[lwa dreams] ornaments of gold

[thejunipertree]

I stood in the doorway of his library and watched him pour over another dusty tome I'm not allowed to touch. Dim light fought to stream through the curtains, but was halted in its efforts and instead gathered in drips and drops at the edges of the heavy drapes.

"Poppet," he said without raising his head. "I would rather you not lurk around like some hungry ghost. You're free to enter here any time you should desire, you know this by now."

Quietly, I crept next to his chair and pretended to not attempt reading the book he had open in front of him. But, every time I peeped over his shoulder, the words ran together in a runny swirl of meaningless and my eyesight swam blearily. He closed the book, making his own effort to not notice me sneaking glances at the pages, and looked up at me steadily.

"You are a strong girl," he told me. "You know this, although you refuse to admit that to yourself for some unknowable reason. But, you're not strong enough to hold it all in."

I blinked, confused. "Hold what in?"

"This." He laid one hand over my heart. "And this." His hand again, barely touching my forehead.

I sank to the floor and stared numbly at my fingers and hands, then rested my head against the padded leather arm of the chair he sat in.