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May. 3rd, 2005 12:23 amIt's simply amazing what crawls out of the woodwork, begging for a handout, when the newest headlines get splashed all over the front yard.
It's also a bit difficult to discern if this is memory prodded into action by junksick, or if mine oldest brother is just being crafty. Or, completely away from that mode of thought, if he's just suddenly remembered that middle brother owed him a small amount of money for a legal mishap which happened a few years ago.
Middle brother and I are at odds over what to think, though not with each other. It's completely astounding, the united fronts we have shown this world in the past two years. You never would have guessed at these shows of solidarity back when I was seven and he was twelve, when he would stand on my hip-length hair and not let me up until I admitted I was a. found in a dumpster, b. really adopted (after being found in a dumpster, or c. the daughter of the Tidy Bowl man.
Being the sole blonde-haired, blue-eyed, and fair-skinned child in a family full of olive skinned Italians and a mother who dyed her hair did not make for a bump-free childhood. My brothers are my half-brothers, both of them are dark-eyed and dark-haired, while I carry all the genes of Eastern Europe (with French, Cherokee, and Romani thrown into the mix to make things more interesting and hard to guess). I look more like their sibling now that I dye my hair blue-black and line my eyes with kohl, then I ever did while growing up.
We love our eldest brother, in our own fashion, but it is difficult to parse this current situation. He's a junkie and his clean status is unknown by either of us. Any of the other family members who would possibly know the truth are either dead (Mom) or not speaking to us for various and sundry reasons (the rest of the family), other then my father who is not involved in this shitfest because he is my father alone and not theirs.
I want to believe that this is an innocent happenstance, I really do.
But, the past makes it almost too difficult to do so.
It's also a bit difficult to discern if this is memory prodded into action by junksick, or if mine oldest brother is just being crafty. Or, completely away from that mode of thought, if he's just suddenly remembered that middle brother owed him a small amount of money for a legal mishap which happened a few years ago.
Middle brother and I are at odds over what to think, though not with each other. It's completely astounding, the united fronts we have shown this world in the past two years. You never would have guessed at these shows of solidarity back when I was seven and he was twelve, when he would stand on my hip-length hair and not let me up until I admitted I was a. found in a dumpster, b. really adopted (after being found in a dumpster, or c. the daughter of the Tidy Bowl man.
Being the sole blonde-haired, blue-eyed, and fair-skinned child in a family full of olive skinned Italians and a mother who dyed her hair did not make for a bump-free childhood. My brothers are my half-brothers, both of them are dark-eyed and dark-haired, while I carry all the genes of Eastern Europe (with French, Cherokee, and Romani thrown into the mix to make things more interesting and hard to guess). I look more like their sibling now that I dye my hair blue-black and line my eyes with kohl, then I ever did while growing up.
We love our eldest brother, in our own fashion, but it is difficult to parse this current situation. He's a junkie and his clean status is unknown by either of us. Any of the other family members who would possibly know the truth are either dead (Mom) or not speaking to us for various and sundry reasons (the rest of the family), other then my father who is not involved in this shitfest because he is my father alone and not theirs.
I want to believe that this is an innocent happenstance, I really do.
But, the past makes it almost too difficult to do so.
