(no subject)
Feb. 13th, 2004 02:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thejunipertreeThe stupidest words and sayings really get on my nerves, though I can't fully explain why. It's as if they are physically assaulting my ears and it makes me want to jab people in the eye with the nearest sharp object.
Those of you who know me well have heard me rant about certain words and phrases before, so I'm sure that by now you're old hat at ignoring me when I get crazy about this.
However, I've got a new one: MOUTH FEEL.
I'll even use it in a sentence for you. "That peanut butter has a slightly gritty mouth feel to it."
What the blithering fuck?
Isn't there a better way of comunicating that the fucking peanut butter tastes like someone threw a handful of sand in it?
Mouth feel. The mouth feel of food. As opposed to the fucking finger feel or foot feel or throat feel or eyeball feel. FOOD GOES IN YOUR MOUTH, WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU BE FEELING IT?!
Hey, here's an idea. How about using the word TEXTURE to describe the TEXTURE of whatever it is that you're currently shovelling into your gaping piehole?!
I'm irrational, I'm well aware of this.
cup
yummy
delicious (or even worse, delish)
fantastic
plump
nasal
purport
Go-gurt (it's a brand name of portable yogurt in a tube, don't even get me started on that inane shit)
chalky
lettuce
panties
underwear
gal
folks
macaroni (my mother uses this to describe every single pasta known to man and it makes me shriek)
vag (hip new term for cutting edge girls instead of saying 'vagina')
bulk
dine
faculty
clop
clause
natch (instead of naturally)
dollars to donuts
soup to nuts
coulda woulda shoulda
He/She is good people.
I know I've been through this all before, I know.
To counter my negativity, the best word in the world still is and will forever remain: SPIGOT.
Those of you who know me well have heard me rant about certain words and phrases before, so I'm sure that by now you're old hat at ignoring me when I get crazy about this.
However, I've got a new one: MOUTH FEEL.
I'll even use it in a sentence for you. "That peanut butter has a slightly gritty mouth feel to it."
What the blithering fuck?
Isn't there a better way of comunicating that the fucking peanut butter tastes like someone threw a handful of sand in it?
Mouth feel. The mouth feel of food. As opposed to the fucking finger feel or foot feel or throat feel or eyeball feel. FOOD GOES IN YOUR MOUTH, WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU BE FEELING IT?!
Hey, here's an idea. How about using the word TEXTURE to describe the TEXTURE of whatever it is that you're currently shovelling into your gaping piehole?!
I'm irrational, I'm well aware of this.
cup
yummy
delicious (or even worse, delish)
fantastic
plump
nasal
purport
Go-gurt (it's a brand name of portable yogurt in a tube, don't even get me started on that inane shit)
chalky
lettuce
panties
underwear
gal
folks
macaroni (my mother uses this to describe every single pasta known to man and it makes me shriek)
vag (hip new term for cutting edge girls instead of saying 'vagina')
bulk
dine
faculty
clop
clause
natch (instead of naturally)
dollars to donuts
soup to nuts
coulda woulda shoulda
He/She is good people.
I know I've been through this all before, I know.
To counter my negativity, the best word in the world still is and will forever remain: SPIGOT.
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(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-13 12:57 am (UTC)heh.
nothing like wet and chalky in a cup to give you a bad mouth feel and a case of the shivers.
Re: STINKPUSS!
Date: 2004-02-13 01:07 am (UTC)Re: STINKPUSS!
Date: 2004-02-13 07:20 am (UTC)Wow
Date: 2004-02-13 01:14 am (UTC)Re: Wow
Date: 2004-02-13 01:19 am (UTC)Most of my issues have never even be voiced in person, let alone on LJ. I'll go to my grave with most of them. ;P
Re: Wow
Date: 2004-02-13 06:35 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-13 01:22 am (UTC)Hey motherfucker, GNW has 5 sylables where Gun Shot Wound only has 3! Yeah, I'm anal. Just don't give me the ammunition ...
Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 11:57 pm (UTC)Kind of like how saying "world wide web" takes less time to say then "www".
Re:
Date: 2004-02-14 04:52 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-15 02:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-13 02:36 am (UTC)Words I really detest are (in no particular order):
lush
sublime
smorgasbord
people who say "aks" instead of ask. It might be a british ethnic minority thing.
spunk
gotten
and having read halfway through Crash by J G Ballard, and probably no further, I'll have to add pubis to that list.
What the blithering fuck?
That is going to be added to my list of favourite sayings. I don't actually have a list... I may have to start one.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 11:59 pm (UTC)Oh no, that's an American thing too.
Specifically in ghetto communities, whatever ethnic background they may be (though usually white and black).
Sublime also makes me want to choke people. It's used far too often in love songs.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-13 04:26 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 11:59 pm (UTC);)
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-13 05:36 am (UTC)Supper
Dungarees
"parm" for parmigiana
"carbs" for carbohydrates
"gig" for job
there are many more, but these just make me want to poke eyes and cut tongues out of mouths. And Folks, which you mentioned, is probably the single most irritating word ever uttered.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-13 07:19 am (UTC)i've never been able to handle the word the same since.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-14 12:05 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-14 12:01 am (UTC)I'm guilty of 'carbs', though. Specifically because I'm on Atkins right now and 'carbohydrates' is a bad word because of the O in it. I hate things like that. 'Carbo'. BLARGH!
eat shit and explain to me its mouthfeel
as for the main one i have to use it in a sentance ,ok lets try it
Does my cock have a chalky mouthfeel?
see it just doesent sound right in a sentance.what you should try to do is replace these words with others, like lettuce can be that green shit beside the steak. and both gal and vag can be replaced with cunt. instead of plump try morbidly obese, and he/she is good people, should be replaced with the old salty tattoo term ,,he/she is a fucking cocksucker,you can also replace nasel with, talks like a fucking filthy jersey girl why arent they all dead yet,,but it doesent allways fit well in conversation. oh yea and anyone who actually eats go gurt should be able to explain what the barrel of a guns mouthfeel is like right before they are shot. hopw this can help you thru yopur day a bit
Re: eat shit and explain to me its mouthfeel
Date: 2004-02-14 12:02 am (UTC)Pardon me, young sir.
But, it would appear that you've forgotten that you are speaking to one of those fucking filthy Jersey girls. >:O
Re: eat shit and explain to me its mouthfeel
Date: 2004-02-14 08:14 am (UTC)Re: eat shit and explain to me its mouthfeel
Date: 2004-02-15 02:49 pm (UTC)Re: eat shit and explain to me its mouthfeel
Date: 2004-02-16 03:52 am (UTC)Blithering fuck
Date: 2004-02-13 09:47 am (UTC)Re: Blithering fuck
Date: 2004-02-14 12:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-13 02:44 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-14 12:04 am (UTC)FOOTINYOURASS!
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-13 06:43 pm (UTC)i've got one more to add:
smarmy
I HATE that fucker.
and of this snoop dogg ebonics shit--has to go-- excuse me, is it 'shizzle'?
(*goes into a conniption fit*)
aaaarrgfhhhhhh...need...to chop off hands..now..
i also am signing up as a fan of 'blithering fuck'.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-14 12:04 am (UTC)smarmy
What's even worse then the word smarmy is the people who ARE smarmy. Because it makes me think of the word. grr.
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-14 09:46 am (UTC)the problem with words is that most people son't use them effectively...myslef included....
Re:
Date: 2004-02-15 02:50 pm (UTC)For instance, YOU saying: "Are we now going to repair to the diner?"
(no subject)
Date: 2004-02-14 11:00 pm (UTC)i seem to recall listening to you rant about that word for a good half hour.
Re:
Date: 2004-02-15 02:51 pm (UTC)I completely forgot to add that one.