ever again

[thejunipertree]

Backsliding into a depression, completely against my will.

I don't want to feel like this. I'm tired of it. Why do I have to constantly feel like I'm running into walls? And here I thought that over the past few weeks, I had been starting to do better.

So, why the fuck do I feel like this? Helpless. Hopeless. Unwanted. Unwanting.

Filthy. Stupid. A shapeless lump with no thought and no will.

Why do I feel like this? I don't WANT to. I want it to go away.

I want everything to go away.

Comments

[theepumpkingirl.livejournal.com]

mayhap this is what we felt coming on a few weeks ago.
i woke up today miserable, for many and no good reasons.

even did that thing where i decided i wasn't going
to go to work, ignored the phone when they called
at the point of me being a half hour late.
a million possible explanations flaashing in my head
i could feed them on another day as to why
i dissapeared and didn't call.
finally i snapped and got dressed and just told
them i got held up at the bank. har.har.

over all for me it feels like a panic mixed in despair.

i love you, i'm sure we'll be swell.

c'mon in, the water's fine...