(no subject)

[thejunipertree]

The stupidest words and sayings really get on my nerves, though I can't fully explain why. It's as if they are physically assaulting my ears and it makes me want to jab people in the eye with the nearest sharp object.

Those of you who know me well have heard me rant about certain words and phrases before, so I'm sure that by now you're old hat at ignoring me when I get crazy about this.

However, I've got a new one: MOUTH FEEL.

I'll even use it in a sentence for you. "That peanut butter has a slightly gritty mouth feel to it."

What the blithering fuck?

Isn't there a better way of comunicating that the fucking peanut butter tastes like someone threw a handful of sand in it?

Mouth feel. The mouth feel of food. As opposed to the fucking finger feel or foot feel or throat feel or eyeball feel. FOOD GOES IN YOUR MOUTH, WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU BE FEELING IT?!

Hey, here's an idea. How about using the word TEXTURE to describe the TEXTURE of whatever it is that you're currently shovelling into your gaping piehole?!




I'm irrational, I'm well aware of this.



cup
yummy
delicious (or even worse, delish)
fantastic
plump
nasal
purport
Go-gurt (it's a brand name of portable yogurt in a tube, don't even get me started on that inane shit)
chalky
lettuce
panties
underwear
gal
folks
macaroni (my mother uses this to describe every single pasta known to man and it makes me shriek)
vag (hip new term for cutting edge girls instead of saying 'vagina')
bulk
dine
faculty
clop
clause
natch (instead of naturally)
dollars to donuts
soup to nuts
coulda woulda shoulda
He/She is good people.



I know I've been through this all before, I know.

To counter my negativity, the best word in the world still is and will forever remain: SPIGOT.

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[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

I have hearts for you, mister!