(no subject)

[thejunipertree]

So, yeah.

I'm really rather irritated right now. My car, the Black Beast of Calcutta, has recently decided that it's a grand game to just randomly lock its doors. It doesn't matter if the car is on, off, driving, whathaveyou. And once the locks are locked, it continually tries to engage them. So it clicks. This is fabulous, especially since I can't unlock the car from the driver's side and must unlock the passenger door, lean over, unlock the other door, walk around, and get in. Now, it locks itself by the time I walk back around. So, I have to slide across the seat. Which, in over 90 degree weather with leather seats, is a PARTY. Especially when I'm not wearing stockings.

Saturday night, as I was driving to Philadelphia, it also decided to turn on the heat for no reason.

Lovely, yes?

But, there's more.

Since it's randomly firing the door locks, regardless of whether the car is running or not, it's draining my battery. Or so I learned this morning when I left for work and my car wouldn't start.

Wouldn't start? It wouldn't even turn on.

I turn the key. Nothing. I turn it again. Nothing. I shout profanity at it. Nothing. I threaten it. Nothing. I plead with it. Nothing. I show it photographs of fluffy kittens and fruit baskets. Nothing.

My brother told me to pull the automatic lock fuse, but after prying off the fuse box cover and wriggling underneath the dashboard (very attractive and so easy to do when one is wearing a skirt and platforms), I can't find the proper fuse to pull. And all the while, my battery is being sucked dry.

I'll most likely have to buy a new battery, which will be a ton of fun to put in. Not to mention finding someone to put the damn thing in, since my car repairing days are OVER, my friend (that and I've never replaced a battery before).

So, I was 45 minutes late for work, covered in car gunk, and driving my mother's Malibu (which has been flashing its CHECK ENGINE light at me for longer then I care to say, this should be taken care of this week).

For those of you keeping score at home:

Cadillac - 210
Tara - 0

Comments

[ninjalicious.livejournal.com]

Fuck installation, go somewhere like Walmart or Sears for a new battery where they put it in for you.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

That means I would have to get it to Sears!

[ninjalicious.livejournal.com]

Get someone to jump you!

(Before the Engineer agrees with me again, I mean with jumper cables.)

Read this, then eat it.

[ninjalicious.livejournal.com]

Call me back! I called that # you left and totally got "And you are.....?"'d. >:O

[dartsdelight.livejournal.com]

Its like you have the car from Good Omens.....if it starts playing Queen all the time -well, you're probably a minion of Satan.

[muridae.livejournal.com]

It's really easy to install a battery, but you may not even need to buy a new one. If your battery isn't dead beyond the point of recharging, you can give your car a jumpstart and run it for a while, which should recharge the battery. If you can discover what, in the electrical system, has gone wacky, and repair it so that it no longer causes the battery to drain, it should probably be fine.

Replacing a battery is merely a matter of loosening a couple of bolts, disconnecting the contacts, removing the old battery, sitting the new battery in its place, reconnecting the contacts, and tightening the bolts. It shouldn't take even ten minutes if you have a wrench or ratchet set.

Stupid cars! Why do they have to be so much trouble?

[muridae.livejournal.com]

Oh! Also. If your battery is still okay (can take a charge) but you don't get a chance to take it to a mechanic to see what's going on with the electrical system, you should probably disconnect the battery contacts so that the electrical system isn't able to quietly sit there draining your battery power away to nothing.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

I don't know what's gone wacky in the electrical system, but as soon as I can figure out which fuse is for the auto locks, it's getting the hell pulled out of it.

Anything else involving cars, I'm fine with. But, batteries? I suppose I still have residuals floating around in my head from my father hollaring at me not to touch them when I was a wee Tara.

[rowan-1958.livejournal.com]

BTW,nice icon!

[muridae.livejournal.com]

As long as you don't touch both contacts at the same time, you won't fry! You also have to wash your hands afterwards, just in case you get any battery acid or engine grease on them, but really the battery is so easy to replace. I always thought it was scary too, but as long as you're not touching both contacts at the same time, nothing will happen to you. :)

Personally, I wouldn't try replacing the battery until I figured out what the hell was going on with the electrical system, pulled some fuses, and tried jumping the car, since you might not need a new battery at all. Yay at the thought of not having to spend money on cars. But I doubt you needed me to tell you that!

[rowan-1958.livejournal.com]

What year is the Batmobile? I wonder if the computer brain (if it has one) has gone kaflooey. The fuse thing is a good suggestion, as is disconnecting the battery, cuz the new one will get drained, too.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

It's a 85.

Computer system gone tits up?
Please don't tell me that. It'll cost
a bajillion dollars to fix and I really
don't have that kind of money right now.
*whimper*

[bestekeni.livejournal.com]

the check engine light on my dad's monstrosity has been on for almost a year now. he's taken it to the mechanic several times, and they said to just not worry about it. the car's fine.

[vivaemptiness.livejournal.com]

call me old-fashioned, but i feel like cars shouldn't make decisions, such as locking and heating, on their own. it's the whole "never trust anything if you can't see where it keeps its brain" thing.

[kriskita.livejournal.com]

spooky car. a mechanic can't help you. better get a priest.

[what-r-u-doing.livejournal.com]

if its the battery...try turning your headlamp delay switch off, instead of leaving it on the 20 minute delay...random firing locks are a connection in the door

[mrbadluck.livejournal.com]

you probably just need a jumpstart there really easy all you need is another car and a set of cables ,,if you do need to replace the battery my suggestion would be find someone with a bj's card there soooo cheap new there its not funny,,dont pay someone to change a battery in your car its .like paying someone to change tha batteries in your walkman. as for the fuse thing you can probably look up the fuse box sceme online or go the old school rout which is pull them one at a time then put bacc after trying the windowes till you pull the right one. you probably have a short in the wiring somewhere that when it rubs on something is grounding out and clicking your locks its probably in one of the dors but who is to say,,it could be anywhere,,,wiring is tedouse stuff mechanics are really expensave for electrical work but if your willing to go all out buy a chiltons manual for your car find out if the wires are a harness or just how ther run and pluck and replace em all to the doors or one by one till it stops