dumb, dumb, dumb

[thejunipertree]

This is one of the stupidest quizzes I've ever taken. And I don't even know why I filled it out. Yay, ennui.



Have You Ever:
1. Been raped in prison? no
2. Been Molested by a close relative? no
3. Been molested by a priest? no
4. Worn your partner's underwear to work? no
5. Considered self-amputation of a limb? yes
6. Put any non-human living thing into your rectum? no
7. Had sex with someone for money? no
8. Enjoyed "Crack," "Bodybag," or "Ice"? I enjoy crack on a dailly basis
9. Bought liquor for someone profoundly under-age? yes
10: Taken advantage of above person after they were drunk? yes
11. Flown an airplane into a commercial building? don't piss me off, or I'll fly a plane into your house BITCH
12. Killed a baby? no, but you can be goddamn sure that if I ever were to get sperm poisoned, the damn thing would never see the light of day

Favorites:
13. Racial slur: moon cricket, because I can't figure out where it came from
14. Religious war: the Crusades
15. Act of genocide? my war on the ants
16. Evil fanatical despot? Idi Amin
17. "Friends" cast member? no
18. Animal to be killed by? SHARKS
19: Hideously-deforming disease? leperosy
20. Designer drug? E
21. "White Power" musical band? the People Haters (they do "Nazi Ska" which is one of the funniest fucking songs I've ever heard. Nazis. Doing Ska music? C'mon! It's FUNNY.
22. Murder Weapon? cyanide
23. Insanely-rich industrial CEO? Jebus
24. Unnatural sexual act? furries

Either/Or:
25. Electric chair or lethal injection? lethal injection
26. Nazis or KKK? the Nazis had better fashion sense
27. Rape or murder? murder
28. Kittens or puppies? kittens
29. "Beetlejuice" or "High-Pitch Eric?" Beetlejuice. What's a High-Pitch Eric?
30. "Soccer Mom" or "Military Dad?" Military Dad
31. Saddam Hussain or Osama bin Laden? CARRIE BIN LADEN
32. Pro-Choice or Pro-Jesus? pro-choice
33. Tobacco or alcohol? tobacco
I deleted number 34 on purpose
35. The Pope: outdated fossil or senile embarrassment? I <3 the Pope. I do. No, really.
36. Rich powermonger or famous halfwit? rich powermonger

In The Last 24 Hrs Have You:
37. Called a live talk show for the purpose of saying "Howard Stern?" no.
38. Uttered a racial slur? no
39. Molested a child? no
40. Molested an adult who was dressed as a child? no. Oh wait...no.
41. Gotten an abortion? no
42. Assaulted a homosexual? my friend, The Priest They Called Him
43. Mugged a senior citizen? no
44. Done an unflattering impression of someone from another culture? in the last 24 hours? no.
45. Hired a prostitute? no
46. Sold a baby on the black market? no
47. Stolen items from your job? I am one unemployed bitch.
48. Used a vacuum, hamster or electric toothbrush in a manner not intended? no

If You Could, Would You?:
49. Give yourself oral sex? no
50. Give ME oral sex? did Blotto write this quiz, Carrie?
51. Exterminate an entire culture? Headbangers
52. Get away with murder? yes
53. Marry someone old and rich solely for the inheritance potential? yes
54. Become a cop if you could indulge in risk-free brutality? YES
55. Attend a public execution? yes
56. Assassinate a world leader to impress a movie star? yes
57. Kill for Jesus? CLUB A GAY BABY HARP SEAL FOR JEBUS
58. Have sex with someone you didn't respect for anything other than their good looks? already have

Do You:
59. Dislike a specific culture for irrational reasons? Wiccans
60. Like to watch old people as they have intercourse? no
61. Enjoy exposing yourself to children? I hate kids
62. Take things that don't belong to you? no, except at a job
63. Lie compulsively to impress strangers with a life you wish don't actually lead? no
64. Masturbate while watching people out your window? I sleep in a closet. It has no windows.
65. Masturbate while peeking into someone else's window? no
66. Complete online surveys for fun, or for vanity? boredom
67. Glorify suicide as artistic expression? yes
68. Laugh when overhearing a couple's heated argument? you betcha. I saw a deaf couple fighting once, in sign language. I laughed for days.
69. I STAB YOUR FACE!

Comments

[peet.livejournal.com]

nazi ska?
i'm trying to imagine a bunch of swastika'ed skinheads skanking and being rude boys. to something like 'yom yom bumblebee tuna!' by mephiskapheles.

but i can't believe that the world actually got that intolerable behind my back

[(Anonymous)]

You removed the disclaimer posted at top by the creator. You know, that sentence that says it should be included with distribution? You also removed the creator, which is not-cool -- to say the least.

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Well, you could always try the "Gen-X Survey" I developed by modifying that silly survey that's circulating aimed at high-school students. Most of the questions there don't relate to Gen-X folks, so I replaced them with a few that do.

[vanilla-christ.livejournal.com]

If you'd actually read the subtext, you would know it wasn't designed to be a "real" survey, as much as it was designed to be a direct parody of all those other churlish high-schooly surveys that wander aimlesly about the internet. It was a stand-alone joke, didn't really require being filled out... though I knew that eventually it would be circulated and filled out anyway.

So, regardless of whether or not you feel it was designed to be non-PC for it's own sake, and as stupid as you may see it, YOU filled it out and posted the response... so that kind of makes you part of the joke, doesn't it?

Oh ha-ha and owie; you're all so funny and i'm so anonymously hurt. *NOT*

[(Anonymous)]

"her mom has cancer, cut her a break already!"

although the self-amused combative drivel being offered is equally as empty, and equally as weak.

everyone so quick to mount some kind of "superiority of cool" attack rather than *SIMPLY* addressing the actual issue.

you know: credit.