(no subject)

[thejunipertree]

I have four, very basic, statements regarding this election:

1. Yes, I'm voting (actually I already did, this morning).
2. No, it's none of your business who I'm voting for.
3. Oh, you're not voting? Shut your fucking face then.
4. I don't especially like either one of those shady bastards (or any of the smaller party candidates running, for that matter).

I'm so goddamn tired of all of this. Unfortunately, I know it's not going to end any time soon. Even after tonight, after the votes have been counted, the losing side is going to be playing the "B.O.O.H.O.O. I LOST THE ELECTION AND MY FUCKING PUSSY HURTS!!!!" song for weeks to come. I dread the idea of another spectacle like the one which happened in 2000. I dread it, I tell you.

And then, on millions of messageboards and newsgroups everywhere, the armchair philosophers will start spouting the rhetoric that they originally wrote for some Advanced Dungeons and Dragons game, back in 93. Little old men, in little old man bars, will begin to fancy themselves political commentators. Young Republican girls in their clean pink skirts and freshly pressed white blouses will smile as they prettily debate welfare reform, despite the fact that they have never in their lives known anyone on welfare (let alone used it themselves). Cat fights, sissy slaps, name-calling, back-biting and "YOUR CANDIDATE SUCKS!" "NO, YOUR CANDIDATE SUCKS!" will fill the air.

Oh, wait.

That's already happening NOW.

I, however, have come up with a solution to all of this.



For all of you blathering on endlessly about the election, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you pissing and moaning about Bush=Nazi, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you upholding Bush as the second coming of a Christ who's going to save the world with his high-minded morality and spot-on flair for business, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you whining about politics, yet you've never voted in your life and you're not voting now, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you making googly fangirl eyes at Kerry, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you proclaiming that a vote for Kerry is a vote for terrorism, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you non-Americans going on and on about American politics, when you actually have no concept of what it's like to live here, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you responsible for those god-awful election commercials, especially the one about the little girl who got a hug from Bush because her Daddy died in 9/11, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you getting into nasty, unmendable fights with your friends because their political views differ from your own, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you blank eyed Young Republicans, bleating on about tougher abortion laws and moral obligation, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you Libertarian-no-wait-Democratic ship jumpers accosting business suits in Rittenhouse Park and doing more harm then good, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

For all of you who are picking this election to make your stand against a two party system by voting for Nader, here's an idea:

SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.


Hmm, I believe that's going to become my new battlecry.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TIRED OF HEARING YOUR SHIT.

huzzah!



Don't like what I've said?

Write it on your T.S. slip and send it to the chaplain, because I don't give a damn. Any arguing over any of my points will be met with my new battlecry.

And an axe planted in your pointy fucking skull.

No offense to anyone intended, but this is getting ridiculous.

I'm serious. This is not up for debate.

Comments

[etrigan.livejournal.com]

Now that Bush has won, when can we expect to become the 51st state? I know I'm tired of all this free health care.. sheesh.

Oh well, four more years of raining frogs and gay bashing... at least you live in a State that voted for Sanity.