You don't need an ambulance...

I've made the decision to go back to college.

*whew!*

The idea has been turning over in my head for
quite some time. Way back when, I did attend
school. But, it was art school and a stinky one,
at that. Furthermore, I was tremendously messed
up on various drugs and emotional/mental problems.
So, I wound up dropping out.

Now, I've made the step to go back. Just not
to that school. This one is going to be Mercer
County College in Trenton. Which will be keen
because the Engineer has applied for the bronze
foundry which is up in that city. So, my fears
of not being able to see him as much will be
slightly diminished.

I'm going for mortuary sciences. How very
sp00ky. But, it is something which I have a
great interest in. Especially the restorative
arts part of it.

I'm going to be a mortician. :)

Things have been quiet, for the most part.
Which the exception of me going on profanity
full rants of how much I dislike certain people
whom I have the joy of working with.

Not only that, but the Orphan has not contacted
me in any way, shape, or form since his last
email stating he wasn't contacting me anymore.

B. O. O. H. O. O.

I'm still quite angry over the things which he
said, the things he accused me of. I do not lie.
I am not a liar. If I didn't want to take that
road trip to Wisconsin, then I would have said so.
But, the fact of the matter is that my car was
not repaired in time (the mechanic died). And I
wasn't able to get my license in time. The Wee
One went, despite all of this, catching a ride
with an ex of hers. He didn't want to listen to
any of this. So instead, I was branded a liar.
My scarlet letter to be worn, I suppose. I don't
really care.

I've been feeling strange and out of sorts lately,
which prompts the Engineer to ask me if something
is wrong. He says I look like something is
bothering me. Which something usually is, but it's
rarely, if ever, having anything to do with him.
Things just bother me, I'm too sensitive to
what's around me.

Like last night, I was turning over in my head
something that the Hearse Girl had written in
her Netscrape on AG in response to "Do you have
a webpage?" Her answer was "No, webpages attract
fat chicks."

Which bothers me. Because originally, that's
how Richard and I met. I saw his webpage (taken
from the URL in his .sig on AG) and I emailed
him about it, since there was no guestbook.
And her comment makes me wonder if it was directed
towards me. Or if it was just a usual, snarky
Hearse Girl comment (for which she is known
for). It still bothers me, because it makes me
wonder what he's told her about me.

I shouldn't care. But, I still do. For as much
as I talk about not caring what people say about
me, I still do. It hurts to know that I've been
talked badly about. Especially when I've done
nothing to warrant it. Which, in this case at
least, I haven't.

*sighs*
Oh well. Such is life, I would reckon.