you will love it with extra road trip

[thejunipertree]

Too much to really condense into a nice short post, detailing my adventures over the past week. Let's just say these few things:

* I hate Ohio.
* I hate Indiania.
* I really fucking hate Illinois.
* While we're on the subject of pillars of hate, I also hate the Pennsylvania Turnpike.
* there's a road in Ohio called "Fangboner". I shit you not.
* seeing that at three in the morning causes much hilarity.
* I probably shouldn't drive for long distances ever again.
* "You know, Tara. You really do drive like a bat out of hell."
* Howard Johnson franchises are the fucking DEVIL.
* I am most likely going to hell for the majority of things which have come out of my mouth in the past four days.
* Emergency Defillabrators are not meant to be stolen. They're also very hard to pronounce.
* I probably shouldn't ever again leave a message on the Engineer's answering machine saying that Thee Pumpkin Girl and Carrie stole one, now we're on the lam from the law, and I'll call him again from Topeka.
* There is a certain je ne c'est whatever about peeling yourself off of a leather seat, after driving for six hours straight.
* SHUT UP, SLUT!
* I do not care to belong to a group of stupid, humble whores with dirty snatches.
* I spent ten dollars in quarters trying to get a stuffed goat out of a claw machine at a rest stop in Pennsylvania. Fifty cents a try. You do the math.
* "Red Bull puts the A back in SMART."
* I can indeed survive on nothing but Slim Jims, candy bars, and diet Coke for days at a time. However, driving while eating Corn Nuts is probably not the wisest of ideas.
* I gots my Carrie home again. *love*
* Robin killed Christ. It's true.
* COME ON, YA'LL! IT'S TIME TO GET NICE!

Comments

[zentariana.livejournal.com]

when we moved from oklahoma to north carolina, our power steering went out. so. we got stuck at a howard johnson hotel for a bit. and i have to concur with you. i don't know what it is about them, but whatever it is, it's bad. we all agree, so it is fact. everytime we drove by one after that me and mom would yell "ack! ho jo! noooo!" :)

From my trip to Chicago

[ninjalicious.livejournal.com]

After much praying and rejecting of evil ways, g0d answered my plea. Here we see the sky darkening as he gets ready to smite the evil known to most as.. Toledo. Moments later the Four Flashy Headlights of the Apocalypse came down with great anger and furious wrathness. And afterwards, g0d's promise never to make another Toledo, ever again.