ever again

Backsliding into a depression, completely against my will.

I don't want to feel like this. I'm tired of it. Why do I have to constantly feel like I'm running into walls? And here I thought that over the past few weeks, I had been starting to do better.

So, why the fuck do I feel like this? Helpless. Hopeless. Unwanted. Unwanting.

Filthy. Stupid. A shapeless lump with no thought and no will.

Why do I feel like this? I don't WANT to. I want it to go away.

I want everything to go away.

paint it black and white and easy

Brother Brown's "Under the Water" playing. Strawberries almost the size of my head being eaten. Godiva dark chocolate that I've stashed away in my desk. Tardblog filed away for future laughs.

I'm beginning to feel almost human again.

Almost. Don't get out the ticker tape for a parade just yet.