ever again

[thejunipertree]

Backsliding into a depression, completely against my will.

I don't want to feel like this. I'm tired of it. Why do I have to constantly feel like I'm running into walls? And here I thought that over the past few weeks, I had been starting to do better.

So, why the fuck do I feel like this? Helpless. Hopeless. Unwanted. Unwanting.

Filthy. Stupid. A shapeless lump with no thought and no will.

Why do I feel like this? I don't WANT to. I want it to go away.

I want everything to go away.

Comments

[mondae.livejournal.com]

Filthy. Stupid. A shapeless lump with no thought and no will.

I take it you do know that these things are not at all true.

But in case you're wondering, they are most assuredly NOT.

Life is quite asstastic for you right now. I think you are doing an amazing good job of Keeping Your Shit Together.

Perhaps a little tardly (http://www.tardblog.com/) fun will help.

Hang in there, Tara Love.

[hexennacht.livejournal.com]

partick is right, they called you tara LOVE for a reason. i babbled on about you to my mom all morning during shopping.. i'm trying to teach her to flip people off and shout, "I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!" on the road. she said you sound like quite a character.

hey, you figured out the proper way to knit. that's got to count for something. i love you, and that's one hell of a feat to manage, y'ol' biyatch. i bet taking a walk would make you feel better. yell obnoxious things indiscriminately. write haiku and send it to your coworkers. punch me. c'mon, it'll be fun.

[aprilrobin.livejournal.com]

I utterly and completely understand.

L:O

[vivaemptiness.livejournal.com]

pleh, i've been thinking a lot of those thoughts lately too. but then i remembered 2 things which may or may not be applicable:

* PMS IS A GODLESS WHORING THIEVING BUTTFUCKING PUPPYKILLING BITCH FROM HELL.

* winter is REALLY rough on crazy ppl. well, crazy ppl that i know anyway. =D
it's so dark and bleak. i mean, i love winter. but it's hell on my sanity. i never go in the sun (horrors!) but somehow long, bright days make me feel a lot better.

it's not you, hon. helpless hopeless losers do not send cute haiku :D

[theepumpkingirl.livejournal.com]

mayhap this is what we felt coming on a few weeks ago.
i woke up today miserable, for many and no good reasons.

even did that thing where i decided i wasn't going
to go to work, ignored the phone when they called
at the point of me being a half hour late.
a million possible explanations flaashing in my head
i could feed them on another day as to why
i dissapeared and didn't call.
finally i snapped and got dressed and just told
them i got held up at the bank. har.har.

over all for me it feels like a panic mixed in despair.

i love you, i'm sure we'll be swell.

c'mon in, the water's fine...