[dreams] sky's gone out

It is night.
And the sky stretches over my head like a great black canopy.
The news has been full of reports of Mars, how it's looming in the sky like a tiny second moon. A crowd of people has gathered in the park down the winding road from my apartment. The geese and white ducks which normally inhabit this area are silent, gliding smoothly across the water with nary a ripple. They've probably been put off by the teeming human crowds invading their home.

A collective gasp rose suddenly, a gentle sighing that wound through the air. Everyone around me had their heads craned back on their necks, pointing up and marvelling at the sky.

I crushed my smoldering cigarette underfoot and peered with them.

It wasn't the red planet they were gawking at, it was the stars.
Stars, falling down around us in droves. Like nothing else I'd ever seen before. I sat up for a meteor shower once, in a cold February night. The falls were sporadic and occasional, nothing like this.

Now, the sky was coming down around me. Swiftly.
What would happen when all the stars were gone?
My heart sunk low in my chest and an insidious fear swept through my skin.

audblog audio post

audblog audio post

I'm congested and tired, my voice isn't at its best.
But, it's half of my previous entry (the full one wouldn't
quite fit). hrmph.

20,000 a year? I think that's a GREAT opportunity. *

Tomorrow, I am destined for yet another round of "Let's sit at the unemployment office and hear a bunch of shit I already know about how to find a job!"

Phooey.

I am completely and totally uninterested in this dreck. For one thing, I lost all respect for whoever is running this monkey show when I was told "check the obituary ads in your local newspaper for job leads".

Not only that, but the majority of the people I'm surrounded by in that room are pudding skin on the face of this earth. Except maybe for the former Marine sniper guy. He's kind of cool.

I just don't want to deal with it. I hate driving to that part of Jersey (it's in Camden) and not because it's a nasty neighbour. What I dislike is pulling out of the parking lot. It's on a main stretch of road, which is quite busy. And to my left, it's almost a blind turn. There's usually a fucktonne of people standing at the bus stop right there and I can't see the fuck past them to notice whether there's any cars coming or not. From my right, it's an almost steady stream of traffic.

Now, I'm not a chickenhearted driver. With my driving, I've made some of my most stoic friends flail for the door handle in an effort to give themselves some security. I drive fast and sharp, this is something I enjoy. Sometimes, I even like to play with my passengers by waiting a godawful amount of time to let a car pass before I make the turn. It pleases me to do so. But, there are just some situations which are no-win.

Like pulling out of this fucking parking lot.

I can't pull out if there's no goddamn space for me to do so. I once smoked an entire cigarette, waiting for my chance to get onto that godforsaken road.

Driving nastiness and knuckle draggers aside, I also have to go in the middle of the day. Two o'clock, I believe. Despite the fact that I hate getting up early in the morning on the best of occasions, I would still rather that this appointment be in the morning. At least then I can still have a decent day left ahead of me. I'm not going to have the time to do any of my more normal Monday activities, which include tending to all the rat cages and cleaning my apartment. No, because I have to go to this cocksmithing orientation for two hours and then leave my apartment at four thirty to pick up my mother from work by five.

Hopefully, they won't be springing anymore surprise appointments on us. I was under the impression that we were only supposed to have three. Monday's appointment makes four.

* That's sarcasm, yo.

dye spots on my floor again

I suppose that there are some benefits to waking up early for random stupid reasons.

I've managed to cut and dye my hair, and it's only eleven am.

Such an exciting life I lead sometimes, I tell you.

you're an adult? talk like one.

The vodoun listserves I'm on have once again gotten me down.
Last night, I saw a post from some Houngan who said he was in NJ and not very far away from me at that. I got happy, thinking maybe I would email him. Try to set up some correspondence so I can at least talk to someone who's involved in the same sort of thing that I am.

However, when I checked my mail today there was another (totally different topic from the previous night) post from him in reply to someone's question about whether or not a specific file saved referencing Crowley meant that their Society had ties to Thelema.

This guy's answer? That while he couldn't speak for everyone else, he had read it and didn't like it. Then he proclaimed it to be "kaka".

As in the baby word for shit. I have problems with that statement on numerous levels. One of which is the fact that an apparently grown man feels the need to use baby words. This really irks me to no end. The only people I've ever known to use baby talk are either (a.) babies, (b.) people talking to babies (and this isn't exactly excusable, either. I fucking hate that shit.), and (c.) idiots.

My either problem is that I don't like his disrespect for something he knows absolutely nothing about and his disrespect of the person who had posted said file.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he's a really great guy. But, I can't get past that sort of thing. So, I suppose I won't ever contact him.

grr.

I'm beginning to despair of ever meeting someone local I can discuss this/my religion with who's actually /involved/ in it and not a complete tard.

from the Stellastarr* website:

6 . 20 . 03
Our self-titled debut album will be released on September 23, 2003 off RCA Records.

I don't know how I didn't notice this the last time I checked their site.
*sniff*
I'm so proud.