(no subject)

[thejunipertree]

As of late, I've got a lot of shit on my mind and if I don't let it out, I'm going to get an ulcer.



This is my list of things that I'm growing enormously tired of:

* being jerked around about a promotion that I was promised in MARCH and given half-assed excuses about it.
(First I was told that I had to work with my new immediate supervisor for a while, so that she could get a feel for me and what I am capable of doing. Then, I had to do activity logs for three fucking months, so that she knew what I was doing. After that, she made a decision on what I was to be promoted to and for how much. But, the CEO is waffling over this for reasons that I can't discern. He keeps asking her if she has any problems with me and then acts very disbelieving when she tells him there aren't any problems. He keeps bringing up the fact that I'm planning on going to college. He also likes to talk about how the amount of money we're asking for is close to what my former supervisor made, without even thinking about the fact that she was vastly underpaid and should have been making twice the amount. My supervisor is supposed to be meeting with him about it again today, to get a final answer because I am very sick of sitting around, waiting for the axe to drop.)

* calling people who I thought were very dear friends of mine and them not calling me back, repeatedly over the past year.
(This has been going on for months and months. I call. I text-message. I email. I leave messages. Lather, rinse, repeat. One person, I got a text-message back about how they're sorry and that they suck. Since then? Nothing. The other person, I just straight out don't fucking hear from. This is incredibly upsetting. If I did something wrong and someone doesn't want to speak to me, I totally understand that. But, I would like to KNOW. Tell me to get bent. Tell me to fuck off. Tell me that you don't want to be my friend anymore. Tell me to leave you alone. Tell me that you've got a lot going on right now and haven't been talking to anybody. Something. I've largely been keeping quiet about this because i don't like to be passive-agressive and shitty on the internet, but this is eating away at me. It hurts. A lot.)

* dysfunctional, bullshit family.
(Is it too much to ask for to have a semi-normal family? I've been over this so many times, that I almost don't even feel the need to complain about it anymore. It's just this burning knot in my stomach. All. The. Goddamn. Time.)

* waiting for my school loan to be processed.
(Classes start on August 28th and my loan still isn't processed. It got held up because something with my FAFSA was incorrect and I had no idea about it. It's annoying that even thought I know I'm not going to receive any FAFSA money, I still have to have that processed again before I can get any Stafford loans. I need to register for classes STAT, but I can't do that without my loan money. If it doesn't go through in time, I'm going to have to wait until Spring to start classes. And then I will scream.)

* not having the energy to do anything.
(Seriously. I don't feel like doing shit half the time. And it's not the heat because I'm in climate-controlled environments almost constantly. I think this has to do with depression, though. The Engineer kept asking me last week if I was depressed, but I didn't think I was. After more thought, I think I am. Christ. Why can't I just have the hypo-manic episodes all the fucking time? At least my apartment would be spotlessly clean. Goddamnit.)



Things haven't been all bad, don't get me wrong. But, the bad things are bad.

I have a new cell phone, which is also nice. My old one's ringer didn't ring anymore and I'd been walking around the past few months keeping it on vibrate, but never hearing it. I finally got fed up with the whole thing and went to the Verizon store for a new one. And this one is a camera phone. Fear me.

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