(no subject)

[thejunipertree]

I have never been so exhausted in my entire life.

Just spent just about the entire day at the nursing home. I received a phone call at about half past two in the afternoon from the head nurse, telling me to get my ass there immediately. I then tweaked and couldn't think straight enough to even speak in full sentences. My boss decided to have someone else drive me, much to my relief.

I got there and was told that they (the medical powers that be) don't think my mother is going to last past Monday. The official words were, "It could happen at any time and I would be surprised if she made it to Monday."

Many phone calls were made, siblings were summoned. Plans were also put into effect to have her transferred to the inpatient hospice facility that I had prattled about a few days ago. The one that only accepts people who have ten days or less to live. My mother's doctor put her okay on it.

In the event that she can't be in that facility, I'm still moving her somewhere. The new room she was put in at the nursing home sucks, to be quite honest. It's not private. It's small as all fucking hell. There's no phone. And it feels like a goddamn African rainforest in there, it's so hot.

It was ordered that I not go into work tomorrow. Take it from the one who was at work when she received the call her mother died. Stay home.

I don't know what's happening.
All I know that this is what Hell must feel like.

Comments

[bestekeni.livejournal.com]

I know this doesn't mean much, but I'm poking my head up to tell you that someone who you probably don't remember has been following this and cares very much.

[vivaemptiness.livejournal.com]

dude. i am so sorry to hear this turn of events. please let me know if there's anything i can do for you. i'm not that far away, even if it's something small like getting you a pack of smokes or coffee or a hug or anything: 215.888.3686

[lachupacabra.livejournal.com]

*hug*
ive been nearly where you are
right now & i know how fucking
hard it is.
you & yours are always in my best thoughts.

[rachieo.livejournal.com]

*hug*

i'm so so sorry. :(

i know there's nothing i can really say, or do from so far away, but i'm thinking about you, and your mother...and hope you can both find some peace.

[tcpip.livejournal.com]

You will make it.

At some stage, probably in the near future, your mother will pass away.

Among the grief, you will be the one who organizes what needs to be organized.

You will be the one who consoles relatives whose grief overwhelms them. You will be one who looks after the loose ends, the distribution of property and memories.

I know this because everything you have written in your journal concerning this indicates a person of enormous integrity and personal strength. You will not fail this life test.

[dabble.livejournal.com]

Fuckety.

Im glad your workplace seems to be supportive.

I hate this disgusting disease and the emotional fucking rollercoaster its putting you and your mother and your whole family through.

You are in my thoughts as always.

[mondae.livejournal.com]

You are in my thoughts, dear girl.

[missjanette.livejournal.com]

we talked earlier & you already know where I stand on all of this.

i just wanted to let you know I'll probably be around tomorrow so you can get me on AIM, call the house or call the cell. I am pretty sure you have the numbers, but I will go post them in lockdown over in my lj.

big stupid amounts of love to you.
oh, & also stuffy aliens & days that lack Low Agreeableness.

[flemco.livejournal.com]

Got ya back, homie.

Keep it together.

[rowan-1958.livejournal.com]

Sweetie, I've been meaning to talk to you about this and just can't seem to get time alone with you when we're with "the group". Have you told your mom that's it's ok for her to go? And has she had a chance to see all three of you, her children, together at the same time? Sometimes parents need to be told that you're going to be ok without them and they can let go. I *swear* my father waited until he knew there was a firm commitment between Ellis and I and that my son would be taken care of by a loving man before he, my father, passed away.

If there is ANYTHING you need, phone; in person; smokes; whatever, CALL ME. I can leave work at the drop of a hat (work - 853-3273; cell - 609-432-7604; home - 464-8572). Seriously...if you need me, call...I'll be there. And yes, now you have an inkling of what Hell must feel like, I know because I've been there, too.

[vivaemptiness.livejournal.com]

weird, that's exactly what happened when my grandparents passed away.

[serpent-sky.livejournal.com]

God, I'm so sorry... Please, please let me know if I can do anything for you. I'm thinking of you all. *hug*