(no subject)

I'm not exactly known for being the most errr...focused of people. My old roommates had a joke about me that involved rolling a nickel on the floor, in my line of vision, if they needed me to get off their tail. I've been likened to a magpie stealing shiny bits of tin to line its nest by several people, in unrelated incidents. It's not unheard of for me to talk into a store with a written list of what I need to buy, constantly reminding myself what I'm there for, and swearing up and down that I won't tear off helter skelter and STILL go: "oooh! That's one of those special frying pans! I've wanted one of those forever! *boing! boing! boing!*" The Engineer recently referred to this as the "The Tara Shopping Experience".

It's one of my most glaring faults. I own it. It's a part of me and I accept that. My boss, Angel, is a lot like me. We've gone out to pick up lunch from a nearby grocery store, was gone for two and a half hours, and came back with only a two gallon jar of pickles, some cheese, and a DVD of 'Stellaluna'. Her boyfriend has her keep one hand on the shopping cart at all times when they're out shopping. I have contemplated seeing if this would work when I was out with the Engineer, but most likely I would wind up just not listening to him.

This un-focus has begun leading into me putting something down and then wandering away because my gears have shifted.

Today, while cleaning out the Emily Strange shoulder bag I bought on eBay from corybant, I found a bank envelope from Heaven knows when. With two twenties and a ten in it.

Fifty dollars.

That's a lot of money to me. (my brain has just started cawing and flapping: 'That's a lot of shiny things, Tara! A lot. Of. Shiny!')

How on fucking Earth did I manage to FORGET I had fifty dollars? And how did I not notice that fifty dollars was missing? It's almost unthinkable.

And the worst part is?

This isn't the first time this has happened.

Some time ago, I was cleaning out the hall closet and found a purse I hadn't used in some months. Inside was another bank envelope. And this one had a hundred dollars tucked away inside. That was like my birthday, Second Christmas, and Halloween all rolled into one.

I'm thinking about all of this because as soon as I leave work, I have to stop at Target to pick up a couple of things. A couple of things. Those are very omnious words in my household.

But, I really only need a couple of things. I need cat litter, litter liners, a pumice stone, Method lavender cleaning spray, and something I can't remember because I forgot to write a list. Five, possibly six, things. Ok.

I swear. Just those things. Nothing else.