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I learned many things these past few days:
May. 2nd, 2004 11:52 pm1. Whenever I say I'm going to write a long update about a trip I've recently taken, it generally means that I am never going to write a long update about a trip I've recently taken. I've come to accept this.
2. If you poke at a bushel of live crabs with a pen, at least one of them will attempt to shank you.
3. Spiritual people are unreliable.
4. Microsoft is shitty and fly infested.
5. When I turn 40, my wee deformed thumbs are going to hit a sudden growth spurt and look normal.
6. The 80s fucking sucked, especially the fashion. But, not quite all of the music. Any attempted revival will be met with snide and derogatory comments.
7. Big manly men should not own cocker spaniels. Because people like me will snicker uncontrollably when we ask, "What kind of dog do you have?" and the big manly man answers, "A cocker spaniel."
8. I forget what eight is for.
9. When I am placing an order in an eatery and I specify that I would like ranch dressing on my salad, it generally means that a salad does indeed come with what I have ordered. I will point this out to my server when they bring me a dish of ranch dressing and no salad is in sight.
10. There is more than one person in this world who can break one of their own bones in their sleep. This should comfort me, but it, in fact, does not.
2. If you poke at a bushel of live crabs with a pen, at least one of them will attempt to shank you.
3. Spiritual people are unreliable.
4. Microsoft is shitty and fly infested.
5. When I turn 40, my wee deformed thumbs are going to hit a sudden growth spurt and look normal.
6. The 80s fucking sucked, especially the fashion. But, not quite all of the music. Any attempted revival will be met with snide and derogatory comments.
7. Big manly men should not own cocker spaniels. Because people like me will snicker uncontrollably when we ask, "What kind of dog do you have?" and the big manly man answers, "A cocker spaniel."
8. I forget what eight is for.
9. When I am placing an order in an eatery and I specify that I would like ranch dressing on my salad, it generally means that a salad does indeed come with what I have ordered. I will point this out to my server when they bring me a dish of ranch dressing and no salad is in sight.
10. There is more than one person in this world who can break one of their own bones in their sleep. This should comfort me, but it, in fact, does not.
