Last Will and Testament

I, Tara Maguire, being of sound mind and having the MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN PLAGUE, do leave the following people the following items:

*thinks*

Hmm.

On second thought, screw that. The Engineer can have everything and HE can figure out who gets what when this Ebola finally strangles the life from my body.

Miss Robin may have her pick of my shoes, since we wear the same size, but I don't think she's too into platforms.


I've got the flesh eating virus from Cabin Fever, I just know it. It just hasn't starting eating my flesh yet. This is what I get for going camping. I've probably also have contracted a screeching case of the earwigs. Or maybe dolphins.

How I learned to love the plague

After unsuccessfully pumping me full of Mystery Tea, my boss decided that I was a contamination risk and sent me home early from work. Her exact words were, "You look like shit. Go home."

I came home and promptly Passed The Fuck Out. Personally, I'm surprised I even made it home alive. I'm about to go slip into another coma after having spent the night watching one of my cats taint The Engineer's glass of water.

Is this spring water?! Oh my God, I LOVE spring water!

A word to the not-so-wise:

When a park ranger walks up to one's camp site with his hand resting on his gun, the first thing out of one's mouth should probably not be, "Uh-oh. Dad's PISSED."

Ranger Retard gave me the effing plague.
I just know it.