(no subject)
Oct. 6th, 2006 08:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thejunipertreeThere are very few people who I demand expect to remember my birthday (which was yesterday). I can count them on one hand, as a matter of fact, and two of them are family. The other two are my boyfriend and my best friend. That's four, total. It used to be five, but my mother died, and the part of the "boyfriend" has been played by various people in the past and has even been upgraded to "husband" once. No more. Now it's just four. My father, my brother, my best friend, and my boyfriend. That's all I ask.
And as any of those four will tell you, I am not grabby with the presents. I generally don't even care if I get a card (I prefer no cards, to be quite honest-take notes, if you like, because I always feel bad when I throw out birthday or holiday cards that people give to me). I am completely content with just receiving well wishes on my birthday; it is the only thing I ask for on that specific day.
So.
When one of those four people manages to FORGET FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW, I get a wee bit snotty over the whole affair.
Want to know who it was? I'll give you a hint: it wasn't my father, boyfriend, or best friend).
Last year, Middle Brother forget and never actually even said anything about it. Ever. I've had other people forget or miss the day or whatnot, then follow up with a belated apology. Ok, fine. Sometimes, life gets in the way. I understand. However, it has now been a year and a day (imagine!) and he still has not said word one to me on the matter. Does he believe that these past two years have not passed and I am, in fact, still thirty (I wish)? The last time he wished me happy birthday was on my 30th.
What makes it even more hilarious is that yesterday, I took the day off from work. The night before, I had over a couple of friends and we spent the evening heavily drinking (Malibu rum and blood orange soda for me, milk stout and strawberry wheat beer for them), eating various snack foods (cheese, crackers, pepperoni, radishes), and watching the reunion episode of Project Runway. I stayed up until four o'clock in the morning talking absolute drunken nonsense with Joanna, then slept until half one in the afternoon. It was grand. The Engineer gave me my birthday presents, and I was a happy girl.
My brother saw that I had people over for the ceremonial heavy drinking and eating of bad things. He came home in the middle of it. Not a word, not even when he was picking through the party tray of food I had made up.
The next day, when he came home from work and I was lying on the living room floor watching bad plastic surgery programs, with my birthday presents scattered all around me, still not a light bulb went on in his head. We even had conversations where I gave him ample opportunity to come to his senses.
him: What, no work today?
me: Nope.
him: What, did you call out?
me: No, I planned for the day off.
him: Joanna, too?
me: Yeah, we both took the day off. We've been planning it for weeks.
(later...)
him: Hey, did you buy a new fan?
me: No. The Engineer bought it for me.
him: Oh.
(later...)
him: What's this? Rum?
me: Yeah. Joanna gave it to me as a present.
At one point in the early evening, we were having a conversation about a girl he'd been seeing and I had asked him what had happened to her (she hadn't been around in some time). And he told me the story of them not seeing each other anymore, which involved her not calling him on his birthday in September. I stood there, cocked an eyebrow at him and said, "Didn't wish you a happy birthday? Imagine."
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I don't want to be a twat about it. I don't want to make him feel bad. We both have a lot on our minds and the two of us have been a lot like the walking dead since our mother died, but what the fuck does it take? I don't want to walk into his room and shout about how he forgot my birthday again. I don't want to be a passive aggressive cunt. I want him to fucking remember it.
It's not that difficult to remember: the leaves begin to turn and the Halloween candy starts showing up in the stores, it's time for Tara's birthday. You know?
We're not that close and certainly not physically demonstrative, but a small nod to what sibling bond we do have would be nice. Fuck, I've only got two family members left on this planet; I don't think I'm asking for much.
And as any of those four will tell you, I am not grabby with the presents. I generally don't even care if I get a card (I prefer no cards, to be quite honest-take notes, if you like, because I always feel bad when I throw out birthday or holiday cards that people give to me). I am completely content with just receiving well wishes on my birthday; it is the only thing I ask for on that specific day.
So.
When one of those four people manages to FORGET FOR THE SECOND YEAR IN A ROW, I get a wee bit snotty over the whole affair.
Want to know who it was? I'll give you a hint: it wasn't my father, boyfriend, or best friend).
Last year, Middle Brother forget and never actually even said anything about it. Ever. I've had other people forget or miss the day or whatnot, then follow up with a belated apology. Ok, fine. Sometimes, life gets in the way. I understand. However, it has now been a year and a day (imagine!) and he still has not said word one to me on the matter. Does he believe that these past two years have not passed and I am, in fact, still thirty (I wish)? The last time he wished me happy birthday was on my 30th.
What makes it even more hilarious is that yesterday, I took the day off from work. The night before, I had over a couple of friends and we spent the evening heavily drinking (Malibu rum and blood orange soda for me, milk stout and strawberry wheat beer for them), eating various snack foods (cheese, crackers, pepperoni, radishes), and watching the reunion episode of Project Runway. I stayed up until four o'clock in the morning talking absolute drunken nonsense with Joanna, then slept until half one in the afternoon. It was grand. The Engineer gave me my birthday presents, and I was a happy girl.
My brother saw that I had people over for the ceremonial heavy drinking and eating of bad things. He came home in the middle of it. Not a word, not even when he was picking through the party tray of food I had made up.
The next day, when he came home from work and I was lying on the living room floor watching bad plastic surgery programs, with my birthday presents scattered all around me, still not a light bulb went on in his head. We even had conversations where I gave him ample opportunity to come to his senses.
him: What, no work today?
me: Nope.
him: What, did you call out?
me: No, I planned for the day off.
him: Joanna, too?
me: Yeah, we both took the day off. We've been planning it for weeks.
(later...)
him: Hey, did you buy a new fan?
me: No. The Engineer bought it for me.
him: Oh.
(later...)
him: What's this? Rum?
me: Yeah. Joanna gave it to me as a present.
At one point in the early evening, we were having a conversation about a girl he'd been seeing and I had asked him what had happened to her (she hadn't been around in some time). And he told me the story of them not seeing each other anymore, which involved her not calling him on his birthday in September. I stood there, cocked an eyebrow at him and said, "Didn't wish you a happy birthday? Imagine."
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I don't want to be a twat about it. I don't want to make him feel bad. We both have a lot on our minds and the two of us have been a lot like the walking dead since our mother died, but what the fuck does it take? I don't want to walk into his room and shout about how he forgot my birthday again. I don't want to be a passive aggressive cunt. I want him to fucking remember it.
It's not that difficult to remember: the leaves begin to turn and the Halloween candy starts showing up in the stores, it's time for Tara's birthday. You know?
We're not that close and certainly not physically demonstrative, but a small nod to what sibling bond we do have would be nice. Fuck, I've only got two family members left on this planet; I don't think I'm asking for much.
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-07 01:16 am (UTC)So cheer up and have a Happy Belated Birthday.
-Nat
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-07 01:36 am (UTC)i am SO BAD at remembering birthdays, I ususally just make/buy ppl shit on non-birthday days when I find stuff that makes me think of them. I do, however, like to think that I makes the ppl i really care about feel extra awesome at least one day a year, even if it's not their actual birthday.
(you, miss, have to help me figure out what fun dumb thing we can do together bc I miss you and stuff. also, i know you're not fishing for OMFG HAPPY BIRTHAY, but i do hope you had an OMFG HAPPY BIRTHDAY, lady. )
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-07 07:58 pm (UTC)I miss you, too. We needs to get together and be retarded.
When are you able to steal away for a weekend?
P.S.
He remembered this afternoon and was suitably full of chagrin. I, in my infinite grace and patience, did not point out to him his lack of last year birthday wishing.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-07 01:22 pm (UTC)That's pretty much how I remember it..
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-07 03:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-07 05:58 pm (UTC)with all the crap I'm dealing with I forgot, which is bad considering LJ reminds me.....
(no subject)
Date: 2006-10-07 07:59 pm (UTC)You, dear, are totally allowed to forget. But, thank you. :)