(no subject)
May. 13th, 2004 08:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thejunipertreeThis is more for my benefit, then anything. I need to have all of this written out so I can organize my thoughts.
-----------------
I am just so fucking tired, it's not even funny.
Every spare moment I've had this week has been dedicated to ferreting out information to help my mother's situation. What is the situation, you ask? Well, let me lay it out for you.
My mother was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in June 2002. She went on short term disability for six months, when the disability ran out, she was forced to go back to work. During that six months, she went through twenty rounds of intensive chemotherapy.
Some time after she returned to work, it was decided that she should undergo radiation therapy. So, she did thirty days of radiation, during which she also received a continuous low level chemo feed.
Around late November/early December of 2003, her boss decided that it was time to start laying people off. Being the benevolent soul he is (*snort*), he gave her the option of either accepting the lay-off or getting her doctor to sign her out on short term disability again. Since she needed health insurance coverage, she opted for the short term disability route.
Now it's the beginning of May and her short term disability is about to run out again (remember, it's only for six months). And we're faced with some very difficult situations to muddle through.
1. Once she finishes this spate of disability, she would be expected to go back to work. However, she's in no shape to do so. Therefore, she will lose her health insurance because she won't technically be employed with that company any longer. So, problem #1 is no health insurance. No money to pay for her chemo treatments and numerous prescriptions.
2. She's applied for Social Security disability (SSD), which is only given to people who fall under a very specific criteria. What this criteria actually is, I haven't the foggiest notion. However, you do have to be expected to be disabled for over one year or have your disability end in death. It is notoriously difficult to be accepted for SSD. Many people are denied for ridiculous reasons, though most of them hire lawyers for an appeal. Oh, and even if you are accepted for SSD, it can take up to six months to get it. Problem #2 is waiting for SSD/not getting SSD at all. No money to pay her rent and bills (I can cover mine and my brother can cover his, but we just barely squeak by).
3. She has an extreme hernia that causes her to have enormous amounts of pain, which affects whether or not she eats. Not eating has caused her weight to drop to 108 pounds. You heard me right. One hundred and eight. When all of this started in June 2002, she weighed around 176. The hernia needs to be surgically fixed. But, because of how bad it actually is (it's huge), her recovery time would be lengthened. Not to mention that she's in no condition to withstand a very intensive surgery right now because of her weight and general weakness. Problem #3, the hernia.
4. As I wrote in my journal the other day, the oncologist told us that because of the new spots in her liver, lungs, and bladder, if she does not go through chemotherapy again (and posthaste), she has months to live. Months. As in, less than a year. However, she's in no condition to go through chemotherapy. Her weight, may I remind you again, is 108 pounds. To go through chemo she has to get stronger and gain some weight. Problem #4, chemo.
4a. (This is where it gets a bit tricky.) To go through chemo, my mom has to gain weight. But because of the hernia, she has a lot of difficulty eating. To have the hernia fixed, she has to gain weight. Now, say she actually does gain enough weight and is feeling a bit stronger. Does she get the hernia surgery first, so she's not in pain, before she goes through chemo? Or does she go through the chemo first, build herself back up from that, and then get the hernia fixed? It's half a dozen of one, six of the other. If she goes for the hernia surgery first, she runs the risk of actually becoming sicker due to the pressing need for chemo within the next few months. But, if she does chemo first, she's very likely to not bounce back from it because of being weakened from the chemo and weakened from the hernia. Problem #5, chemo vs. hernia surgery.
5. Say she does actually get accepted for SSD, she won't have health insurance for two years. She needs (is there another word that means REALLY FUCKING NEEDS, like beyond needs?) coverage to handle any of the health issues, be they chemo or hernia surgery. Not to mention the slew of medication she has to take, which is rather expensive when you don't have a prescription plan. Medicaid is an option, however one must (again) meet a very narrow criteria to be accepted. And I have a feeling that they are not going to like the fact that my brother and I both work. And that they'll decide we make TOO MUCH money for her to receive Medicaid. We can't lie to Medicaid and say that one of doesn't live here, because our mother has to show cancelled rent checks to welfare and SSD and they're going to want to know why her portion of the rent only equals a third. Problem #6, Medicaid.
--------------
Needless to say, the past week has been hellish. I have used every keyword combination humanly possible in Google to get information on assistance with our problems. I've come across some very valuable resources (like the Patients Advocate Organization and Cancer Care, Inc.), but there doesn't seem to be any kind of program in our state, much less this country, that serves as a safety net for people who are suffering from cancer. I've read innumerable messages on so many message boards from people who are in the exact same situation, that I haven't even bothered to post my own query because there just doesn't seem to be any kind of definitive answer.
The other day, I had the idea that I could solicit some sort of fund raising activity/charity from various groups in my area. I've already started the ball rolling with that by approaching Miss Rowan's husband, Ellis, who is an officer in a Masonic lodge and The Engineer, who is a fledgling mason in a lodge closer to us. Masons give millions of dollars in charity every year. They told me that each lodge master can give a hundred dollars without even approaching the rest of the lodge first. And if they ask the other lodge members, they can give up to three hundred. After that, they can approach the district lodge that governs each county. They could even possibly hold a fundraiser for her.
I'm going to draft a letter and send it out to every single fraternal organization in my area (and the surrounding areas). All of them. Explaining the situation and desperately hope that someone decides to help. If I could, at the very least, get her portion of the rent paid for a year, that would be fabulous ($2976.00, I calculated it). If I could manage to also have her bankruptcy payment paid for a whole year, that would be even better (that brings the total to just under five grand). I'm also going to bring it up to the MWC (the pagan discussion group I belong to), to see if they can spread the word to any of their contacts and possibly wrangle help from any of the pagan organizations around here. Though I'm not banking on that, because getting pagans to do anything all at the same time is a lot like herding ferrets (most people say cats, but I strongly believe that those people, unlike myself, have never tried to herd a business of ferrets).
If anyone reading this has any other ideas, or any experience in dealing with matters such as this (any of it, whether it be SSD or Medicaid or welfare or health insurance or charity or fundraising), please contact me through email (if you have it) or my LJ. I would be infinitely grateful and welcome any suggestions.
-----------------
I am just so fucking tired, it's not even funny.
Every spare moment I've had this week has been dedicated to ferreting out information to help my mother's situation. What is the situation, you ask? Well, let me lay it out for you.
My mother was diagnosed with Stage IV colon cancer in June 2002. She went on short term disability for six months, when the disability ran out, she was forced to go back to work. During that six months, she went through twenty rounds of intensive chemotherapy.
Some time after she returned to work, it was decided that she should undergo radiation therapy. So, she did thirty days of radiation, during which she also received a continuous low level chemo feed.
Around late November/early December of 2003, her boss decided that it was time to start laying people off. Being the benevolent soul he is (*snort*), he gave her the option of either accepting the lay-off or getting her doctor to sign her out on short term disability again. Since she needed health insurance coverage, she opted for the short term disability route.
Now it's the beginning of May and her short term disability is about to run out again (remember, it's only for six months). And we're faced with some very difficult situations to muddle through.
1. Once she finishes this spate of disability, she would be expected to go back to work. However, she's in no shape to do so. Therefore, she will lose her health insurance because she won't technically be employed with that company any longer. So, problem #1 is no health insurance. No money to pay for her chemo treatments and numerous prescriptions.
2. She's applied for Social Security disability (SSD), which is only given to people who fall under a very specific criteria. What this criteria actually is, I haven't the foggiest notion. However, you do have to be expected to be disabled for over one year or have your disability end in death. It is notoriously difficult to be accepted for SSD. Many people are denied for ridiculous reasons, though most of them hire lawyers for an appeal. Oh, and even if you are accepted for SSD, it can take up to six months to get it. Problem #2 is waiting for SSD/not getting SSD at all. No money to pay her rent and bills (I can cover mine and my brother can cover his, but we just barely squeak by).
3. She has an extreme hernia that causes her to have enormous amounts of pain, which affects whether or not she eats. Not eating has caused her weight to drop to 108 pounds. You heard me right. One hundred and eight. When all of this started in June 2002, she weighed around 176. The hernia needs to be surgically fixed. But, because of how bad it actually is (it's huge), her recovery time would be lengthened. Not to mention that she's in no condition to withstand a very intensive surgery right now because of her weight and general weakness. Problem #3, the hernia.
4. As I wrote in my journal the other day, the oncologist told us that because of the new spots in her liver, lungs, and bladder, if she does not go through chemotherapy again (and posthaste), she has months to live. Months. As in, less than a year. However, she's in no condition to go through chemotherapy. Her weight, may I remind you again, is 108 pounds. To go through chemo she has to get stronger and gain some weight. Problem #4, chemo.
4a. (This is where it gets a bit tricky.) To go through chemo, my mom has to gain weight. But because of the hernia, she has a lot of difficulty eating. To have the hernia fixed, she has to gain weight. Now, say she actually does gain enough weight and is feeling a bit stronger. Does she get the hernia surgery first, so she's not in pain, before she goes through chemo? Or does she go through the chemo first, build herself back up from that, and then get the hernia fixed? It's half a dozen of one, six of the other. If she goes for the hernia surgery first, she runs the risk of actually becoming sicker due to the pressing need for chemo within the next few months. But, if she does chemo first, she's very likely to not bounce back from it because of being weakened from the chemo and weakened from the hernia. Problem #5, chemo vs. hernia surgery.
5. Say she does actually get accepted for SSD, she won't have health insurance for two years. She needs (is there another word that means REALLY FUCKING NEEDS, like beyond needs?) coverage to handle any of the health issues, be they chemo or hernia surgery. Not to mention the slew of medication she has to take, which is rather expensive when you don't have a prescription plan. Medicaid is an option, however one must (again) meet a very narrow criteria to be accepted. And I have a feeling that they are not going to like the fact that my brother and I both work. And that they'll decide we make TOO MUCH money for her to receive Medicaid. We can't lie to Medicaid and say that one of doesn't live here, because our mother has to show cancelled rent checks to welfare and SSD and they're going to want to know why her portion of the rent only equals a third. Problem #6, Medicaid.
--------------
Needless to say, the past week has been hellish. I have used every keyword combination humanly possible in Google to get information on assistance with our problems. I've come across some very valuable resources (like the Patients Advocate Organization and Cancer Care, Inc.), but there doesn't seem to be any kind of program in our state, much less this country, that serves as a safety net for people who are suffering from cancer. I've read innumerable messages on so many message boards from people who are in the exact same situation, that I haven't even bothered to post my own query because there just doesn't seem to be any kind of definitive answer.
The other day, I had the idea that I could solicit some sort of fund raising activity/charity from various groups in my area. I've already started the ball rolling with that by approaching Miss Rowan's husband, Ellis, who is an officer in a Masonic lodge and The Engineer, who is a fledgling mason in a lodge closer to us. Masons give millions of dollars in charity every year. They told me that each lodge master can give a hundred dollars without even approaching the rest of the lodge first. And if they ask the other lodge members, they can give up to three hundred. After that, they can approach the district lodge that governs each county. They could even possibly hold a fundraiser for her.
I'm going to draft a letter and send it out to every single fraternal organization in my area (and the surrounding areas). All of them. Explaining the situation and desperately hope that someone decides to help. If I could, at the very least, get her portion of the rent paid for a year, that would be fabulous ($2976.00, I calculated it). If I could manage to also have her bankruptcy payment paid for a whole year, that would be even better (that brings the total to just under five grand). I'm also going to bring it up to the MWC (the pagan discussion group I belong to), to see if they can spread the word to any of their contacts and possibly wrangle help from any of the pagan organizations around here. Though I'm not banking on that, because getting pagans to do anything all at the same time is a lot like herding ferrets (most people say cats, but I strongly believe that those people, unlike myself, have never tried to herd a business of ferrets).
If anyone reading this has any other ideas, or any experience in dealing with matters such as this (any of it, whether it be SSD or Medicaid or welfare or health insurance or charity or fundraising), please contact me through email (if you have it) or my LJ. I would be infinitely grateful and welcome any suggestions.
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-13 06:43 pm (UTC)i totally understand the shit you guys are going thru.
as far as the SSD/SSI, all i can say is
the only thing to do (short of hiring a
lawyer) is to keep applying. my sister,
who was in a wheelchair @ the time, was
turned down 3 or 4 times b4 they finally
approved her. they do pay retroactive but
thats no help now.
have you tried catholic social services?
or maybe another church-based charity?
they can sometimes help. also, hospices
are good places to check for info.
theres also the karmanos foundation.
in the meantime, i think a fundraiser
is an awesome idea! you can also check
with any local non-profit organizations
& see if they would consider making your
mom a beneficiary.
if you need ANY help, please dont hesitate to ask me.
:)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 06:12 am (UTC)What do you mean by asking if a local non-profit would take on my mom as a beneficiary? Can you tell me more about that?
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 01:49 pm (UTC)in money specifically to donate to charities.
(i think anyway).
the company i work for is one.
they get donations, have fundraisers
& end up giving all the money (left over
after costs) to whatever charities they
choose. this year, the turning point
shelter for battered women, shamrock
camp for kids with terminal illnesses
& the MI-COPS foundation are the ones
that will be getting the $$.
id just do a google search with the name
of the town you live in and the words 'non profit'
and see what comes up. checking the phonebook
for non-profit might work too.
pretty much any church will have some kind
of charity assosicated with it. i just mentioned
catholics cause they often have reps stationed
in offices @ the hospitals full time.
& as for the ensure, oh god is that stuff bad.
if theres any way you guys can afford it, give
her something else. ..milkshakes with extra
protein powder or anything but ensure. i know
a lot of drs recommend it but they shouldnt:
its so awful. its practically straight up oil.
:(
here is a link to a recipe for brasco broth.
its what my sister ate when she couldnt keep
anything else down & was vomiting & shitting blood.
its a little pricey to make but will do your mom
a lot more good in the long run than ensure.
(we didnt use the structured water concentrate
cause it was just toooooo expensive but it still
worked fine).
:)
good luck
*hug*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-15 01:44 pm (UTC)catholics cause they often have reps stationed
in offices @ the hospitals full time.
Yeah, everybody keeps suggesting hitting up the Catholic Church. There's a lot of them in my area, too.
& as for the ensure, oh god is that stuff bad.
if theres any way you guys can afford it, give
her something else. ..milkshakes with extra
protein powder or anything but ensure. i know
a lot of drs recommend it but they shouldnt:
its so awful. its practically straight up oil.
Which is most likely part of what makes her sick whenever she drinks the damn stuff. Ick. I think I'm going to start making her drink that Carnation stuff with an egg in it (my friend, Rowan, had suggested that) and maybe look into protein shakes and suchlike.
its what my sister ate when she couldnt keep
anything else down & was vomiting & shitting blood.
its a little pricey to make but will do your mom
a lot more good in the long run than ensure.
(we didnt use the structured water concentrate
cause it was just toooooo expensive but it still
worked fine).
What did your sister have, to cause her to do that, if you don't mind me asking?
Did you puree the ingredients, like the website suggests, or did you leave them whole? I'm wondering which is the best route to take with that.
Thanks again, miss. You've been an enormous help.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-15 03:05 pm (UTC)more than enough damage to more
than enough ppl so they do a lot
of charity to help balance it out
(too bad tho cause if they dont
start actually getting rid of
their child molesting priests,
it never will).
pureeing the broth is mostly up
to you. if you think she could
eat & digest it best that way,
go for it. i know my mom did @
first but now when we make it,
we leave everything whole
(& boy is it delicious!)
:D
my sister has rheumatoid arthritis
(or however the hell you spell that)
& it wasnt the sickness that got her
so fucked up, it was the meds.
she was on everything & anything
& nothing was doing any good. she
just kept getting sicker & sicker
& there was a point where i thought
i was just going to have to deal with
the fact that she was going to die
from it.
then she umm i dont know...kinda flipped out.
got sick of being sick & quit taking ALL her
meds & went 100% natural. did an elimination
diet, started taking massive amounts of vitamins
& supplements & believe it or not, started not
only getting *better* but getting HEALTHY.
it wasnt easy and it was expensive as fucking hell.
(medicaid/medicare do not cover one single cent of
any type of natural medicine whatsoever). there was
a lot of trial & error & we made some very expensive
mistakes but in the long run, she is a million times
better than she ever was b4. her diet is drastically
changed & she still has to take supplements but not
quite so many as she did @ first.
this was a HUGE hardship for us cause my mom
wasnt working & on disability too. none of it
was cheap & we all had to contribute pretty much
every cent we made to getting her well. it was
really fucking tough (but totally worth it).
now, not only does she hardly have any
of the symptoms of the RA, she walks again,
shes REGROWN cartilige in her hip (something
the drs said was IMPOSSIBLE) & shes the healthiest
person i know. shes kind of a pain in my ass
sometimes about the way i eat (im not nearly
as disciplined as she is) but its ok. its what
keeps her out of the wheelchair.
the medical system in this country makes
me sick. you dont even want to get me started
on that shit. its all about business & the drug
companies & the ppl who grow & make our food
getting together to keep us sick & dependant
on their products. if i could, id go live on
another planet.
did you know its actually ILLEGAL to treat some
forms of cancer with holistic medicine in this country?
if you email me your shipping addy,
i have a book id like to send you guys.
:)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-13 07:28 pm (UTC)http://www.modestneeds.org/
I don't know what sort of respose you'll get, but there's more info there that may help you. I'll ask around at work (I work at a non-profit hospital) to see if anyone has suggestions. E-mail me if you can at prgrmr@aol.com. If you can tell me what facility your mom is getting treatment at, I can ask our philanthropy office if they have any contacts there and see what they can find out for options for getting treatment for your mom.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 06:14 am (UTC)My email has been funky like a funky thing, lately. So, I'll just tell you the facility here. It's the Center for Oncology and Hemotological Disease in Marlton, NJ. There's a slew of doctors there, but we usually only deal with Dr. Kesselheim or Dr. Siegel.
Thanks, mister.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-13 10:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 06:14 am (UTC)When are you next available to come visit?
My thoughts on the Subject...
Date: 2004-05-13 10:43 pm (UTC)First and foremost, A seperate checking account should be opened, this way if people wish to make donations, it can go directly into that account alone. (this way, also, if some people wish to any type of fund raising it would go there as well)
As for fund raising, I am sure there are a ton of things we can look into. I am not sure exactly about how we could do it legitmately (but I do know people who do non profit stuff, so I am sure I can ask, and I am sure sicne the masons do a lot of charity work as well, they can probably do the same)
You can also do something like making dolls/knitting and the like where the profits go to all of this. I am sure some of us would be more than happy to contribute to the cause, by donating art and the like to it. Sell it on Ebay or put up a website for it. And use the seperate checking account for paypal and the like. We know enough talented people who I am sure who would be willing to donate time/talent to all of this. It is just a matter of asking, which I know it is something you are not good at (the asking for help thing..)
I am sure if you also go to the american cancer society thing, they may be able to help.
And on a slightly less legal note.. Have you thought about using pot for medicinal purposes on your mom? It may help increase her apptitie/ and decrease the pain. I know it works every well with paitents who undergo chemo.
So yeah.. that is all I ahve to say about that.
~jennie gump.
Re: My thoughts on the Subject...
Date: 2004-05-14 06:25 am (UTC)Yeah, I've thought of this before, but completely forgot to bring it up to my mother the other night. It would definitely help to have all charity/fundraising stuff separate from her regular account.
As for fund raising, I am sure there are a ton of things we can look into. I am not sure exactly about how we could do it legitmately (but I do know people who do non profit stuff, so I am sure I can ask, and I am sure sicne the masons do a lot of charity work as well, they can probably do the same)
For legitimate fund-raising, I'd have to get a permit. One of the ideas that Rowan gave me was to do this thing called a basket of cheer. It's where you get a bunch of people to each donate a bottle of liquor, then raffle off tickets for people to win the booze booty. All money from the raffle goes to my mom's bills.
She also suggested a 50/50, which is when you sell raffle tickets and whoever has the winning ticket gets half of the money earned from selling tickets. The other half goes towards whoever the raffle was being done for. Usually, the winner will just donate what they won right back to the person, but not always. And I'd be afraid of that happening.
You can also do something like making dolls/knitting and the like where the profits go to all of this.
I've thought of similar things, also. However, my dolls take an enormous amount of time to complete. And that's with me working on them continually over days and days. I no longer have the time or energy to undertake something of that scope. As for knitting, well, I am the SLOWEST knitter in the world. heh. I'd be willing to do something with other people involved, if people wanted to do that, but I just don't have the time or energy anymore to dedicate to making my own. I could probably put up a couple things I've already made, though there are many anymore.
It's still a very good idea, though.
I am sure if you also go to the american cancer society thing, they may be able to help.
Called them yesterday, when I was at work. The lady gave me a slew of phone numbers. Like the Patient Advocate Organization and Medicaid and Hill Burton. But, gave me no real help. I was a bit put off by the entire conversation, personally. I'll probably try them again today or tomorrow, see if I can talk to someone else.
Have you thought about using pot for medicinal purposes on your mom?
Ever since this entire thing started, two years ago, Todd and I have been campaigning for her to smoke pot. We're met with quite a lot of stubbornness. She doesn't like getting high or how it smells. The other night, when we had our discussion with her, we really pulled out the big guns on her. And I think I may have worn her down enough that she'll eat brownies, if I make them for her. But, it's still kind of touch and go.
She's been prescribed Marinol, however, to help with the appetite thing. She took one last night, but it didn't appear to do anything. So, I may have the doctor up the dosage.
Thanks for all your help, miss.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 12:33 am (UTC)Is it solid food that she has a hard time with or is it everything? can she keep down Ensure & shit like that? I suggest trying to get some weight on her any way you can, bc regardless of what you do first, that weight's gonna make it hard. Also, can you get her medical marijuana in your state? That might help.
We got accepted for SSD on the first try, but we had to jump thru hoops for it. I've been told a lot of it depends on what your Dr. has to say. talk to your Dr. I don't fucking understand how they can turn her down.
My friend
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 06:34 am (UTC)It's everything, not just solid foods. When she first got sick, back in 2002, we were having her drink Ensure. She stopped drinking it then because she was back in shape and doing okay. Now that this is going on, I bought her more (the weight gain kind) and she drank it for a little bit, but it makes her incredibly constipated. TMI, I know.
Also, can you get her medical marijuana in your state? That might help.
I don't think NJ does medical marijuana. The doctor wrote her out a script for Marinol, but so far, it doesn't appear to be doing much for her. I can very easily get her marijuana of the non-medical sort, but she's not very keen on the idea of smoking it. The comment I left to Chicanerys_Muse details that whole spectacle.
We got accepted for SSD on the first try, but we had to jump thru hoops for it. I've been told a lot of it depends on what your Dr. has to say. talk to your Dr. I don't fucking understand how they can turn her down.
The Dr. doesn't seem concerned that she won't get accepted for SSD, but I'm afraid they'll turn her down because my brother and I also live there. I make $9.00 an hour and he only makes slightly more then that. And I've read so many other people's stories about how they were turned down for similar reasons. It just makes me scared.
My friend d_r_o_n_e raffled off a quilt last year & donated the proceed to an MS charity. You should go poke her about it. Maybe we can do something similar? See if you can get your art homies donate stuff for a raffle.
Do you know if she had to get a permit for that raffle? Chicanerys_Muse brought up something similar. I'm interested in doing something of that nature, but between work (which just my regular schedule is 50 hours a week, then I have massive amounts of overtime) and taking care of my mom, I don't have any time or energy to work on any of my projects (which upsets me on numerous levels, I haven't done shit for MONTHS).
Also, can I link to this? Maybe some ppl on my list have ideas or would be willing to help you guys out some way.
Link away, Miss J.
Thank you for everything.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 07:10 pm (UTC)I'd offer to organise some stuff, but I'm thinking it would porbably be better done by someone more local. I will, however, be willing to donate some jewelry & stuff that I make to any ebay auction or raffle that gets worked out. I will also help get the word out & link to any paypal donation thingie you get, once that's set up. As your miss robin said, if we can get a buncha ppl to send you $5, that could help a LOT.
Since the quilt raffle went thru an already established charity, my friend did not need a permit, so it's a different situation.
You've got a lot of ppl who want to make this less sucky for you guys. I think we can get something figured out.
big love to you.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-15 01:47 pm (UTC)Thank you so, so much. For everything you're doing.
Do you think I should really set up a Paypal thing? Are people receptive to that or do they tend to automatically think it's shady business?
You've got a lot of ppl who want to make this less sucky for you guys. I think we can get something figured out.
Everytime I open my email and see the responses I'm getting, I'm amazed. It baffles me, truly.
Much love, Miss J.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 04:42 am (UTC)*multiple hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 06:39 am (UTC)What's a service fraternity?
most firehouses won't charge much for the space and I'm sure that we all can handle the food and drink and once every one knows that its for your Mom, it'll work
Yeah, Miss Rowan had suggested doing a spaghetti dinner or something similar, since it was so cheap to do. The masons may even be willing to sponser some kind of fundraiser of this nature, so I may not even have to put any money out for it. But, I'm not sure. I'm still waiting on hearing from the two lodges and I haven't yet sent out my letters.
you should email me your work number, so that we can talk, okay...and I mean today...hang in there
I don't have your email address on this computer. However, I'll create a separate filter for you on LJ and put my phone number into an entry, so only you can see it. When you call, don't let them put you into my voice mail. Because it doesn't exist and they don't seem able to grasp this notion. If I'm unavailable, just try calling back in ten or twenty minutes.
Thanks, lady.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 06:59 am (UTC)I've already done some calling around this morning and you're right, a lot of these organizations aren't giving the type of help you need...I just checked out the NJ state website...there is state disability that your Mom would probably qualify for...they actually describe it as being quickly paid out, so this might be a viable option for the immediate future...there's no way that Mom can work like this and since the illness wasn't caused by the job, she should qualify...check it out...
http://www.state.nj.us/labor/tdi/tdiindex.html
umm, as far as fund raisers, I'm sure that everyone would be into doing their respective crafts and selling it on Ebay or something of the sort...I hear you, it's hard because some of these crafts take a bit to do...(I'm also a slow knitter), but there are easier, smaller crafts that we all could put together...a free space that we might be able to use to that end is the Rotunda in Philly...its in West Philly, sponsored by Penn, but free...we could probably have a "free" concert (no admission to get in, but donations accepted) and have a table to sell crafts and whatever else we can scrounge up...
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 07:11 am (UTC)I must have lost those memory files in the fire, because I sure can't remember anything about that!
we are quite the motivated little group and being alum, I can call on the brothers whenever needed...and I will!
Thank you, I'd appreciate that. Any help is good help.
there is state disability that your Mom would probably qualify for...
Yeah, I went to the link you provided and that's the temporary disability that she's on right now. You only get it for six months and she's coming up on her last check from them. After you get it for six months, you have to wait a length of time before you can reapply (I think it's a year, but I might be wrong).
a free space that we might be able to use to that end is the Rotunda in Philly...its in West Philly, sponsored by Penn, but free...we could probably have a "free" concert (no admission to get in, but donations accepted) and have a table to sell crafts and whatever else we can scrounge up...
That's a good idea, too.
We definitely need to discuss this further. I'm having other sorts of ideas beginning to ping around in my skull.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 06:35 am (UTC)We went through the fundraising stuff the other night, but approaching Catholic Charities and other religious based charity groups is a good idea. An "event" can be a hard sell, as we discussed, but it's not impossible...
I'm going to take a look at my jewelry and some other collectible stuff I have and see if anything is drawing any money on Ebay. If I can hawk some stuff there, the money is yours.
Hang in there sweetie...you have a huge support network and we're all here for you, in one way or another.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 06:45 am (UTC)I'm not sure if Ensure makes something without added iron, but I can try checking. The Carnation Instant idea is a good one, though. Especially since now I've got her taking Lactaid pills (she's lactose intolerant). Chocolate milkshakes seem to be one of the few things she gets interested in lately.
has she tried wearing some kind of light weight, control top pantyhose thing or a light girdle to help hold the hernia in?
No, wearing anything contricting like that actually makes things worse. Any pressure on the hernia hurts like the devil, so she's been sticking to loose pajama bottoms.
I'm going to take a look at my jewelry and some other collectible stuff I have and see if anything is drawing any money on Ebay. If I can hawk some stuff there, the money is yours.
Oh, oh jeeze.
I don't even know what to say to that. It's probably a good thing that this is all being doing through LJ because I'll start fucking crying.
Thank you so, so much.
you have a huge support network and we're all here for you, in one way or another.
I don't think I ever realized how big of a network it really is, until now. You guys amaze me.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 08:48 am (UTC)Geez, I'm so not good at certain things, expressing a level or depth of caring is one of my many faults, but kiddo, I love you. There, now cry if you want to.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-15 01:49 pm (UTC)Whenever I cry, I feel like I'm admitting defeat. A long time ago, I had an in-depth conversation with the Engineer and I told him the same thing. Crying, to me at least, usually equals giving up. A sign of weakness.
I know it doesn't actually MEAN that, but it's what's ingrained in me. I think I need to work on that.
I love you, too.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 07:41 am (UTC)Yard sale maybe?
I know I have a bunch of stuff I could stand to get rid of ... maybe my parents too.
If we got everyone to drag their stuff to once spot it could possibly be really worth it.
All that stuff that is too big or not worth selling on ebay because it's not "collectable" can still rake in some cash. Who doesn't have stuff that they need to get rid of?
If you're interested, I could ask my folks if we could do it right on Main street in Medford... probaby the best visbility.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 07:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 08:29 am (UTC)Kyle also mentioned possibly setting up a benefit show if he could. He said he'd talk to some people. Nothing to count on .. but an interesting idea.
How about a web page? I'll host it. Got a paypal address?
I mean shit ... if over the internet, between all ouf our friends lists, sending the links to people at work, etc. If we just got 200 to donate $5 ... that's $1,000.
I think we could do that.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 08:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-15 01:51 pm (UTC)A very interesting idea, especially given how big his band is getting. I would be in debt to him forever if he could swing something like that.
How about a web page? I'll host it. Got a paypal address?
I mean shit ... if over the internet, between all ouf our friends lists, sending the links to people at work, etc. If we just got 200 to donate $5 ... that's $1,000.
A webpage for all of this would be good, too. It would be something a lot easier to show to people instead of a thread on my journal.
Thank you, Miss R. We'll talk more tonight.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 12:37 pm (UTC)FYI
Date: 2004-05-14 11:02 am (UTC)Re: FYI
Date: 2004-05-15 01:52 pm (UTC)Oh, Camden County Board of Social Services? Do I have that right?
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 07:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-15 01:53 pm (UTC)Thank you, miss.
I'll do a Google search on them shortly.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-14 07:53 pm (UTC)Ditto on non-profits. There are a bunch of private foundations around to whom you can appeal. It's a lot of letter writing, for sure, but it can produce good results.
Contact a local auction house and talk to them about whether they'd do a charity auction in conjunction with your local cancer society? Artists are usually quite happy to donate to that kind of thing.
I may have 2 pennies to rub together after June and will be happy to help if I can.
Ummm, have you tried the Osbournes?
". . . in July 2002, [Sharon Osbourne's] hectic life was thrown a huge curve when she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She allowed the cameras to keep rolling as she dealt with chemotherapy so more light could be shed on the disease. The Sharon Osbourne Colon Cancer Foundation is now raising funds to provide free screenings and healthcare for those who cannot afford it."
Sharon Osbourne Colon Cancer Fund
8491 Sunset Blvd. #770
West Hollywood, CA 90069
Another list of resources:
http://cis.nci.nih.gov/fact/8_3.htm
Oh, and *hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-15 01:59 pm (UTC)It's a very shady company, if you ask me. And the CEO is a schmuck who does very shitty things to his employees (like taking away bereavement pay completely). I can still look into it, however. Maybe he's gotten a good dose of conscience since I spoke to him last.
I may have 2 pennies to rub together after June and will be happy to help if I can.
Thank you. I really appreciate all of this.
Ummm, have you tried the Osbournes?
Dang, I can't believe I didn't think of that! When things first started to go bad, I had made a joke about contacting Sharon Osbourne. But, it was really just a joke. I never knew she had set up a fund for things like this.
A month or so ago, my mother had been invited to be on her show. They were featuring colon cancer people who belong to the Cancer Survivor's Network. But, my mom wasn't up to flying out there.
Thank you so much, again.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-15 06:46 am (UTC)definitely you need a lawyer. I would contact your local bar association
http://www.njsba.com/lawyer_referral/
or check if your county has a volunteer association:
http://www.abanet.org/legalservices/probono/directory/newjersey.html
to see if you can find someone who will help you pro bono. at the very least a consultation to tell you what your options are.
you should find out about getting your mother's assets placed in trust, and/or placing any donation money received in trust for her care so that she is a) better qualified for Medicaid (i.e., the trust pays her rent, etc.) & b) you/she don't end up owing taxes on any money received as a gift for her care. if you get money before you can get a trust set up, definitely place it in a separate bank account so that you at least have the paper trail.
http://www.catholiccharitiesinfo.org/states/NJ.htm - i third/fourth/fifth the idea of talking to your local chapter of catholic charities. they're v. active in NJ and have some of the best resources & experience. CC may also be able to provide you with legal resources.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-15 02:02 pm (UTC)I'm extremely law-retarded. What does pro bono mean?
I had thought about getting a lawyer, but didn't really know what kind of good it would do us. Or how much it would cost me.
you should find out about getting your mother's assets placed in trust, and/or placing any donation money received in trust for her care so that she is a) better qualified for Medicaid (i.e., the trust pays her rent, etc.) & b) you/she don't end up owing taxes on any money received as a gift for her care. if you get money before you can get a trust set up, definitely place it in a separate bank account so that you at least have the paper trail.
That's an extremely good idea and something I haven't thought of before. I was going to open her a separate bank account for all of this going on, but wasn't sure how a trust would work into it.
Thank you!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-17 12:37 pm (UTC)i would definitely try to wrangle at least a consultation to see what kind of options you have for a trust so that you don't get screwed if people give you money. in general a lifetime trust might be the way to go for your mom's assets - that's what we did for my grandmother when we were trying to get medicaid to pay for her healthcare (which worked).
my mom has a lot of exp. with this kind of thing, i will talk to her and see if she has any more suggestions.
I'm just catching up.
Date: 2004-05-15 12:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-16 12:40 am (UTC)i have to find a way to help you somehow.
more later.
hang in there tara.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-05-18 04:01 pm (UTC)