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VThenameless1V: Wheres the imortality ?

me: excuse me?

VThenameless1V: I am seeking imortality do you know where i can find any ?

me: Oh, that. I left it in the hall closet. It's probably under the pile of hatboxes.

VThenameless1V: when can i get it i can't take over the world with out it

me: You could try the Dollar Store. That's where I got mine.

VThenameless1V: thats false imortality it doesn't really work

me: So says the person IMing people on AOL to ask about immortality. I didn't realise you were such an expert on the subject, champ.

VThenameless1V: yup i have a degree in exmortality

me: I didn't realise they offered this at community college. How grand for you!

VThenameless1V: nope i had to go to Mistonic U to take it

me: That's Miskatonic, you infidel.

VThenameless1V: nope i went across the street

VThenameless1V: wait a minute that wasn't a class cursses i've been had

me: Do you feel as if you've been ripped off by gypsies?

VThenameless1V: yeah .....those bastards i'll have their head on pikes decorating my lawn

me: Lawn decorations. Do you have a host of gnomes and jockeys, as well?

VThenameless1V: NO gnomes are for fools and the weak

VThenameless1V: human heads are for me

me: Silly me. How could I have forgotten?

VThenameless1V: no problem i won't hold it against you

me: You're too kind.

VThenameless1V: i try

me: It would seem so.

VThenameless1V: muh hahahaha

me: You might want to work on the diabolical laugh though. You sound too much like Emperor Ming, at the moment.

VThenameless1V: wow some one took three cynical pills this morning

me: The doctor prescribed them to me. I was starting to become too much of a bunny hugger, so it's the medication route I go!

VThenameless1V: hmmm i finaly got off mine

VThenameless1V: i don't feel as...evil though

me: That's because you're now a bunny hugger. You're not going to start showing me your power crystal collection now, are you?

VThenameless1V: i never hugged a bunny in my life all i have is a cat and i tell you he is quite evil

me: So sayeth the bunny hugger. Next thing you know, you're going to be asking me to join your hacky sack circle.

VThenameless1V: hey i killed six hippies just last week

me: You lie.

VThenameless1V: nope i cut thier faces off you want me to scan them

me: Not particularly, no. Especially because I know you'll just steal .jpgs from www.rotten.com as your "evidence".

VThenameless1V: whats rotten.com

me: Type it into your address bar and find out, o lazy and evil one.

VThenameless1V: ohhh this place yeah i sent them one of my pieces a couple of years agao

me: uh huh. Suuuuure you did.

VThenameless1V: yup yup

me: *yawns*

VThenameless1V: **yawns back**

me: Nice fake fangs there, little buckeroo.

VThenameless1V: oh they are quite real i asure you

me: Real in the point that yes, they do exist in what we call reality. Real in the point that they grew from your mouth naturally? I somehow doubt this.

VThenameless1V: doubt now but it may be your downfall

me: Do you have your Type O Negative album sleeve in your lap, for ease of quick quoting of lyrics?

VThenameless1V: nope i'm that good

VThenameless1V: peter steele is dead in my closet also he was a fake

me: I bow before your lyric quoting skill, ye god of mighty lyric quoting.

VThenameless1V: well considering i don't listen to type o reall yet you seem to think something i just randomly said is a lyric i would have to turn around and say your the one who studies lyrics all night

me: Actually, if you had an ounce of a brain in your head you would have realised that I was being smarmy and sarcastic. My wit is too much for you. I apologise. I'll start speaking in smaller words and generalities so you can understand better, m'kay?

VThenameless1V: n,k and some would mistake your wit/sarcasm for b!tchyness

me: Sometimes it is indeed bitchiness. Your powers of observation astound me.

VThenameless1V: as they should

me: I'm astounded so much that I feel the deep, burning desire to sleep. May I dream of a world that does not have people who IM me looking for the secret to immortality existing in it.

VThenameless1V: you won't find it sucka

VThenameless1V: i'll im you in your sleep

me: Ghetto speak, too! I am amazed at your prowess. Please creep into my window in the dead of the night and seduce me with your DARK MIGHT (tm).

VThenameless1V: wow and hear i was thinking i was going to get to talk to girl who liked love craft and instaed i find mortal trying to where the shoes of exmortality

me: Was that English? Maybe I should run it through my Babelfish.

VThenameless1V: maybe you should find another place for it

me: hurr hurr hurr
You make funny.
Girl swoon at your feet.

TAKE ME NOW, DARK KING!!!!11!!

me: And that's what you get for looking for "exmortality" on the internet.

VThenameless1V: ohhhhh i'm sorry your supposed above average intelligence assumes that was funny

me: No assumptions here, sparky. I damn well KNOW I'm funny.

VThenameless1V: heres a candy go run home now little girl

me: I have been flamed. Oh me. Oh my. Whatever shall I do?

VThenameless1V: theres orange juice and gingersnaps waiting for ya

me: Mmmm. Dark nummies.

VThenameless1V: yup **pats head**

VThenameless1V: there there

VThenameless1V: do you want some flinstone chewable prozak?

me: You are a strange and loathsome fool. I have no more time for you now.

VThenameless1V: me neither but it was nice talking to you

me: Thank you, no. I can take my meds like a big girl now.

VThenameless1V: **bows**
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thejunipertree

January 2011

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