(no subject)

[thejunipertree]

Yesterday pretty much sucked, all the way around and back again.

I knew it was going to be bad because it was 09-27, which is my mother's birthday. This is her second birthday since she died and this year, I seem to be handling it a little worse than usual. Originally, I was going to take the day off from work and go to Cape May to visit where I scattered some of her ashes, but I had class that evening and I really didn't want to have to rush back to this part of the state. Especially through rush hour traffic. It would have been a little slice of deep-fried Hell and not something that I wanted to even attempt. Therefore, I found myself going to work.

On the drive in, I noticed a dead cat in the middle of the road. I think that it had been hit by a car fairly recently because I saw another small cat running away, already across the street. Maybe two of them had been running together or chasing each other, I don't know. But, dead cat in the road. Not something that puts a smile on my face during the best days, so it put me further into an already black mood.

Throughout the day, the mood grew steadily worse. I had to deal with one of our office employees lying straight to my face and trying to change her story several times. I got quite severe with her on the phone, which brought out the crocodile tears and attempts to manipulate me. This never works. I spent about an hour on the phone with her in the CFO's office and by the end of it, I was quite exhausted.

Leaving work, on my way to class, I had to drive down the dead cat road again. It's really the only way to get where I'm going without using the highway and since I was leaving at five o'clock in the evening, I didn't relish the idea of travelling by highway. Too much traffic. I was prepared for the cat carcass and as I drew nearer to it, I practiced steadily staring ahead of me. Out of sight, out of mind. Right?

Wrong.

Traffic backs up to a scary degree on that road and at that time, one could sit there for quite some time before being able to move up and go through the light. Where did I get stuck? Right next to the dead cat. Fucking hell. Not only that, but cars were driving up the center of the road to get to the turning lane and every single one of them ran over it. Every. Single. One. I couldn't get the wet slurping-thunk sound out of my head the entire night for love or money. Not exactly the best way to spend my Algebra class.

And this morning? A second dead cat, this one on the side of the road and not stuck in the middle. It looks exactly like the one I saw yesterday, running away. This does not make me happy, to say the least.

Comments

[ninjalie.livejournal.com]

:( Dead kitties are sad. I'm sorry you are having a tough day hun, it seems like everyone is having a hard time these past few weeks.

*hugs*, Nat

[rhiann31.livejournal.com]

Here's to that day being over and each year getting a little easier.

*hugs and a shot of whiskey*

[rowan-1958.livejournal.com]

From my experience when my dad died, the second year is harder than the first. The first year you are trying to do things at holidays and special days to make yourself and your family feel there is really not much difference. By the second year that has fallen aside and you feel things more keenly. Don't be surprised if "the holidays" and/or your birthday are harder this year either....that's how it was for me. That being said, it does get better, you never stop missing them, but the grief lessens.....