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Jun. 4th, 2003 12:45 amIt's raining out, a glorious rain. The kind I wait all year for. If I weren't so goddamn and cursed sick, then I'd be outside in it. Standing still, face turned to the sky, letting it wash every bad thing away from me.
The Juniper Tree is in my head again and this time it seems like it won't leave until I do something with it. For those of you who don't know, the Juniper Tree is a folktale. My favourite one to be precise. And it's one of the sickest and darkest of them all.
I've been toying with the idea of writing a story revolving around it, but it's always been thrown to the wayside.
kah-wit, kah-wit, kah-wit, kah-why...o, what a beautiful bird am I...
It's a beautiful story and I highly urge everyone I know to go out and procure a copy of it. Post haste.
Doped up on NyQuil. Cherry flavour and the ghetto version, as a matter of fact. Humming to myself and touching my skin as it tingles still from the hothothothot bathwater I ran.
Samaisha's brother is very sick. I don't think I've mentioned this before, not with all of my own family related illness issues. Her brother also has cancer. Very advanced and spreading through his body like a rough, black fire. He's been in and out of the hospital, but they wouldn't keep him because he still wasn't deemed terminal.
Today, unfortunately, he was. The cancer is all through his lungs. There's three tumours, that they know of, on his brain. He has pain in his hip that they think may be more malignancy.
He's coming home, on Thursday. Coming home to die. Samaisha, who works with me and has worked with me for the past three jobs I've had, is taking a leave from work to care for him.
There's nothing left to do for him, which is very gut wrenching to say. But, there isn't. It took hold of him so fast, none of us really had any time to blink. I light candles for him every night, asking the Baron to give him a speedy and painless passage. I wish I could beg for his life, hope and pray and wish that he could make a slight chance. But, in this case, there is /no/ chance.
I feel helpless against this onslaught. Between Samaisha's brother and my own mother, I don't know which way to turn. I'll be visiting S as often as I can, bringing her books and trying to give her a bit of a respite. I don't know how much good it will actually do, but it's all I can really offer.
There is too much sadness.
I would point it to the door, if I held that power in my tiny, paw-like hands.
The Juniper Tree is in my head again and this time it seems like it won't leave until I do something with it. For those of you who don't know, the Juniper Tree is a folktale. My favourite one to be precise. And it's one of the sickest and darkest of them all.
I've been toying with the idea of writing a story revolving around it, but it's always been thrown to the wayside.
kah-wit, kah-wit, kah-wit, kah-why...o, what a beautiful bird am I...
It's a beautiful story and I highly urge everyone I know to go out and procure a copy of it. Post haste.
Doped up on NyQuil. Cherry flavour and the ghetto version, as a matter of fact. Humming to myself and touching my skin as it tingles still from the hothothothot bathwater I ran.
Samaisha's brother is very sick. I don't think I've mentioned this before, not with all of my own family related illness issues. Her brother also has cancer. Very advanced and spreading through his body like a rough, black fire. He's been in and out of the hospital, but they wouldn't keep him because he still wasn't deemed terminal.
Today, unfortunately, he was. The cancer is all through his lungs. There's three tumours, that they know of, on his brain. He has pain in his hip that they think may be more malignancy.
He's coming home, on Thursday. Coming home to die. Samaisha, who works with me and has worked with me for the past three jobs I've had, is taking a leave from work to care for him.
There's nothing left to do for him, which is very gut wrenching to say. But, there isn't. It took hold of him so fast, none of us really had any time to blink. I light candles for him every night, asking the Baron to give him a speedy and painless passage. I wish I could beg for his life, hope and pray and wish that he could make a slight chance. But, in this case, there is /no/ chance.
I feel helpless against this onslaught. Between Samaisha's brother and my own mother, I don't know which way to turn. I'll be visiting S as often as I can, bringing her books and trying to give her a bit of a respite. I don't know how much good it will actually do, but it's all I can really offer.
There is too much sadness.
I would point it to the door, if I held that power in my tiny, paw-like hands.
