dumb, dumb, dumb

[thejunipertree]

This is one of the stupidest quizzes I've ever taken. And I don't even know why I filled it out. Yay, ennui.



Have You Ever:
1. Been raped in prison? no
2. Been Molested by a close relative? no
3. Been molested by a priest? no
4. Worn your partner's underwear to work? no
5. Considered self-amputation of a limb? yes
6. Put any non-human living thing into your rectum? no
7. Had sex with someone for money? no
8. Enjoyed "Crack," "Bodybag," or "Ice"? I enjoy crack on a dailly basis
9. Bought liquor for someone profoundly under-age? yes
10: Taken advantage of above person after they were drunk? yes
11. Flown an airplane into a commercial building? don't piss me off, or I'll fly a plane into your house BITCH
12. Killed a baby? no, but you can be goddamn sure that if I ever were to get sperm poisoned, the damn thing would never see the light of day

Favorites:
13. Racial slur: moon cricket, because I can't figure out where it came from
14. Religious war: the Crusades
15. Act of genocide? my war on the ants
16. Evil fanatical despot? Idi Amin
17. "Friends" cast member? no
18. Animal to be killed by? SHARKS
19: Hideously-deforming disease? leperosy
20. Designer drug? E
21. "White Power" musical band? the People Haters (they do "Nazi Ska" which is one of the funniest fucking songs I've ever heard. Nazis. Doing Ska music? C'mon! It's FUNNY.
22. Murder Weapon? cyanide
23. Insanely-rich industrial CEO? Jebus
24. Unnatural sexual act? furries

Either/Or:
25. Electric chair or lethal injection? lethal injection
26. Nazis or KKK? the Nazis had better fashion sense
27. Rape or murder? murder
28. Kittens or puppies? kittens
29. "Beetlejuice" or "High-Pitch Eric?" Beetlejuice. What's a High-Pitch Eric?
30. "Soccer Mom" or "Military Dad?" Military Dad
31. Saddam Hussain or Osama bin Laden? CARRIE BIN LADEN
32. Pro-Choice or Pro-Jesus? pro-choice
33. Tobacco or alcohol? tobacco
I deleted number 34 on purpose
35. The Pope: outdated fossil or senile embarrassment? I <3 the Pope. I do. No, really.
36. Rich powermonger or famous halfwit? rich powermonger

In The Last 24 Hrs Have You:
37. Called a live talk show for the purpose of saying "Howard Stern?" no.
38. Uttered a racial slur? no
39. Molested a child? no
40. Molested an adult who was dressed as a child? no. Oh wait...no.
41. Gotten an abortion? no
42. Assaulted a homosexual? my friend, The Priest They Called Him
43. Mugged a senior citizen? no
44. Done an unflattering impression of someone from another culture? in the last 24 hours? no.
45. Hired a prostitute? no
46. Sold a baby on the black market? no
47. Stolen items from your job? I am one unemployed bitch.
48. Used a vacuum, hamster or electric toothbrush in a manner not intended? no

If You Could, Would You?:
49. Give yourself oral sex? no
50. Give ME oral sex? did Blotto write this quiz, Carrie?
51. Exterminate an entire culture? Headbangers
52. Get away with murder? yes
53. Marry someone old and rich solely for the inheritance potential? yes
54. Become a cop if you could indulge in risk-free brutality? YES
55. Attend a public execution? yes
56. Assassinate a world leader to impress a movie star? yes
57. Kill for Jesus? CLUB A GAY BABY HARP SEAL FOR JEBUS
58. Have sex with someone you didn't respect for anything other than their good looks? already have

Do You:
59. Dislike a specific culture for irrational reasons? Wiccans
60. Like to watch old people as they have intercourse? no
61. Enjoy exposing yourself to children? I hate kids
62. Take things that don't belong to you? no, except at a job
63. Lie compulsively to impress strangers with a life you wish don't actually lead? no
64. Masturbate while watching people out your window? I sleep in a closet. It has no windows.
65. Masturbate while peeking into someone else's window? no
66. Complete online surveys for fun, or for vanity? boredom
67. Glorify suicide as artistic expression? yes
68. Laugh when overhearing a couple's heated argument? you betcha. I saw a deaf couple fighting once, in sign language. I laughed for days.
69. I STAB YOUR FACE!

Comments

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

nazi ska?
i'm trying to imagine a bunch of swastika'ed skinheads skanking and being rude boys.

It's HYSTERICAL.
I'm not one who much likes racial slurs as comedy, but that song cracks me up every time I hear it. Mostly because it's just so ridiculous. Oh, and instead of the "pick it up! pick it up!" that rude boys do, the People Haters say "jigaboo! jigaboo!"

You know that they had to spend hours listening to ska to get the right style. And you /know/ that it absolutely killed them to do it.

I used to have two of their songs on tape, from my long stint as token goth girl rooming with a couple of trad skins. But, the tape has sadly gone the way of the dodo.

to something like 'yom yom bumblebee tuna!' by mephiskapheles.

OMG.
Mephiskapheles is, like, one of the best ska bands ever!

I love them.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

*replying to my own post is retarded-like*

I just realised how dopey that post sounded.

I need to lay off the chai so late at night...

[peet.livejournal.com]

or quit snorting the chai powder that carrie claims that borders chai is made from...!

though if i had some of that laying around, that would probably be one of the stupid things i would do with it

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

or quit snorting the chai powder that carrie claims that borders chai is made from...!

That's where I got it from, too.
And it /is/ made of powder!
I know numerous cafe workers at my local Borders, they give me all the top sekrit sekrits.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

that's right, peet. so fuck you. fuck you right in your ear.

[peet.livejournal.com]

I WILL POP YOUR HEAD LIKE A RAISIN.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

you can't really pop raisins, stupid asian. go eat McRicePatty.

[peet.livejournal.com]

Oh, and instead of the "pick it up! pick it up!" that rude boys do, the People Haters say "jigaboo! jigaboo!"

i knew it had to be something stupid :D oh well, the n word doesn't have three syllables; gotta love racist creativity.

I used to have two of their songs on tape, from my long stint as token goth girl rooming with a couple of trad skins. But, the tape has sadly gone the way of the dodo.

doh. now i absolutely must hear it, and i will probably never find it on kazaa.

OMG.
Mephiskapheles is, like, one of the best ska bands ever!

heh!
i only ever heard god bless satan. i still slap it in the stereo when i want to annoy the college kids living in my building. funniest ska i ever heard, and great smoking music to boot.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

i knew it had to be something stupid :D oh well, the n word doesn't have three syllables; gotta love racist creativity.

They also throw in "jew!" every so often in the song, too. Usually said by the one doofus in the band who is out of rhythm with the rest of them. Makes for even more comedy, you can tell he's the big dumb ass of the group.

And for the life of me, I can NOT remember what the actual act of saying "pick it up! pick it up!" in a song is called. grrrr.


doh. now i absolutely must hear it, and i will probably never find it on kazaa.

I just found it on WinMX, if you like I can send you the file.

heh!
i only ever heard god bless satan. i still slap it in the stereo when i want to annoy the college kids living in my building. funniest ska i ever heard, and great smoking music to boot.

My old roommates saw them in concert once. I still kick myself for not attending, as well.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

i will also be liking the file, miss.

[peet.livejournal.com]

And for the life of me, I can NOT remember what the actual act of saying "pick it up! pick it up!" in a song is called. grrrr.

"screaming like a blithering retard?"
i always thought that they wanted me to pick trash up off the floor or something... i dunno

I just found it on WinMX, if you like I can send you the file.

:D
fresh my lj, see protected post.
you too, carrie.