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thejunipertreeHere is the process analysis essay I wrote for English Composition. It's not incredibly great, but I'm amused by it.
Tara Maguire
Process Analysis Essay #2
“It’s A No Brainer: Preparing For A Zombie Outbreak”
October 3, 2006
“When there’s no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the earth.” A simple line, spoken in a 70s horror film directed by George Romero, has been coursing through my brain ever since I first saw Dawn of the Dead. Zombies are the reanimated corpses of human beings and the threat of an undead scourge is a very real one, if completely downplayed by our nation’s security forces and the mass media. Upon hearing that a zombie outbreak is immanent, it is very possible to become overwhelmed with despair over how to protect one’s home and loved ones. However, if a few simple steps are taken far in advance, one’s chances of survival will increase dramatically. Stockpiling supplies, becoming familiar with various forms of weaponry, living in an already well protected home, and having already prepared plans for travel are essential to ensuring that one comes out of an outbreak with all of one’s bits still attached and uninfected by zombie plague.
The easiest step to take is beginning to stock up on canned food and potable water. Many people already have such things in their pantries, having been lured in by promotional sales at the local grocery store. Don’t just grab anything that’s been discounted; make sure it’s something that you enjoy eating. Chances are that you’ll be eating it for many months, or even years, to come. Obviously, you’ll also want to grab a few can openers to have around in case the one already in your kitchen breaks. Buying manually operated ones will be much smarter than electric or battery powered, as electricity will become a thing of the past and batteries are best saved for thing like flashlights. Also, bottled water is highly important to hoard. There’s no telling what the water systems will be like once an infestation commences and it’s really best to prepare for the worst in this situation. Stocking up on batteries is also highly recommended, as well as any over-the-counter medicines one may require. However, be sure to regularly check the expiration dates on any medicine in the stockpile. Things like headache reliever and Pepto Bismal do certainly expire. Taking expired medication in the middle of an outbreak and growing sicker could prove to have dire consequences.
Secondly, begin taking classes in various forms of weaponry. Going to the shooting range and learning to fire different types of guns will exponentially increase survival rates. However, be forewarned that guns will not always be the wise choice in fighting off a zombie. Research has shown that zombie hearing is highly acute; shots of gunfire to dispatch a single zombie could alert hundreds of them to your location. Become proficient in terminating the undead with other, non-explosive combat weapons like knives or swords and you will find that fewer zombies will swarm around wherever you have bunkered down. If you are uncomfortable with hand-to-hand fighting or unable for physical reasons, having as many guns equipped with silencers is your best bet. Be forewarned, however, that semi-automatic guns are unable to be equipped with silencers and thusly, you will need to rely on pistols and rifles in such a situation. Stock up on all the ammunition you can afford and fit into your house. Too much is never enough.
One’s home should be as secure as possible. The type of houses built on stilts, like those you would see near the beach-front, would be ideal. During an outbreak, all that would have to be done to properly secure the house is destroy the staircase leading to the door. No stairs, no zombies reaching the interior of the home. Other than a stilted house, a good choice would be a hurricane-proofed house. These houses are built to withstand powerful wind and rain; their windows are generally shatter-resistant. Minimal changes would have to be made to one of these houses to keep out zombies. In the event that either of these types of structures is unavailable, pick a home that has a small amount of windows and doors. Less points of entrance means fewer areas need to be defended. If you live in an apartment, be sure to not live on the ground floor. Ground floor windows are simple for anyone to break into, let alone a zombie horde.
Finally, be aware that no matter how secure one’s home may be or how many supplies one has managed to stock, it is likely that the time will come to abandon the house and set out for safer ground. The outbreak may not be able to be contained and therefore, another area will be far safer to live in. Fire and looters could also threaten your property, making it even more difficult to deal with the zombie problem. Above all else, when you are beginning preparations for an outbreak, sit down and make some decisions about having to leave your home. How will you leave? Where are you going to go? How will you get there? Decide on a plan and a contingency plan. Many lives could be saved if those involved have a Plan B at the ready. Ideally, the destination should be somewhere remote where one could live off the land for an extended period of time. Research the area you’re thinking of traveling to, even take a small vacation there to see what it’s like. Is it possible to live in this area throughout different seasons and weather conditions? All of these things must be thought through ahead of time to be sure that tragedy does not strike.
If all of these preparation steps are followed, one’s chances of surviving a zombie attack are great. Clear thinking, efficient planning, and ample provisions are an absolute must if you want to live through this. Making sure that you have enough edibles, weaponry, secure housing, and travel plans long before the outbreak begins will keep you and your loved ones alive throughout this horrible period of time and beyond.
Tara Maguire
Process Analysis Essay #2
“It’s A No Brainer: Preparing For A Zombie Outbreak”
October 3, 2006
“When there’s no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the earth.” A simple line, spoken in a 70s horror film directed by George Romero, has been coursing through my brain ever since I first saw Dawn of the Dead. Zombies are the reanimated corpses of human beings and the threat of an undead scourge is a very real one, if completely downplayed by our nation’s security forces and the mass media. Upon hearing that a zombie outbreak is immanent, it is very possible to become overwhelmed with despair over how to protect one’s home and loved ones. However, if a few simple steps are taken far in advance, one’s chances of survival will increase dramatically. Stockpiling supplies, becoming familiar with various forms of weaponry, living in an already well protected home, and having already prepared plans for travel are essential to ensuring that one comes out of an outbreak with all of one’s bits still attached and uninfected by zombie plague.
The easiest step to take is beginning to stock up on canned food and potable water. Many people already have such things in their pantries, having been lured in by promotional sales at the local grocery store. Don’t just grab anything that’s been discounted; make sure it’s something that you enjoy eating. Chances are that you’ll be eating it for many months, or even years, to come. Obviously, you’ll also want to grab a few can openers to have around in case the one already in your kitchen breaks. Buying manually operated ones will be much smarter than electric or battery powered, as electricity will become a thing of the past and batteries are best saved for thing like flashlights. Also, bottled water is highly important to hoard. There’s no telling what the water systems will be like once an infestation commences and it’s really best to prepare for the worst in this situation. Stocking up on batteries is also highly recommended, as well as any over-the-counter medicines one may require. However, be sure to regularly check the expiration dates on any medicine in the stockpile. Things like headache reliever and Pepto Bismal do certainly expire. Taking expired medication in the middle of an outbreak and growing sicker could prove to have dire consequences.
Secondly, begin taking classes in various forms of weaponry. Going to the shooting range and learning to fire different types of guns will exponentially increase survival rates. However, be forewarned that guns will not always be the wise choice in fighting off a zombie. Research has shown that zombie hearing is highly acute; shots of gunfire to dispatch a single zombie could alert hundreds of them to your location. Become proficient in terminating the undead with other, non-explosive combat weapons like knives or swords and you will find that fewer zombies will swarm around wherever you have bunkered down. If you are uncomfortable with hand-to-hand fighting or unable for physical reasons, having as many guns equipped with silencers is your best bet. Be forewarned, however, that semi-automatic guns are unable to be equipped with silencers and thusly, you will need to rely on pistols and rifles in such a situation. Stock up on all the ammunition you can afford and fit into your house. Too much is never enough.
One’s home should be as secure as possible. The type of houses built on stilts, like those you would see near the beach-front, would be ideal. During an outbreak, all that would have to be done to properly secure the house is destroy the staircase leading to the door. No stairs, no zombies reaching the interior of the home. Other than a stilted house, a good choice would be a hurricane-proofed house. These houses are built to withstand powerful wind and rain; their windows are generally shatter-resistant. Minimal changes would have to be made to one of these houses to keep out zombies. In the event that either of these types of structures is unavailable, pick a home that has a small amount of windows and doors. Less points of entrance means fewer areas need to be defended. If you live in an apartment, be sure to not live on the ground floor. Ground floor windows are simple for anyone to break into, let alone a zombie horde.
Finally, be aware that no matter how secure one’s home may be or how many supplies one has managed to stock, it is likely that the time will come to abandon the house and set out for safer ground. The outbreak may not be able to be contained and therefore, another area will be far safer to live in. Fire and looters could also threaten your property, making it even more difficult to deal with the zombie problem. Above all else, when you are beginning preparations for an outbreak, sit down and make some decisions about having to leave your home. How will you leave? Where are you going to go? How will you get there? Decide on a plan and a contingency plan. Many lives could be saved if those involved have a Plan B at the ready. Ideally, the destination should be somewhere remote where one could live off the land for an extended period of time. Research the area you’re thinking of traveling to, even take a small vacation there to see what it’s like. Is it possible to live in this area throughout different seasons and weather conditions? All of these things must be thought through ahead of time to be sure that tragedy does not strike.
If all of these preparation steps are followed, one’s chances of surviving a zombie attack are great. Clear thinking, efficient planning, and ample provisions are an absolute must if you want to live through this. Making sure that you have enough edibles, weaponry, secure housing, and travel plans long before the outbreak begins will keep you and your loved ones alive throughout this horrible period of time and beyond.