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01 - Introduction
02 – Your first love
03 – Your parents (this is long as HELL
04 - What you ate today
05 - Your definition of love
06 - Your day

Your best friend


My best friend and I couldn't be two more different people, but for some reason- we've been doing something right for twenty-two years.

We met our freshman year of high school, 1988: two awkward and socially inept gadabouts. I was boisterous and weird, from a white trash family and full of false confidence and bravado. She was nerdy and into books with dragons on the cover, with born again mother and father. We were a pair, she and I.

I'm not even all that sure what particularly clicked between the two of us. Usually, I can later identify what causes that between myself and whomever I had made friends with. There's always a spark, a mutual exchange of yes, this is a person I would like to spend further time with on a non-naked basis, preferably there should also be booze and general carousing. With Fritchee, it was Wishmaster and nerding out in the parking lot on campus after our Psychology of Death and Dying class. With Joanna, it was when she started a conversation at the lunch table at work about how she once told her father that her real daddy was Joe Strummer. With Miss Janette, it was ridiculous shoes and shared angst. With Wemble, I honestly couldn't tell you.

But, it's there.

And it's weathered through all manner of storms, a tiny beacon bobbing through the waves. It saw us through my first suicide attempt, a couple of her rather particularly shitty and controlling boyfriends, our living together, our sharing a room together (that one was especially rough because she is even more fond of the snooze button than I am), my divorce, her wedding, my mother's illness.

We've come through it all and sometimes I am amazed, just struck speechless and dumb, at the vaguely sensible adults we have managed to become. She's a librarian, for Christ's sake, and I've got a car payment. How on earth did this happen? How was it even possible? We don't run wild any longer, or act in reprehensibly irresponsible manners. We're still ourselves, the same two goony girls we were in high school. She still likes the nerdy stuff that nerds nerd about and I'm still a ridiculous spookypants what burps wee bats. Some stains you just can't ever remove, these indelible watermarks on our personalities. Just with slightly bigger brains now, and more of a grasp on the concept of repercussion. It is an interesting feeling.

God help her when she decides to start having children. I tell her this all the time. I will be known as Crazy Aunt Tara Who Smells Like Incense and I will buy them the loud, flashy toys and tell them embarrassing stories about their mother. She gives me the face of small mouth/small eyes frequently over this, particularly when I tell her about how when they're old enough- I'm going to get them high for the first time and buy them porn, or maybe their first copy of Disintegration and a bottle of Mad Dog. Only some of what I say is serious, I just never tell her which part.

We don't see each other as much as either of us would like, given these shiny adult lives we seem to be leading. But when we do, it's as if no time has passed between us. We still cackle uproariously over the same jokes, we continue conversations half started from months prior. Last time she came over, which was actually vaguely recently, we made plans for the holidays this year. Of bacon extravaganzas and chocolate pie, wine and all-around silliness.

1992, or thereabouts, with our friend Jenn. I still have that Pixies shirt!

08 – A moment
09 – Your beliefs
10 – What you wore today
11 – Your siblings
12 – What’s in your bag
13 – This week
14 – What you wore today
15 – Your dreams
16 – Your first kiss
17 – Your favorite memory
18 – Your favorite birthday
19 – Something you regret
20 – This month
21 – Another moment
22 – Something that upsets you
23 – Something that makes you feel better
24 – Something that makes you cry
25 – A first
26 – Your fears
27 – Your favorite place
28 – Something that you miss
29 – Your aspirations
30 – One last moment


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January 2011

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