Christmas Eve with the Sicilians

[thejunipertree]

I have a confession to make.

I'm dating an Italian.

A Sicilian, at that. Okay, only HALF Sicilian.

Broke one of my cardinal rules, yes. But, it's
really not so bad. He's not really stereotypical
Italian. No gold chains. No red gravy stains on
a wifebeater tank top. Doesn't think he's in the
Mob (except when we're listening to Catatonia's
one song). And isn't enamoured with the Sopranos.

However, he does have a big Sicilian part of the
family. And I was invited to spend Christmas
Eve with them. Feast of the Seven Fishes (which
wound up being many, many shrimp in my gullet and
crab dip that I can't eat because I'm allergic).
And the ceremonial EATING OF THE SAUSAGE AT MIDNIGHT.

It was mostly okay. Not as bad as I was dreading.
I am not a social situation kind of person. I
don't do family gatherings. Especially when
they're not even my family.

His cousins were cool, despite the one having
her little boy sing "Santa Claus is coming to
town" for the Engineer. His parents, like usual,
were keen. Especially when his mother got all
fiesty and loud over how much she hates Martha
Stewart. It prompted me to think to myself "Man,
Rose has got an aggro side to her!"

His aunt was most entertaining. Between refilling
my glass of wine and refilling her own glass,
she commented about an episode of the Sopranos
that was being discussed. "I just don't like it,
it reminds me too much of what I've already lived
through."

Said episode involved a prostitute sucking off
a couple of cops or something of the sort. I
barely managed to hold my tongue. I REALLY wanted
to ask "So, have you sucked a lot of cop dick?"

The Engineer and I discussed it on the ride home.
We couldn't decide whether or not she meant
being a hooker or being involved with the Mob. I
asked him if I could press his father for answers
on the matter, but he thinks it's best if he
does the honours. Damn.

I just ate popcorn off the floor.

Comments

I am the Queen of Jerk.

[ninjalicious.livejournal.com]

Yes! I got laid sucka! While you saps fell victim to my diversion ploy, I got the hot boy injection 3 times! Take that!

Ok, ok.. so it wasn't so much a "ploy" as me being sick of trying for a week to get 8 people in one place at one time and *still* people were being flippy about it. So I said fux0r it and when E tookover, it was commented (as he continued the chain-phonecall series I had started) "This takes more planning than a terrorist strike!". So now you see the motives behind my jerky jerk ways. Mmmm, boy.

THESE PIPES ARE CLEEEEEAAN!!!

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

Who the hell was being flippy about our outing?
I only became flippy when I was told you weren't
going to be joining us. Especially since it was you
who had planned the whole thing to begin with.

I almost backed out, I tell you.

Especially since you were really the only one
I cared about seeing, at that moment. I mean,
everybody else is keen and all. But, I'm sick of
seeing PDA's between Newt and the boything reaching
new and even more horrible levels of horkiness.

Everybody sucks.

/cue REM

Re: THESE PIPES ARE CLEEEEEAAN!!!

[ninjalicious.livejournal.com]

Pretty much any time I talked to anyone about that night, they said "Call so-and-so and find out [information] from them, then call me back." And this went back and forth, around in circles, for days. Really, I should have just put my foot down and said "This is the plan, we will all be at X at X time, if you are not there, we will mock you in your absence." But being the non-leader that I tend to be, I just did all the callbacks that didn't go anywhere. So I know, it's as much my fault as anyone's (probably moreso since I started the whole thing), which is why I declared myself a jerk for backing out. :/ I felt bad though because realistically, I can see you folks almost any time, and Colin had made a special trip down and I was just spinning my wheels. When I get this damn car (Should be this week...) needing to plan will be a thing of the past again. FREEDOM!!!!!!!