Dear God:

[thejunipertree]

I'm tired of being kicked around like your little patsy bitch. I'm also not thrilled with that fucking whore, Life, right now either. Both of you need to get off my back, post motherfucking haste.

I've started my workout program again and neither of you cocksockets better have a damn thing to say about it. I've also successfully managed to cut out all soda but diet Cherry Coke from my life. Currently, I'm sitting here and enjoying a bottle of cold water.

however, at the moment i am also enjoying a cigarette. screw you if you think i'm giving that up right now. i am cutting back, though. bite me.

Also.

I'm still waiting for that raise I asked you for two weeks ago. And the pony I asked for when I was five.

Snootch to the nootch,
tara

Comments

[hexennacht.livejournal.com]

dear tara,

if i had a penis, i'd give you a raise.

love, carrie

[evilbalddago.livejournal.com]

oh dear, oh dear. *shakes head*

Since I do then allow me.

children's letters to god

[paranoimia.livejournal.com]

(*laughing*)

awesome.

and fuck yeah, get that pony. hell, God can call it 'war reperations' if he/she/it/llama? wants to.
"i want my forty acres and a mule, biotch!"

-melissa