a conversation in my head.

Hrrrrm.

You look so very strange like that. Not bad. Just...not the person I knew.
I suppose neither of us are the people we knew anymore.

You surely aren't the person who has hid inside my head for all this time,
all these years. Same eyes, though. Same voice as well, I'd reckon.

But, there's a brittleness around your mouth. It comes out in your breath and blood.

Time is never kind to the heart.

would you like to play again?

More:

My mother goes back to work tomorrow, which has me all tied up in knots. It was bad enough when I returned to work. It killed me to leave her on her own everyday, with no one to speak to and no one to help if she needed anything. But now, she's going to be in that hateful office run by that pig of a man. And most of her/my friends no longer work there. She won't even be in the same department.

And I'm truly worried about how it's going to physically effect her. She had a treatment on Friday and she never completely bounces back, let alone by the following Monday. There's nothing I can do to help her. And it's got me all fretful and lip bitey.

The only thing I suppose I can do is just be patient. And watchful. And supportive.

*sighs*
I wish that life had a reset button, I really do.

is falling down

I had rather unsettling dreams this morning. Strange and uneasy. I dreamt I saw six buildings in London go down. Just...fall to the ground. Collapsing. Rubble and dust everywhere. But, it was completely silent.

I'm sure it's a throwback to the images of the World Trade Centers going down that I've seen on television and in magazines. But, it still shook me. London for me is what NYC is to Carrie. It's the city of my heart. I don't think I'll ever set eyes on it again, not in realtime at any rate. But, it still exists in my dreams. And I can still step foot in it in those.

And to see it wounded like that, to be given such an enormous scar...
Well, it's more than a little bit shaking.

I feel a bit silly for this.


oh, I hate them all.
I hate them all.
I hate them all.
How have I offended thee?
Wrap your tender arms around me.
Oh Lord, oh my Lord.
Oh Lord, oh my Lord.