(no subject)
Mar. 5th, 2010 02:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I should really go to bed.
But, if I don't, then I can just continue pretending that everything is fine and Tinker won't be going in for surgery tomorrow. If I stay in the computer room, I can convince myself that nothing is amiss and this is like any other night when I stay up far past my bedtime. Right?
Problem is, I'm far too pragmatic for that.
Well, pragmatic on one side of my brain and completely batshit paranoid and obsessive on the other side. Guess which one is winning the fight right now?
I'll give you a hint: it's currently the one hopping madly up and down, while shrieking about how even though we know all the statistics and the vet has reassured us a thousand times, that everything is going to go wrong and this knot in our gut is just an oracle for coming death.
He ate a little bit tonight, and this morning as well. I had bought some small jars of baby food on my way home from work this evening in the hopes I could entice him. He ate maybe three quarters of a teaspoon. Baby ate the rest when I wasn't looking. Later, I held him in my lap as I sat in the dad recliner, watching Battlestar Galatica with Wemble and the Engineer. But, after about fifteen minutes, he wasn't so much into that game anymore and went to lie down next to one of the bookshelves.
I'm dropping him off tomorrow at the vet's before I head into work. I wish I could ask the Engineer to go with me, as it is his day off and I could really use the emotional support, but then I would have to go back to the apartment before I could go to work and it would just take too much time. I know he would do it if I asked it of him, but logistically it just won't work.
...gah. This sucks so much.
But, if I don't, then I can just continue pretending that everything is fine and Tinker won't be going in for surgery tomorrow. If I stay in the computer room, I can convince myself that nothing is amiss and this is like any other night when I stay up far past my bedtime. Right?
Problem is, I'm far too pragmatic for that.
Well, pragmatic on one side of my brain and completely batshit paranoid and obsessive on the other side. Guess which one is winning the fight right now?
I'll give you a hint: it's currently the one hopping madly up and down, while shrieking about how even though we know all the statistics and the vet has reassured us a thousand times, that everything is going to go wrong and this knot in our gut is just an oracle for coming death.
He ate a little bit tonight, and this morning as well. I had bought some small jars of baby food on my way home from work this evening in the hopes I could entice him. He ate maybe three quarters of a teaspoon. Baby ate the rest when I wasn't looking. Later, I held him in my lap as I sat in the dad recliner, watching Battlestar Galatica with Wemble and the Engineer. But, after about fifteen minutes, he wasn't so much into that game anymore and went to lie down next to one of the bookshelves.
I'm dropping him off tomorrow at the vet's before I head into work. I wish I could ask the Engineer to go with me, as it is his day off and I could really use the emotional support, but then I would have to go back to the apartment before I could go to work and it would just take too much time. I know he would do it if I asked it of him, but logistically it just won't work.
...gah. This sucks so much.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-05 02:06 pm (UTC)I'm sorry, bebe. That fucking sucks.
I'm thinking of you guys.
I love you.
<3
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-05 05:44 pm (UTC)*hug*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-05 06:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-05 10:48 pm (UTC)