(no subject)

[thejunipertree]

It is midnight oh five and I am sitting at the compute desk using the ottoman from my overstuffed living room chair. My brother took the computer chair. I could take one of the ones from the kitchen table, but the Engineer moved this over here earlier this evening and I am far too lazy to do anything about it.

Had to tilt the monitor down to see it properly and my wrists are at a borked angle for typing, but- oh well.

Where did my brother take the computer chair, you ask?

The answer: to his new place.

He moved out this afternoon, into a house he and his best friend are renting.

Nothing crazy has happened between us, mind you. He just didn't want to live here anymore and I did. I'd be hard pressed to get rid of the only brother I speak to. That would drop my blood family down to just me and my father; not a happy occasion at all.

Because I can not indefinitely sustain living here by myself for much longer than a month or so, the Engineer will be moving in at the end of April. That in itself is a momentous occasion as we have been together almost eight years and I have always shook my head at the notion of shacking up. I am, by nature, extremely solitary and very territorial. I'd always said we would finally move in together if it could be a really big house and I could have a separate wing, just me and my crazy.

That being said, since I didn't want to move in with my brother and his friend (for a variety of reasons, none of which are a reflection on them themselves), the Engineer is leaving his apartment for this one.

It is, as the kids say these days: a very big deal for me. And him.

We're both nervous. We both don't know what to expect. And we both don't like having our hands forced into making this decision, but it's unavoidable. Even moreso beyond the being nervous and the hey hey hey, we also both don't particularly like the idea of me being homeless. So then- here we find ourselves. We have quite a bit to do and get used to, but it will be interesting at the very least. It should go smoothly, providing I don't lose my nut every time he puts something on the coffee table that doesn't actually live there (a particularly fun aspect of my OCD).

I, at least, get a blessed handful of weeks of rattling around this apartment completely by myself with the cats and the snakes, which is something I've always wanted to experience.

There's more to talk of, beyond all of this, but my keyboard's batteries are slowly giving up the ghost and I am finding myself having to backspace and correct every four keystrokes. That, and I have to get up at stupid o'clock for a mandatory meeting at work tomorrow. Hoo and ray.

Comments

[bryany.livejournal.com]

I loved living on my own, it was definately my favourite house arrangement.

That said, I wouldn't want that to happen again as that would mean I would have split with my current parnter! Both of us like our own space, so we've set up the house so each of us have our own room.

I'm downstairs with my TV and laptop. He's upstairs with his music and computer. Some nights we get home from work and don't see each other until we go to bed.

[jennifer0246.livejournal.com]

i only talk to one of my brothers and my dad too. well, of immediate family. i have lots of aunts/uncles/cousins, etc.

good luck with the living together thing. as you know, it worked out really well for us (together 3y, i moved to NY to be closer to him, we lived together for 2y and got married 3w ago). just keep time for yourself and be sure to talk about things when they bug you, instead of letting them bottle up.

[babyraven.livejournal.com]

Best of luck! If you want, I can give a little advice from another territorial person who kind of Epic Failed at living with her boyfriend (though we hadn't been together nearly as long as you two). If you'd rather not hear it -- I'm well aware that advice-giving can seem really freaking presumptuous -- I won't be offended if you delete this comment.

In my experience, one person moving in to another person's existing space is much, much harder than moving into a new place together. It's really, really hard going from a "housemate" situation to a romantic one sometimes, because suddenly they're in your bedroom with you too and you can't help but feel you've lost your refuge.

With that it mind, I highly recommend you set boundaries from the outset. Make sure you have a special place, just yours, that you can retreat to when you're feeling anti-social, and have some way of non-offensively but clearly letting him know when those times are. For example "If I'm in the snake room, and the door is closed, knock before you enter if you have something to tell me" etc.

I would also make a clear chores schedule. Sounds childish, but I've seen inequitable chore distribution kill almost as many shack-up/marriage relationships as money problems. Best to have that all ironed out BEFORE it becomes a point of pain.

I think if you take these things into account, though, y'all should do ok. It's not like you don't already know and love each other, after all.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Axe and I bought a house that we could convert into two separate apartments. Six years later the construction still isn't done and there are days when I could cheerfully kill him and bury the body under the railroad tracks just to get some damn privacy.

...

[siamang.livejournal.com]

Ballsy move and I think you'll wind up not regretting it since you're smart enough to do it right.

[aprilrobin.livejournal.com]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL, maybe you guys can each have your own room in the house. You can have Todd's old room and the Engineer can have the closet - it's livable.

[dabble.livejournal.com]

I think this is amazing and scary. I think it will be okay.