hot Topic day.
The day where I attempt to sell my soul to The Man (TM).

Heading out to the mall with Buddy, attempting to swindle the kind people at Hot Topic into thinking I'm a magnificent manager type person so they'll give me a job.

Driving with my mother to work this morning was odd. I had to go with her, so I could have the car (missed my frigging exit on the way back, as well). She printed out my resume for me on her work computer (take that, scumbags!), which was ever-so-kind.

I didn't have much luck with calling places yesterday. Everyone wants me to fax my resume to them, which is fine and dandy. Just annoying. The first call I made was to a small business looking for a adminstrative assistant. The woman seemed rather pleasant and we spoke for a little while about the job. It's a very small office, I'd only be the third person working there. The other two people are her and her husband. She was a bit hesistant about my smaller skill with MS Word, but I assured her that I can do just fine with it. Sent my resume through email. Forgot to attach it like a dumb ass, then resent it properly.

I also found in the paper what I thought would be the perfect job for me. Receptionist at a tattoo parlour. Rang them up, quite skittery and excited in my socks, only to find that they're only paying six dollars an hour for the position. Pah! That's a four and a half dollar an hour pay cut that I would be taking. Unacceptable. I can't even remember the last time I was paid so little at a job.

I think the lowest I might go is 8.50-9.00, but even then...that's cutting it close.

Today I believe I'm also going to travel to my father's house to rummage through my belongings in the basement for things to sell on eBay. There's numerous and plenty Hello Kitty paraphenalia down there that is only collecting dust. Maybe I can even go through some of my books and rigaromole, as well.

Bah. I just want to go back to bed.

<----- L33T

May. 7th, 2002 03:22 pm
thejunipertree: (Default)
You know what really kicks me in the seat of the pants and makes me realise that I am, indeed, an ElderGoff?

Writing on my Hot Topic employment application under "Any skills/experience you feel would be beneficial towards working for Hot Topic?" this answer:

"I've been involved in the goth subculture for 14 years."

What other place can you write that on a job application and have it be a plus towards hiring you?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
thejunipertree: (Default)
Where the hell is my trashcan?!?

The last time I saw it, it was sitting next to my computer desk. This was last night, after I asked my brother to retrieve Edgar out of it. The trashcan is his mortal enemy.

Now, the damn thing is nowhere to be found.

How on earth do you lose a trashcan?

Sweet suffering fuck.
thejunipertree: (Default)
vozhd chewer: ChOmp cHomp

me: howdy

vozhd chewer: I HAVe beeN eEten! sAve me!!!!

vozhd chewer: hAr hAr har speeks thE SPOoKy BeesT!

vozhd chewer: eGaDs! itS alL SPoOKY

me: umm.

vozhd chewer: ANd DarK

vozhd chewer: doES THE dARknESs koNsUMe youR DarK Soul?!

vozhd chewer: or Do yOu wISh YttE DiD?!?!?!

vozhd chewer: egAds??!??!?!!!?!?

me: Only when I listen to Bauhaus in a dark dark graveyard at midnight whilst dressed in blackest black and sobbing over my Ian Curtis suicide note scrapbook.

vozhd chewer: yOU ph33r M3!!!!

vozhd chewer: THAT is SO Dark d0)d!!!!!1!!! Do you plAy vaMpIrE tHE MasquRAde?!?!?

me: I PH33R your sticky caps key.

vozhd chewer: toJjweafkj:

vozhd chewer: me too!!!!

me: All right. Fess up. Who is this?

vozhd chewer: aLl pH33r OV tHeE kApz0r KeY0r

vozhd chewer: yttE yZ tHEE vOZhd ChEWUr

me: And what do they call you at home, then?

vozhd chewer: THe spooKy BeIng!!!

vozhd chewer: CHewER oV sOuLeS!

me: I should have guessed.

vozhd chewer: oV KOurZe!!!!

vozhd chewer: the5E Keyb0rd!!!!

vozhd chewer: it aTtACkS my Dark sOulE!

vozhd chewer: saVe YtTe!!!

vozhd chewer: 1

vozhd chewer: 1

vozhd chewer: Do yoU wYSChE To LEevE mE IN tOrmEnt?!?!?

vozhd chewer: that woulD BEE kRUEll!!

me: whatever wings your wang, sparky.

vozhd chewer: eGadS!!!! dO nOt kAlL ThEe dArk oNe sPaRky Or yOu MeEt DAmnaTioN!!!!!11!!

vozhd chewer: WiTH meeeeeeeeT

vozhd chewer: Yum Yum TasTy meeEeEeeET

vozhd chewer: asddsfgh;'/'[]

vozhd chewer: eGADZ THEE DEMONz oV eturNAl dArknesS aTtACk0Rd My keyboaD!!

me: Do you often do this?

vozhd chewer: Do WhAt? Be my dArK seLphe?!

vozhd chewer: eye aM alwAYz my dARK Selphe!

me: Smoke crack and message people on AIM.

vozhd chewer: YtTe yZ An exPrEssun Ov my tRoO beIng

vozhd chewer: slUrP SLUrP

me: uh huh.

vozhd chewer: tHAt CrAkC tAste

vozhd chewer: likE yOu DTThEe kRACkE tAStE>

me: What is it with my friends that makes them wish to do this to me?

vozhd chewer: no FRenD hEer i Am freNd oNlY tO THeE DeEeMonZ

vozhd chewer: ov my DaRkEsT SoUL depthS

me: Do you know the demon god of cabbage?

vozhd chewer: eYE d00)0)!!!! yTTe yZ my bUDdy

vozhd chewer: we plAy VamPirE tHE MasqurAde On sAtuRdayZ

vozhd chewer: AS

vozhd chewer: I SLURP BLuuD

vozhd chewer: ytTE Tast0rz mYyTiLy

vozhd chewer: yuUum yUUum

me: I swear to God, if this is Carrie doing this to me again...

vozhd chewer: No cARrIe heeer

vozhd chewer: or cARRLe hEeR

vozhd chewer: OnlY THeE cHEWUr

vozhd chewer: thAt IZ aLl SpOokY And pHrIgHtEnIng

me: The Chewer, eh?

vozhd chewer: YeS.

vozhd chewer: You aRe afraYnd, yeS?

me: Terrified. No. Really. I am.

vozhd chewer: aDMIt YttE! i aM SPOooOoOOoOokY!

vozhd chewer: yOu ARe so terrOriFiEd!!!!11

vozhd chewer: rE beEsT!

me: I sure am scared of this Chewbacca person. Yep. This is me. Frightened as all get out.

vozhd chewer: CHewbaCKa? nO cHeWBaCKa HEEerE

vozhd chewer: aLl cHewEr aND sPoOoKy DOOmm sOUl

vozhd chewer: MY SOuL yzx the baLcKEsT bLack ColoUR

vozhd chewer: AnD It is sPoooOky a ND hAs TentAkLeS

vozhd chewer: aNd tHeY want yoUr blooOoOooooood

me: Testicles?

vozhd chewer: VaMpyRik TENtAklEs< nOt teStIKeLs

vozhd chewer: They iS DifFuRNt

vozhd chewer: knOw)RZ yoU nouyHIng

vozhd chewer: ?

me: Oh right, vampire testicles are undead.

vozhd chewer: no tHey aRE StYll alYVe!!!!

vozhd chewer: EagAaDS!

vozhd chewer: ChomPc hocMp

me: So, you're a spooky undead vampire, but your testicles are still living? How's that one work out?

vozhd chewer: aEEAaaae I am sO undEd mY teStIKlES dO Not exYST~!!!!!

me: uh huh.

vozhd chewer: aAaaEee You ae nOW frygThEned bEyOnd belLeEeeEf

me: I can feel years of my life dropping off as we speak.

vozhd chewer: vozhd chewer iS So sPOOOkY tHat thE yeErS Of yOur lYFe aRE adDEd to Mine!!1!!1

vozhd chewer: aeEEe i lIVe fOREhvur

me: Do you paint your turtle black, too?

vozhd chewer: No TurtoLe heEER, I Am tOO spoOookY to hAve a TuuURTLe

vozhd chewer: wAHtsisnaMeSFoOot

me: How about your hermit crab? Hermit crabs are pretty damn spooky.

vozhd chewer: HeeRmit KRAbgeS ArE PAINFUllllL

vozhd chewer: oNe bit Me YEsTurdHAy

me: Especially when they get attached to your testicles.

vozhd chewer: EYe sAid oUuUUcH

vozhd chewer: aaaaaaagh The thOuGht ytTe PaYNEz mEeEe

vozhd chewer: it byttte My pAiNfUL reTiNa?!

vozhd chewer: aNd my vamPYRik tEstikLes!

vozhd chewer: toEBEe ANd LoaBEee aRe mY ToEs

me: AHA! I've caught you in a lie! You said you had no testicles!

vozhd chewer: I lyed, i am so UnDed i mUsT nOT teLl Teh trUUTH oR elzE i wILl spOntAneously kOMBust)ER

vozhd chewer: It iS a pAInphul seeeEeKrIt o v me

me: KOMPRESSOR WILL CRUSH LIARS.

vozhd chewer: I krUsHed koMPrEssor alrEaDY WitH My sPooOookY dOoOm

vozhd chewer: aNd i ate hys BluuUud

me: Spooky doom?

vozhd chewer: anD hEe sAId ooOoOouCH

vozhd chewer: yes..>mY DoOM that YZ so SPooOokY

vozhd chewer: 4

vozhd chewer: nO fouR tHErE

me: I am becoming bored with this.

vozhd chewer: ArE tyOu pRepaReD FoR THe unleaShing ov spooKY DuoEM UpoN Thy eyE??!?!

me: Sure. Sock it to me, baby.

vozhd chewer: you are Bored with ThE SPOooky DEath ov THe eyE?

vozhd chewer: :eXPlodeS SpooKy eYe pain:

me: umm.

vozhd chewer: i musT go noW, pRepaRe To bE In iNteSne pain!

me: You do that. Don't forget your shoes. And all your glasses.

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