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Nov. 29th, 2005 08:10 pmThere has been a bit of talk in my head about purchasing a Christmas tree (a real tree, not any of that fake plastic shit and none of that goddamn spray-on snow, either), but funds are a bit tight and I'd like to reserve as much money as I can for buying presents for myself the people that I care about.
I miss Christmas trees, though. They were always my favourite part of the holiday. That and giving things to people in fantastically wrapped packages. Evergreens, no matter what the variety, just smell great and they make me happy. A tree in the house! And you cover it with shiny things! How much cooler can you get? The actual holiday can take a long walk off a short pier, but I do so love the decorations.
When I was a child, my father would decorate the entire house in blue. Blue lights on the tree and all over the house's exterior. Blue and silver ornaments. Blue garland. Blue candles. Blue wrapping paper. Everything. And I was always so proud that our house was much prettier and enormously different than everyone else's. He stopped doing that some years ago, despite my loud protests. And last year, he didn't even put the lights up all over the outside of the house and the trees surrounding his property. It made a small, black lump of despair rise up inside my chest, but I'm becoming used to that feeling when it's a situation involving my family.
I miss the apartment being covered in decorations for this time of year. This will be the second annual not-decorating-of-the-apartment. It doesn't get any easier. All the decorations and baubles are still in their battered boxes in my father's basement and I don't think I'll be dragging them out any time soon. It's still too painful.
But, trees are something I can get behind with no troubles. It just doesn't seem like this time of the year without getting one. Maybe I can find a wee one, something small and nicely apartment sized, to place on top of the extra coffee table that I still haven't gotten rid of. I could swathe the bottom of it in a ton of fabric from my sewing box and pick out my favourite ornaments from the boxes in the cellar. I could even buy some purple or blue garland and string that around the living room, with my purple bat lights. If I can remember where I put them. Or I could buy cheap blue lights at Target. Ghetto Christmas.
It wouldn't cost that much money to buy a few strings of lights and some tinselly garland. Just a little nudge toward the season?
Maybe.
I miss Christmas trees, though. They were always my favourite part of the holiday. That and giving things to people in fantastically wrapped packages. Evergreens, no matter what the variety, just smell great and they make me happy. A tree in the house! And you cover it with shiny things! How much cooler can you get? The actual holiday can take a long walk off a short pier, but I do so love the decorations.
When I was a child, my father would decorate the entire house in blue. Blue lights on the tree and all over the house's exterior. Blue and silver ornaments. Blue garland. Blue candles. Blue wrapping paper. Everything. And I was always so proud that our house was much prettier and enormously different than everyone else's. He stopped doing that some years ago, despite my loud protests. And last year, he didn't even put the lights up all over the outside of the house and the trees surrounding his property. It made a small, black lump of despair rise up inside my chest, but I'm becoming used to that feeling when it's a situation involving my family.
I miss the apartment being covered in decorations for this time of year. This will be the second annual not-decorating-of-the-apartment. It doesn't get any easier. All the decorations and baubles are still in their battered boxes in my father's basement and I don't think I'll be dragging them out any time soon. It's still too painful.
But, trees are something I can get behind with no troubles. It just doesn't seem like this time of the year without getting one. Maybe I can find a wee one, something small and nicely apartment sized, to place on top of the extra coffee table that I still haven't gotten rid of. I could swathe the bottom of it in a ton of fabric from my sewing box and pick out my favourite ornaments from the boxes in the cellar. I could even buy some purple or blue garland and string that around the living room, with my purple bat lights. If I can remember where I put them. Or I could buy cheap blue lights at Target. Ghetto Christmas.
It wouldn't cost that much money to buy a few strings of lights and some tinselly garland. Just a little nudge toward the season?
Maybe.
