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Mar. 27th, 2006 11:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thejunipertreeKahlua with chocolate milk and a big slab of gingerbread by the pound from Whole Foods and I'm beginning to feel a bit more human. A bit, I said. Let's not get crazy now.
I think I should do a banishing for the apartment, maybe hang some rue over the doorways and windows? I'm not sure. Last night, after Elder Brother left, I picked all of his cigarette butts and empty pack out of the trash and sealed them in a freezer bag from the cabinet. I just went on auto-pilot as I did it, calming retrieving them as I spoke to the Engineer and Middle Brother.
I want to do some sort of working against him, but I don't want him hurt. Perhaps an all-purpose 'piss off and never darken my doorstep again' would do, but nothing really nasty. I could get up to some serious dickens, if I so desired, but that's really not the route I wish to take. No matter how angry I am right now. Despite the fact that my reptile brain, which is normally quiet and sedate, is absolutely screaming for blood at the moment. And will be for quite some time. I was an absolute horror at work today, snapping and snarling at everyone who came to close. To the point where my boss took me aside and asked what was going on, because my personality had changed so drastically from what she's become used to seeing in the past three weeks. I felt simply awful about my behaviour and made a true effort throughout the rest of the day to not be such an utter twat.
hmm. Can't finish the gingerbread. Maybe one of the cats circling at my feet want it? Paws off the Kahlua, however. That bitch is all mine.
I think I should do a banishing for the apartment, maybe hang some rue over the doorways and windows? I'm not sure. Last night, after Elder Brother left, I picked all of his cigarette butts and empty pack out of the trash and sealed them in a freezer bag from the cabinet. I just went on auto-pilot as I did it, calming retrieving them as I spoke to the Engineer and Middle Brother.
I want to do some sort of working against him, but I don't want him hurt. Perhaps an all-purpose 'piss off and never darken my doorstep again' would do, but nothing really nasty. I could get up to some serious dickens, if I so desired, but that's really not the route I wish to take. No matter how angry I am right now. Despite the fact that my reptile brain, which is normally quiet and sedate, is absolutely screaming for blood at the moment. And will be for quite some time. I was an absolute horror at work today, snapping and snarling at everyone who came to close. To the point where my boss took me aside and asked what was going on, because my personality had changed so drastically from what she's become used to seeing in the past three weeks. I felt simply awful about my behaviour and made a true effort throughout the rest of the day to not be such an utter twat.
hmm. Can't finish the gingerbread. Maybe one of the cats circling at my feet want it? Paws off the Kahlua, however. That bitch is all mine.