I want my birthday cake in blinking lights

Rain is pouring down in great, grey sheets this morning. I'm driving to work, one hand holding a cigarette, the other lazily steering. I take the back roads to my office now. It's quieter, less traffic, more interesting things to look at. It's a nice change from fast food poison and SUVs that don't know how to use their turn signals.

I'm just about ready to turn left, the very last leg of my short trip, when I spot it out of the corner of my eye.

Ramshackle house almost on the corner, maybe three or four houses in. I've noticed it before, but only because it has one of those lovely wrap-around porches that I've been wishing for my entire life. A porch to drink Boone's Farm on with laughing friends until the wee hours of the night. A porch to read trashy novels on. The best porch in the world.

However, what caught my attention this morning is not that fabulous porch. Instead, it's an enormous sign hung up over the porch.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JESUS!

In lights!

I bet they even blink.

O, happy day!

[work]

When you hear the word 'bonus', what do you think of?

Something extra, yes? Something unexpected and freely given?

Could have fooled a large portion of the people who work for the company that currently employs me.

It's the holidays and in these offices, that turns everyone's thoughts to the Holiday Bonus (tm). Which basically means that the weeks and days leading up to the holiday party, many of them will be doing nothing but griping. Complaining about last year's bonus and how it was smaller than the year before. Complaining that they had to attend the company holiday party to get said bonus. Complaining that so-and-so received more than them. Complaining that the bonus wasn't an astronomical amount of money because they are so valuable to the company. They expect this gift. They demand it.

What I would like to know is where the hell does this sense of entitlement come from?

In all of my years of general employment, I've only received a holiday bonus maybe three or four times. I know I got them at Tower books, though they weren't cash. They were gift certificates. And I know I got one at my first mortgage job. I can't remember if I got one at my last mortgage job, though. I seem to have blocked out a lot of the memories of that place and rightfully so.

This year, working for my absolute favourite job ever (despite the low pay and high bullshit), I probably won't get one. And if I do actually get one, I doubt it will be for very much money. And it doesn't bother me whatsoever.

I'm not expecting a bonus, mostly because I haven't been with the company for even a year yet. And even if I did get one, I would be happy with whatever was gifted to me. I certainly wouldn't piss and moan because some dippy bitch I barely know received more money than me. It's a gift.

It's gotten to the point with all of these hurt feelings and accusations that the CEO has drafted a memo explaining how he started giving bonuses in the first place and how he chooses who gets what. God strike me down dead, but for once I actually agree with the man (and I will never admit to that particular ever again).

He doesn't have to give them, but he does it anyway. I don't exactly agree with how he chooses who gets what, but it's not my decision to make and not my place to voice that disagreement. Not that he would even listen to me about it, he can be a very obtuse man (as evidenced by the four hour administrative staff meeting that happened yesterday, which I will not be discussing).

I helped Angel proof the memo today, as she needed my input. In some ways, I think it's a great idea to send out this explanation. But on the other hand, I think he's going to shoot himself in the foot with it. Staff are going to read it and they will still complain. They'll still be pissed off, no matter what he says. It's impossible to make all of them happy at the same time.

What I really want to do is send out a general memo telling them all to just suck it the fuck up and be quiet. Yes, we work in a high stress environment and our fearless leader doesn't make the wisest decisions. And we're all underpaid, overworked.

But, we've all got jobs. Jobs that actually do some good in the world.

It's as if some of them don't even care about that and aren't even thankful for any bonus or word of thanks they may potentially get. It's all about more more more gimmee gimmee gimmee.

Fuck that noise.
I just want my goddamn paycheck.
Anything extra is just that, extra.