(no subject)
Jul. 8th, 2005 12:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thejunipertreeWell, it's that time again:
The time when I start combing Careerbuilder for new employment.
No worries at the moment from anyone, please. I am still gainfully employed. However, clouds are beginning to gather on the horizon and I've made the decision to follow the smart rats.
This is an extremely difficult decision I have made, since I've made so many great friends since I started working at this office. I don't accept change rather well on the best of days, but this is making me especially upset. We've been through so much with each other in the past year and a half, no other job will ever be quite the same.
None of us are very happy about our current working conditions. I don't talk a lot about what goes on behind our doors because I've signed a non-disclosure agreement and I take that sort of thing very seriously, but I will say that I work for a Very Bad Man (tm) and that if it wasn't for his irrational and disgusting behaviour, this would be the perfect job. Hell, I've stuck it out this long making what little salary I make. If he wasn't such an asshat, I would have stuck it out even longer.
The biggest push in all of this is Angel making plans to leave, as well. She had an interview with a headhunter this week, who loved her. And today, she had an interview with a software security company that the headhunter set up for her. From what I'm hearing, they also loved her. If she leaves our company, there is no way in Hell I could ever stay. There's no telling what craziness he, the Very Bad Man (tm), would subject me to and without Angel there to keep me in line, I can guarantee I would be fired in three days. My tolerance for bullshit has significantly decreased over the past few months and I have absolutely no patience for dealing with that infantile, temper-tantrum having, manipulative bastard. With no Angel, I will not hold my tongue.
My resume has been cleaned off and brushed up, and I've already begun submitting it to places. Today, during a trek through Careerbuilder, I saw that Samaritan Hospice is looking for Human Resources minions. Samaritan, by the way, is the hospice that handled my mother. Not sure if I can handle working there, but I applied anyway.
I need to take a pro-active stance with all of this, because even if Angel doesn't get this nifty job she interviewed for this afternoon, I am still going to have to be prepared. I'd rather not leave before she does, so I can continue to give her my support for as long as I can, but if a good opportunity comes up, I have to take it. On the flip side of that particular coin, if I am still there when she lives, it is not going to be pretty and there are several routes that can potentially take, none of which I'm really anticipating with anything resembling eagerness.
All of this is extraordinarily depressing. I hate trotting myself out for the dog-and-pony shows that pass as interviews. I hate writing cover letters and attempting to make myself sound fantabulous to potential employers. I hate answering stupid questions during interviews about what I think my best and worst traits are and what I would do in certain situations. I hate being the new kid.
Even in my interview clothes, which are rather spiffy, I never manage to look very polished, no matter how hard I try. I could have on my most professional outfit, with filed fingernails and proper make-up, all of my tattoos covered up and all my piercings taken out, and wearing non-ridiculous shoes. I still, somehow, wind up looking like a little girl who's gotten into her mother's work clothes. My hair goes wild in five seconds, I flail around when talking to people, I'm a nervous talker and an inappropriate laugher. On top of all that, the weird must be embedded in my skin, because even when I'm all dressed up, people can still tell I'm somehow different from them. My co-workers at my current job joke around about it all the time. From the moment we met you, we all knew you were a bit...odd. It's inescapable, I don't understand it.
Above all else, I am going to hate having to start all over again.
The time when I start combing Careerbuilder for new employment.
No worries at the moment from anyone, please. I am still gainfully employed. However, clouds are beginning to gather on the horizon and I've made the decision to follow the smart rats.
This is an extremely difficult decision I have made, since I've made so many great friends since I started working at this office. I don't accept change rather well on the best of days, but this is making me especially upset. We've been through so much with each other in the past year and a half, no other job will ever be quite the same.
None of us are very happy about our current working conditions. I don't talk a lot about what goes on behind our doors because I've signed a non-disclosure agreement and I take that sort of thing very seriously, but I will say that I work for a Very Bad Man (tm) and that if it wasn't for his irrational and disgusting behaviour, this would be the perfect job. Hell, I've stuck it out this long making what little salary I make. If he wasn't such an asshat, I would have stuck it out even longer.
The biggest push in all of this is Angel making plans to leave, as well. She had an interview with a headhunter this week, who loved her. And today, she had an interview with a software security company that the headhunter set up for her. From what I'm hearing, they also loved her. If she leaves our company, there is no way in Hell I could ever stay. There's no telling what craziness he, the Very Bad Man (tm), would subject me to and without Angel there to keep me in line, I can guarantee I would be fired in three days. My tolerance for bullshit has significantly decreased over the past few months and I have absolutely no patience for dealing with that infantile, temper-tantrum having, manipulative bastard. With no Angel, I will not hold my tongue.
My resume has been cleaned off and brushed up, and I've already begun submitting it to places. Today, during a trek through Careerbuilder, I saw that Samaritan Hospice is looking for Human Resources minions. Samaritan, by the way, is the hospice that handled my mother. Not sure if I can handle working there, but I applied anyway.
I need to take a pro-active stance with all of this, because even if Angel doesn't get this nifty job she interviewed for this afternoon, I am still going to have to be prepared. I'd rather not leave before she does, so I can continue to give her my support for as long as I can, but if a good opportunity comes up, I have to take it. On the flip side of that particular coin, if I am still there when she lives, it is not going to be pretty and there are several routes that can potentially take, none of which I'm really anticipating with anything resembling eagerness.
All of this is extraordinarily depressing. I hate trotting myself out for the dog-and-pony shows that pass as interviews. I hate writing cover letters and attempting to make myself sound fantabulous to potential employers. I hate answering stupid questions during interviews about what I think my best and worst traits are and what I would do in certain situations. I hate being the new kid.
Even in my interview clothes, which are rather spiffy, I never manage to look very polished, no matter how hard I try. I could have on my most professional outfit, with filed fingernails and proper make-up, all of my tattoos covered up and all my piercings taken out, and wearing non-ridiculous shoes. I still, somehow, wind up looking like a little girl who's gotten into her mother's work clothes. My hair goes wild in five seconds, I flail around when talking to people, I'm a nervous talker and an inappropriate laugher. On top of all that, the weird must be embedded in my skin, because even when I'm all dressed up, people can still tell I'm somehow different from them. My co-workers at my current job joke around about it all the time. From the moment we met you, we all knew you were a bit...odd. It's inescapable, I don't understand it.
Above all else, I am going to hate having to start all over again.
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-08 10:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-08 03:29 pm (UTC)And if Angel leaves, I CAN'T stay here and deal with him (and that's just saying he would allow me to say here, why keep the HR manager's assistant, if she quits? I highly doubt he's going to get a new manager). I've been dealing with this man for a year and a half, with Angel as a buffer to keep me in line, and without her here, I can NOT handle him. He's not like a normal CEO, this isn't like a case of just a shitty boss. He's a sociopath, no fucking lie and no exagerration. This is all a game to him and he doesn't care who he destroys in the process. And yes, people have been ruined by him. Their lives, their careers, even their credit.
And I'm more than aware that no one and no where is going to be wonderful, but give me a few minutes to be a bit upset about all of this, eh? This isn't not having 'coping skills'. This is me, being extremely upset that I have to leave a lot of people that I love dearly.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-08 11:59 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-08 01:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-08 02:57 pm (UTC)the weird must be embedded in my skin
Gah, DITTO.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-08 03:03 pm (UTC)My mother once bought me clothes for an interview, I tried them on... let her do my makeup, dyed my hair dog-brown, which is my natural color. And she looked at me and said, "Stop that! What are you doing??? Why do you still look weird?" I think it's discomfort? I don't know.
I hate starting over, too. Unemployment is my savior right now. I am in no hurry to deal with any of this... I need the time to get my head in order, and can get by on the $280/week, after taxes, even if it's less than I was making.
Maybe you could get the bad man to fire you, if nothing else came up in the interim?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-08 03:32 pm (UTC)Impossible.
I can't survive on what unemployment will give me and I HATE being on unemployment.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-08 04:07 pm (UTC)Are there any other branches by you, that you could transfer to? That might be an option?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-08 06:34 pm (UTC)No, I work for the administrative office of the company. We've got several offices in a few states, but they're all the medical portion of the company. And they all have to deal with him. It sucks.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-08 06:41 pm (UTC)But you know what they say, how sometimes, things are blessings in disguise, or whatnot? Maybe this is a case of that... and you will find something much better out there. I hope so, anyway. *hug*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-09 04:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-09 04:35 am (UTC)I've never heard of me coming up on random before. Neat!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-11 06:03 pm (UTC)OH YEAH - "Tara" and "random" in the same sentance? NEVER!