dumb, dumb, dumb

[thejunipertree]

This is one of the stupidest quizzes I've ever taken. And I don't even know why I filled it out. Yay, ennui.



Have You Ever:
1. Been raped in prison? no
2. Been Molested by a close relative? no
3. Been molested by a priest? no
4. Worn your partner's underwear to work? no
5. Considered self-amputation of a limb? yes
6. Put any non-human living thing into your rectum? no
7. Had sex with someone for money? no
8. Enjoyed "Crack," "Bodybag," or "Ice"? I enjoy crack on a dailly basis
9. Bought liquor for someone profoundly under-age? yes
10: Taken advantage of above person after they were drunk? yes
11. Flown an airplane into a commercial building? don't piss me off, or I'll fly a plane into your house BITCH
12. Killed a baby? no, but you can be goddamn sure that if I ever were to get sperm poisoned, the damn thing would never see the light of day

Favorites:
13. Racial slur: moon cricket, because I can't figure out where it came from
14. Religious war: the Crusades
15. Act of genocide? my war on the ants
16. Evil fanatical despot? Idi Amin
17. "Friends" cast member? no
18. Animal to be killed by? SHARKS
19: Hideously-deforming disease? leperosy
20. Designer drug? E
21. "White Power" musical band? the People Haters (they do "Nazi Ska" which is one of the funniest fucking songs I've ever heard. Nazis. Doing Ska music? C'mon! It's FUNNY.
22. Murder Weapon? cyanide
23. Insanely-rich industrial CEO? Jebus
24. Unnatural sexual act? furries

Either/Or:
25. Electric chair or lethal injection? lethal injection
26. Nazis or KKK? the Nazis had better fashion sense
27. Rape or murder? murder
28. Kittens or puppies? kittens
29. "Beetlejuice" or "High-Pitch Eric?" Beetlejuice. What's a High-Pitch Eric?
30. "Soccer Mom" or "Military Dad?" Military Dad
31. Saddam Hussain or Osama bin Laden? CARRIE BIN LADEN
32. Pro-Choice or Pro-Jesus? pro-choice
33. Tobacco or alcohol? tobacco
I deleted number 34 on purpose
35. The Pope: outdated fossil or senile embarrassment? I <3 the Pope. I do. No, really.
36. Rich powermonger or famous halfwit? rich powermonger

In The Last 24 Hrs Have You:
37. Called a live talk show for the purpose of saying "Howard Stern?" no.
38. Uttered a racial slur? no
39. Molested a child? no
40. Molested an adult who was dressed as a child? no. Oh wait...no.
41. Gotten an abortion? no
42. Assaulted a homosexual? my friend, The Priest They Called Him
43. Mugged a senior citizen? no
44. Done an unflattering impression of someone from another culture? in the last 24 hours? no.
45. Hired a prostitute? no
46. Sold a baby on the black market? no
47. Stolen items from your job? I am one unemployed bitch.
48. Used a vacuum, hamster or electric toothbrush in a manner not intended? no

If You Could, Would You?:
49. Give yourself oral sex? no
50. Give ME oral sex? did Blotto write this quiz, Carrie?
51. Exterminate an entire culture? Headbangers
52. Get away with murder? yes
53. Marry someone old and rich solely for the inheritance potential? yes
54. Become a cop if you could indulge in risk-free brutality? YES
55. Attend a public execution? yes
56. Assassinate a world leader to impress a movie star? yes
57. Kill for Jesus? CLUB A GAY BABY HARP SEAL FOR JEBUS
58. Have sex with someone you didn't respect for anything other than their good looks? already have

Do You:
59. Dislike a specific culture for irrational reasons? Wiccans
60. Like to watch old people as they have intercourse? no
61. Enjoy exposing yourself to children? I hate kids
62. Take things that don't belong to you? no, except at a job
63. Lie compulsively to impress strangers with a life you wish don't actually lead? no
64. Masturbate while watching people out your window? I sleep in a closet. It has no windows.
65. Masturbate while peeking into someone else's window? no
66. Complete online surveys for fun, or for vanity? boredom
67. Glorify suicide as artistic expression? yes
68. Laugh when overhearing a couple's heated argument? you betcha. I saw a deaf couple fighting once, in sign language. I laughed for days.
69. I STAB YOUR FACE!

Comments

[peet.livejournal.com]

nazi ska?
i'm trying to imagine a bunch of swastika'ed skinheads skanking and being rude boys. to something like 'yom yom bumblebee tuna!' by mephiskapheles.

but i can't believe that the world actually got that intolerable behind my back

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

nazi ska?
i'm trying to imagine a bunch of swastika'ed skinheads skanking and being rude boys.

It's HYSTERICAL.
I'm not one who much likes racial slurs as comedy, but that song cracks me up every time I hear it. Mostly because it's just so ridiculous. Oh, and instead of the "pick it up! pick it up!" that rude boys do, the People Haters say "jigaboo! jigaboo!"

You know that they had to spend hours listening to ska to get the right style. And you /know/ that it absolutely killed them to do it.

I used to have two of their songs on tape, from my long stint as token goth girl rooming with a couple of trad skins. But, the tape has sadly gone the way of the dodo.

to something like 'yom yom bumblebee tuna!' by mephiskapheles.

OMG.
Mephiskapheles is, like, one of the best ska bands ever!

I love them.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

*replying to my own post is retarded-like*

I just realised how dopey that post sounded.

I need to lay off the chai so late at night...

[peet.livejournal.com]

or quit snorting the chai powder that carrie claims that borders chai is made from...!

though if i had some of that laying around, that would probably be one of the stupid things i would do with it

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

or quit snorting the chai powder that carrie claims that borders chai is made from...!

That's where I got it from, too.
And it /is/ made of powder!
I know numerous cafe workers at my local Borders, they give me all the top sekrit sekrits.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

that's right, peet. so fuck you. fuck you right in your ear.

[peet.livejournal.com]

I WILL POP YOUR HEAD LIKE A RAISIN.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

you can't really pop raisins, stupid asian. go eat McRicePatty.

[peet.livejournal.com]

Oh, and instead of the "pick it up! pick it up!" that rude boys do, the People Haters say "jigaboo! jigaboo!"

i knew it had to be something stupid :D oh well, the n word doesn't have three syllables; gotta love racist creativity.

I used to have two of their songs on tape, from my long stint as token goth girl rooming with a couple of trad skins. But, the tape has sadly gone the way of the dodo.

doh. now i absolutely must hear it, and i will probably never find it on kazaa.

OMG.
Mephiskapheles is, like, one of the best ska bands ever!

heh!
i only ever heard god bless satan. i still slap it in the stereo when i want to annoy the college kids living in my building. funniest ska i ever heard, and great smoking music to boot.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

i knew it had to be something stupid :D oh well, the n word doesn't have three syllables; gotta love racist creativity.

They also throw in "jew!" every so often in the song, too. Usually said by the one doofus in the band who is out of rhythm with the rest of them. Makes for even more comedy, you can tell he's the big dumb ass of the group.

And for the life of me, I can NOT remember what the actual act of saying "pick it up! pick it up!" in a song is called. grrrr.


doh. now i absolutely must hear it, and i will probably never find it on kazaa.

I just found it on WinMX, if you like I can send you the file.

heh!
i only ever heard god bless satan. i still slap it in the stereo when i want to annoy the college kids living in my building. funniest ska i ever heard, and great smoking music to boot.

My old roommates saw them in concert once. I still kick myself for not attending, as well.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

i will also be liking the file, miss.

[peet.livejournal.com]

And for the life of me, I can NOT remember what the actual act of saying "pick it up! pick it up!" in a song is called. grrrr.

"screaming like a blithering retard?"
i always thought that they wanted me to pick trash up off the floor or something... i dunno

I just found it on WinMX, if you like I can send you the file.

:D
fresh my lj, see protected post.
you too, carrie.

[(Anonymous)]

You removed the disclaimer posted at top by the creator. You know, that sentence that says it should be included with distribution? You also removed the creator, which is not-cool -- to say the least.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

You removed the disclaimer posted at top by the creator. You know, that sentence that says it should be included with distribution? You also removed the creator, which is not-cool -- to say the least.

The person I copied it from had neither. Blame Peet.

Oh, you posted anonymously to my journal, which is also not cool.

Don't have an LJ and want to reply to one of my posts?
Sign your fricking name.

Have an LJ, but are too punk ass pussy to reply under your user name? (1.)
Write it on your TS slip and send it to the chaplain, coward.

(1.) The Wee One doesn't count.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

oh, peet? well, that all makes sense then. that chink is the source of all evil and oatmeal in the world. not to mention white fucking rice.

[peet.livejournal.com]

oh, everybody blames me already, what's a few more things i am not guilty of?

except the rice bit; i'm singlehandedly behind the whole rice thing. you heard it here first

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

that's probably because she got it from me.
and i removed the disclaimers, because i don't disclaim myself, and my friends probably don't, either.

so, hang us up and fry us. oh, please. i've had nothing to eat but corn and tunafish this week, and longpig would be a welcome change of pace.


xo.

[sophiaserpentia.livejournal.com]

Well, you could always try the "Gen-X Survey" I developed by modifying that silly survey that's circulating aimed at high-school students. Most of the questions there don't relate to Gen-X folks, so I replaced them with a few that do.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

I caught that whilst running through my friends list the other night, but couldn't decide whether I wanted to fill it out or not. I'm not too much of one to do surveys, lately. And the unPC one was just done out of sheer boredom.

I may take yours, though. Providing you don't start a flame war over rules that I had no clues about. ;)

[vanilla-christ.livejournal.com]

If you'd actually read the subtext, you would know it wasn't designed to be a "real" survey, as much as it was designed to be a direct parody of all those other churlish high-schooly surveys that wander aimlesly about the internet. It was a stand-alone joke, didn't really require being filled out... though I knew that eventually it would be circulated and filled out anyway.

So, regardless of whether or not you feel it was designed to be non-PC for it's own sake, and as stupid as you may see it, YOU filled it out and posted the response... so that kind of makes you part of the joke, doesn't it?

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

If you'd actually read the subtext, you would know it wasn't designed to be a "real" survey, as much as it was designed to be a direct parody of all those other churlish high-schooly surveys that wander aimlesly about the internet.

If you'd actually read my reply on this matter, you would know that I hadn't the faintest idea of any sort of disclaimer, ownership rights, or the proper usage of said survey.

I lifted it from Peet, who had no notice of any such thing. He lifted it from Carrie, who snipped everything out. God bless her Punk Rawk soul. I had no clue that it even /involved/ this sort of thing or even where it originated until your lovely little friend, Blackwing, decided to come into my journal spouting shit.

So, regardless of whether or not you feel it was designed to be non-PC for it's own sake, and as stupid as you may see it, YOU filled it out and posted the response... so that kind of makes you part of the joke, doesn't it?

All surveys are stupid. It's just a fact of life. Doesn't change the fact that I will, out of boredom, fill one up to suck up time.

And yes, it /does/ make me part of the joke. I am very well aware of this fact. I'm a spooky twat, but I'm not an /ignorant/ spooky twat.

[vanilla-christ.livejournal.com]

That all sounds fair enough, and I never said you were a twat, I don't even know you, I'm sure you're a very nice girl.

Blackwing, however, IS lovely, she's a lovely livewire. She recognizes the survey as a form of essay (she's been reading my essays for over a decade now), rather than a straight-up survey. Kinda falls into that grey area where it could be taken as either, and no one would be sure if the credit would be like an authorship... as it could fall under category of essay as well as "dumb survey" (and realy, if it's a survey it really is dumb, I agree). She thought it was clever, laughed hysterically, and then saw that the piece went IMMEDIATELY to "just another dumb survey" mode, therein completely losing it's worth as being a parody, the message totally lost (or in one case, it's perceived as some trite "brainchild" of mine, designed with the purpose of sexually arousing me with others' responses... and I've no idea where this line of logic comes from).

Seems like a big waste of time in retrospect... how can I possibly make fun of surveys, when everyone who circulates it THINKS this is a real survey? I should have known better. I think I over-estimated my audience.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

That all sounds fair enough, and I never said you were a twat, I don't even know you, I'm sure you're a very nice girl.

No, you did not. And I didn't mean to imply that you had.
Blackwing, however, did.

Seems like a big waste of time in retrospect... how can I possibly make fun of surveys, when everyone who circulates it THINKS this is a real survey? I should have known better. I think I over-estimated my audience.

'Whisper down the lane'.
Meaning, intent, and content all can become distorted when passed through
more than two people.

Not only that, but when something looks and talks and walks like a duck, people who have experience with prior ducks are going to call said something a duck.

Four hours of sleep gives you duck analogies.
/That/ is my brainchild.

Oh ha-ha and owie; you're all so funny and i'm so anonymously hurt. *NOT*

[(Anonymous)]

"her mom has cancer, cut her a break already!"

although the self-amused combative drivel being offered is equally as empty, and equally as weak.

everyone so quick to mount some kind of "superiority of cool" attack rather than *SIMPLY* addressing the actual issue.

you know: credit.

oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

i don't see what her mother has to do with this. YOUR mom, on the other hand..

Re: oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad.

[vanilla-christ.livejournal.com]

I have to say, this is really the dumbest thing in the world to be fighting and name-calling over, and I'm personally sorry I gave this so much more fuel than it deserved.

Read my posting a couple entries up, there's no point in reiterating.

Re: oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

if you do not wish to fight, don't throw down the gauntlet; you can't really wring your hands later, pissing and moaning about it.

i don't know you. i don't really care to know you. you're smart, i'm smart, we're all smart, circlejerk-clusterfuck. if you had wanted a different outcome, you should have done things a bit differently. you might also have advised your minions to act differently.

you have nobody but yourself (& your friends) to blame. i do hope you are appropriately contrite.

Re: oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad.

[vanilla-christ.livejournal.com]

you might also have advised your minions to act differently

My "minions" act as they see fit, not as I direct.

i do hope you are appropriately contrite.

Oh I'm no appologizing to you, nor would I imagine you would ever accept one - you seem more content to fight in general. I'm just seeing no point in fighting over this, nothing's going to get solved, and the topic is just pointless anyway.

I do appologize to the owner of THIS journal, however, I don't see what I could have to hold against her, in light of circumstances. Blackwing (you know her as my "Goon Squad" or my "Minions") has her own agenda and I'll not step on it.

Re: oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

My "minions" act as they see fit, not as I direct.

all well and good. however, when it is on your behalf, they represent you.

Oh I'm no appologizing to you, nor would I imagine you would ever accept one - you seem more content to fight in general. I'm just seeing no point in fighting over this, nothing's going to get solved, and the topic is just pointless anyway.

i am content, regardless. i am unsatisfied with your attempt to appear adult and mature after how you began. it's a nice switch, but it doesn't change how you acted before, and it doesn't change the fact that you garbaged up my journal after being asked to cease and desist. it doesn't change the fact that you've been casing journals. it doesn't change the fact that you insulted my friends within my journal. attempting to appear adult now is laughable. however, if you did see fit to apologize, i would see fit to accept it and continue ignoring you, content that you had at least attempted to make repairations.

Blackwing (you know her as my "Goon Squad" or my "Minions") has her own agenda and I'll not step on it.

i hope she takes care to insure that her agenda does not get her in trouble at work. you should be careful of who acts for your causes, whether you advise it, okay it, or not.

Re: oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad.

[vanilla-christ.livejournal.com]

i am unsatisfied with your attempt to appear adult and mature after how you began

Well then I suppose you're just going to have to learn how to live with your discouragement, and hope to live a long and beneficial life in the wake of my devestation. I just didn't want much more to do with you and this childish fight, the more you talk the more I feel as though you're from some other planet, and I don't wish to deal with insecure bullies such as yourself. You seem to enjoy inciting trouble and fighting the schoolyard fight from the comfortable anonymity of your internet persona, throwing out such witty retorts as "oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad," so I'll leave you to it, I have more important things to fight about with people far more detrimental to my life than yourself.

So now you should just get in the last word, high-five all your internet frat-buddies, and drown in your persecution complex. I'll do my best to bear the weight of your disapproval on my shoulders.

Re: oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

Well then I suppose you're just going to have to learn how to live with your discouragement

"unsatisfied", not "discouraged". read for comprehension.

I just didn't want much more to do with you and this childish fight

which is why you both helped to start it and won't shut the fuck up about it, of course.

and I don't wish to deal with insecure bullies such as yourself

you are incapable, regardless of how you truly feel.

You seem to enjoy inciting trouble

which is why you came to me. repeatedly. just so we have this straight.

the comfortable anonymity of your internet persona

my name is carrie lynne rasper, & i live in oak creek, wisconsin. let's rumble, rico.

oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad

although hardly prose, it's far superior to "you suck too".

So now you should just get in the last word

because if i don't, you "win", and if i do, you knew so, and you "win".
you are fucking retarded.

and drown in your persecution complex

your straw-man thanks you for playing, jigaboo.

incidentally..

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

you probably shouldn't be doing this from work, blackwing.

Re: incidentally..

[vanilla-christ.livejournal.com]

Don't you have Blackwing listed as one of your friends on your LJ?

Re: incidentally..

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

i did, indeed.

Re: Oh ha-ha and owie; you're all so funny and i'm so anonymously hurt. *NOT*

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

Hi, Little Miss Anonymous Blackwing.
How's the government job?


I'm going to say this once, with itty bitty words so you're sure to understand, okay?

If you had politely informed me of missing credit, instead of jumping the gun and accusing me of nastiness, then I would have quite happily inserted said disclaimer AND the proper authorship. However, you felt the need to be cunty. As well as feeling the need to name call (e.g. 'i'm so spooky twat' and 'cunt'.) without knowing anything of the actual situation at hand.

I also find it highly amusing that you
(1.) still insist upon anonymously posting.
(2.) accuse someone of "hot-topic-ennui" while using the handle of BLACKWING.

Thanks for playing.
Next!

denied.

[peet.livejournal.com]

in the future, please remember: when posting anonymously, it helps if you do not have the reverse lookup blaring your identity out over the intarweb. if you really want to be anonymous, that is.

we have a trough of lovely parting gifts for you, and a great big 'thank you!' for attempting to participate with us.