GRR

[thejunipertree]

Okay, I know I've been a posting fool today. But, I'm feeling more verbose than usual.

Currently, I am digging my nails into my desk to keep from shouting. Those two wackos who sit behind me, I don't know for how much longer I'm going to be able to deal with this. The sound of their voices grates on my nerves to the point where I grit my teeth.

Fucking mealy mouthed idiots, I tell you. I hate the sound of a person's voice when they don't enunciate their goddamn words. Don't talk like you've got God's dick in your mouth, your foolish pantywaist.

They're just STUPID, on top of all of this.
Like the "nice" conversation that went on earlier. I could have put my head down on my desk and cried at the banality of it all.

She's just such a nice little girl.
Oh, isn't that nice!
She said her teacher always tells her how nice she looks.
That sounds like a nice teacher.
And so she asked if she could buy her teacher a nice donut.
That's so nice of her!
And I told her that it would be really nice if she bought a whole dozen.
I think that's a nice thing to do.

I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.

And the one is a big effing liar. I've caught her in three already. Don't sit there and tell me that you never speak to your ex-husband and whenever he calls you hang up the phone, then turn around and say that you called him the other day just to hear his voice. And how you're mad that he's up in the Pocanos with someone who isn't you.

WTF?

Just shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupSHUTUP

I don't care about your pastor. Or your church. I don't care about your nieces and nephews that you have to take care of because your sister is a drug addict. I don't care that your husband left you and now sleeps in a car. I don't care that your father's chicken salad gave you the trots last night.

Fucking irritating. I wish my desk was completely secluded. Like, a little wall all the way around it. Maybe even a drawbridge and a moat. With a moat monster to keep away solicitors.

*sigh*

Comments

[neenerface.livejournal.com]

On the way home tonight buy two inexpensive dildos

Tomorrow wrap them and place on their desks

Leave little cards with cute flowers and kittens on them. Write inside "I saw these while out and I couldn't pass them up. I think you nice ladies should shove them in your nice mouths so you don't prattle on anymore causing me to spill blood at work."

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

*chokes*

OMG.

That just made my entire day!
Thanks. :D

Re:

[neenerface.livejournal.com]

See? Now every time you look at them you're going to picture the dildos in their mouth. *laughs evily* My work here is done!

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

It makes it even worse that I just heard "In the bible, they were always having sex. Sex sex sex sex sex."

...

[serpent-sky.livejournal.com]

i don't even want to know what context would bring that line about.

I would like to ship the office beast to you so you can beat her sensless for me.

Right now, in a loud, rushed, half mumbled, but still screamed voice:

"yeah well like that's like the weekend before like my birthday um so like yeah of course i would see you if you were here but like yeah you know john is out of town that weekend so that would be better if like you were doing something then and i already told him that i might like you know want to see some ummm other like people that weekend and i don't know when you're coming so like no i need to make plans..."

and she does this ALL DAMNED DAY. And as soon as she hangs up, she will call someone else and tell them the same thing. I hate her. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.

*breathes*

[evilbalddago.livejournal.com]

Hey sweetie I would be all about buying those dildos for you to wrap and place on their desks. We can make this a random thing where we buy stuff for them. Hell place the dildos in their desks for them to find at an inappropriate time. *snicker*

[neenerface.livejournal.com]

See now you have the right idea. Then when they pull them out give them the evil Christian look. "How could you nice ladies be so dirty!". Make the disapproving clucking noise with your mouth that old ladies make. Keep hiding all sorts of filth in their desks. There's a store right on 30 in Stratford, close and easy like Wawa.