(no subject)

A count of Speck's babies today proved to be rather surprising. I had my brother take her out of the nursery tank I had her in and leave the room, so I could change her pillowcase bedding and try to get a good look at the newborn rats.

This went without a hitch, thankfully. She seems to have much more of a better attitude towards motherhood then Aleister does. Aleister bites the bars of her cage whenever steps up next to it and she'll try to snap at you if you come to close. I've yet to be able to get her a clean pillowcase and feeding her is something of a trial.

So, my brother had Speck and I pulled out the little container I'd given her to nest the babies into. The inital pile seemed a bit daunting and I couldn't make heads or tails of it (literally). Because of this, I had to count them all into my mother's cupped hands one by one.

14, in all.

Criminey. 14!

This makes for a grand total of 25, between both mothers. Jesus H.

free ferrets and a vague 20

The email which popped up in my inbox a moment ago was simply entitled "ferrets". Two words, for the body of the mail: "Want some?"

This came from my friend and ex-roommate, Tony Smash!, the drummer of Myles of Destruction (or Styles of Distinction, as we renamed them during a drunken party a couple of weeks ago).

A friend of his has {unnamed amount $!=ferrets} and need to get rid of them because their landlord is a hoser. Not because they are tired of sustaining bites (he felt the need to point this out to me, god bless Tony).

The least amount of ferrets is going to be two. I had been planning on getting Edgar a cagemate, but that had been purely singular in my mind previously.

I think I might be full up on animals right now. I wonder how long this girl can hold out with her landlord on the ferrets. Maybe until all of my baby rats have grown up and been placed into homes? Even then, I'm not sure about [three, possibly more} ferrets.

Shit, one is hard enough to keep track of...

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and now! A cryptic 20, since everyone else is doing it!

(1.) You really have the most appalling taste in companions. Which is rather a shame, since you're a lovely person when you're not being a blistering kneefuck.

(2.) /vomit

(3.) I saw this photograph in your living room once. And it filled me with the worst depression you could possibly imagine. Because I knew I could never have what was displayed in the photo. This doesn't mean what you think it means, by the way.

(4.) You are a whey faced cuntrabbit. And I know you still read this. You just have to sound out the bigger words or run to check the Baby's First Dictionary your newest mealticket bought for you on his Visa Gold card.

(5.) If I had the opportunity to be anyone in this world, it would be you.

(6.) Who let you out of the fucking loonybin, Frances Farmer? Holy shit, I've never met anyone as batshit crazy as you before. There but for the grace of God go I.

(7.) You piss me off so much, do you know that? You present this lovely side of yourself to all of your little internet cronies and they all think you're this luscious being. When in reality, you're nothing but a scared little whiney cunt who makes up issues as to seem more interesting. You think I don't know about all the smack you've talked on me? You're wrong, Tweedle-Dee.

(8.) You're right. That's precisely what is needed. Too bad you're not the one who's going to get to fill that office. You could have worn the mantle, long ago. But, you mucked that one up all on your own, sticky fingers.

(9.) You /are/ the most beautiful girl in the world. I miss you so much.

(10.) You intimidate the hell out of me. Thank God the chances of us ever meeting are rather small, because I'd most likely make a tremendous ass out of my ass in front of you.

(11.) You, you, you, you, and you. I have never in my life been so close to females before. You give me hope for the gender.

(12.) I know you're going to give up on me one day. That thought brings me such pain, but I know it's inevitable. It's just the way you are. I can only wait. And pray that you make it as painless as possible.

(13.) If you think the above statement applies to you, you're wrong.

(14.) Hey, here's a quick suggestion for you: take off the skirt, stop acting like such a fucking nancy, and move on with your life. Also, buy a helmet for the next time it happens. And it WILL happen.

(15.) Sometimes, I have an almost overwhelming urge to post "what's a nubian?" in reply to every thing you post. Luckily, I have enormous self-restraint. It would still be pretty funny though, if you ask me.

(16.) The abrasive iconoclast act really isn't working out for you, is it? I suggest you take up clog dancing.

(17.) I want my fucking shoes back! What can you possibly want with them? They don't fit you. They don't fit your new girlfriend. They don't fit your sister or your ex-wife. Give me back my shoes! They were my favourite pair!

(18.) EW YER CREEPY!

(19.) You make me want to scream and shriek and pull your face off. I still love you. And I kick myself for that, you nosefucker.

(20.) Do you know how many times you've saved my life? More then I can count.