thejunipertree: (Default)
[personal profile] thejunipertree
I made bread again today.

I'm more than a little impatient and far too involved in the Veruca Salt mentality of "I WANT IT NOW!"; how very American of me, yeah? So, this recipe linked above is a good one. No kneading, 45 minute rise. Extremely dense and heavy bread, but that's ok. I like it like that.

Who am I kidding? I'd like bread if it were covered in spiders. Clown spiders.

Or spider clowns. Dude, it's bread. It's like bacon. Or how guys tend to think of blowjobs. Even when it's bad, it's fucking awesome.

Except turkey bacon, that shit is disgusting.

And I had a bizarre moment of omgimadethis when I was sitting on the couch eating it and watching a zombie movie. I totally took four ingredients and made them into a substance.

It's not like normal cooking, I think. Normal cooking is something else entirely; you're taking foodstuffs that already exist and combining them. Making bread is more...primal. I know that's an incredibly nerdy statement, but it's true. At its most basic, it is flour and sugar and salt and yeast. That's it.

The only thing I could compare it to is when a sculptor takes a mound of clay and turns it into a running horse or a bust of a man or a giant president.

Now I'm nerdy AND pretentious. Fantastic!

Next time, I reckon I'll put kalamata olives in it.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-28 03:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shygryf.livejournal.com
I'm sorry, you have no idea who i am, but i saw your subject line on Livejournal aquarium (http://aqua.livejournal.ru/), and I have to say your description of bread is the most perfect i have ever heard or read.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-28 04:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greyboy.livejournal.com
So, what's the recipe for Spider Clown Bread?

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-28 04:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chavvah.livejournal.com
Damn I love bread. I am going to go eat some RIGHT NOW.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-28 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vivaemptiness.livejournal.com
mmmmmm.

i made pumpkin bread tonight. but that's different.

(no subject)

Date: 2008-04-30 04:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lachupacabra.livejournal.com
baking = magic.
:D

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