white light from the mouth of infinity

As said by one of my co-workers this afternoon: It's Percy Shelley's birthday today. It's my brother's birthday, too. But, one must have their priorities in line.

The past few days weeks months have been completely insane for me, but at this point I've grown so used to the feeling of being overwhelmed that if it were to stop, I would most likely go into shock and die.

I worked last night until eleven p.m. The state of my brain by the time I stumbled through my apartment door was truly something to behold. Nine in the morning until eleven at night. I sang to myself the entire drive home, bleary and giggling, because my stereo is not working once again.

There is nothing quite so pleasurable as driving late at night, when no one else is on the road.

I received word today that Mom is going back into the hospital because of the blood clot in her leg. Just as I was writing that sentence, she called me. She was brought to the hospital, tested for something or other, then brought back to the nursing home.

I'm trying desperately to acknowledge this situation, but not focus on it. At this point, if I focus on the things which loom over my family, I am going to crack. I can feel the strain, as it is.

There are days when I can barely speak because I know that the second I open my mouth, everything will come tumbling out in great waves of hideousness.