dumb, dumb, dumb

[thejunipertree]

This is one of the stupidest quizzes I've ever taken. And I don't even know why I filled it out. Yay, ennui.



Have You Ever:
1. Been raped in prison? no
2. Been Molested by a close relative? no
3. Been molested by a priest? no
4. Worn your partner's underwear to work? no
5. Considered self-amputation of a limb? yes
6. Put any non-human living thing into your rectum? no
7. Had sex with someone for money? no
8. Enjoyed "Crack," "Bodybag," or "Ice"? I enjoy crack on a dailly basis
9. Bought liquor for someone profoundly under-age? yes
10: Taken advantage of above person after they were drunk? yes
11. Flown an airplane into a commercial building? don't piss me off, or I'll fly a plane into your house BITCH
12. Killed a baby? no, but you can be goddamn sure that if I ever were to get sperm poisoned, the damn thing would never see the light of day

Favorites:
13. Racial slur: moon cricket, because I can't figure out where it came from
14. Religious war: the Crusades
15. Act of genocide? my war on the ants
16. Evil fanatical despot? Idi Amin
17. "Friends" cast member? no
18. Animal to be killed by? SHARKS
19: Hideously-deforming disease? leperosy
20. Designer drug? E
21. "White Power" musical band? the People Haters (they do "Nazi Ska" which is one of the funniest fucking songs I've ever heard. Nazis. Doing Ska music? C'mon! It's FUNNY.
22. Murder Weapon? cyanide
23. Insanely-rich industrial CEO? Jebus
24. Unnatural sexual act? furries

Either/Or:
25. Electric chair or lethal injection? lethal injection
26. Nazis or KKK? the Nazis had better fashion sense
27. Rape or murder? murder
28. Kittens or puppies? kittens
29. "Beetlejuice" or "High-Pitch Eric?" Beetlejuice. What's a High-Pitch Eric?
30. "Soccer Mom" or "Military Dad?" Military Dad
31. Saddam Hussain or Osama bin Laden? CARRIE BIN LADEN
32. Pro-Choice or Pro-Jesus? pro-choice
33. Tobacco or alcohol? tobacco
I deleted number 34 on purpose
35. The Pope: outdated fossil or senile embarrassment? I <3 the Pope. I do. No, really.
36. Rich powermonger or famous halfwit? rich powermonger

In The Last 24 Hrs Have You:
37. Called a live talk show for the purpose of saying "Howard Stern?" no.
38. Uttered a racial slur? no
39. Molested a child? no
40. Molested an adult who was dressed as a child? no. Oh wait...no.
41. Gotten an abortion? no
42. Assaulted a homosexual? my friend, The Priest They Called Him
43. Mugged a senior citizen? no
44. Done an unflattering impression of someone from another culture? in the last 24 hours? no.
45. Hired a prostitute? no
46. Sold a baby on the black market? no
47. Stolen items from your job? I am one unemployed bitch.
48. Used a vacuum, hamster or electric toothbrush in a manner not intended? no

If You Could, Would You?:
49. Give yourself oral sex? no
50. Give ME oral sex? did Blotto write this quiz, Carrie?
51. Exterminate an entire culture? Headbangers
52. Get away with murder? yes
53. Marry someone old and rich solely for the inheritance potential? yes
54. Become a cop if you could indulge in risk-free brutality? YES
55. Attend a public execution? yes
56. Assassinate a world leader to impress a movie star? yes
57. Kill for Jesus? CLUB A GAY BABY HARP SEAL FOR JEBUS
58. Have sex with someone you didn't respect for anything other than their good looks? already have

Do You:
59. Dislike a specific culture for irrational reasons? Wiccans
60. Like to watch old people as they have intercourse? no
61. Enjoy exposing yourself to children? I hate kids
62. Take things that don't belong to you? no, except at a job
63. Lie compulsively to impress strangers with a life you wish don't actually lead? no
64. Masturbate while watching people out your window? I sleep in a closet. It has no windows.
65. Masturbate while peeking into someone else's window? no
66. Complete online surveys for fun, or for vanity? boredom
67. Glorify suicide as artistic expression? yes
68. Laugh when overhearing a couple's heated argument? you betcha. I saw a deaf couple fighting once, in sign language. I laughed for days.
69. I STAB YOUR FACE!

Comments

Re: oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

My "minions" act as they see fit, not as I direct.

all well and good. however, when it is on your behalf, they represent you.

Oh I'm no appologizing to you, nor would I imagine you would ever accept one - you seem more content to fight in general. I'm just seeing no point in fighting over this, nothing's going to get solved, and the topic is just pointless anyway.

i am content, regardless. i am unsatisfied with your attempt to appear adult and mature after how you began. it's a nice switch, but it doesn't change how you acted before, and it doesn't change the fact that you garbaged up my journal after being asked to cease and desist. it doesn't change the fact that you've been casing journals. it doesn't change the fact that you insulted my friends within my journal. attempting to appear adult now is laughable. however, if you did see fit to apologize, i would see fit to accept it and continue ignoring you, content that you had at least attempted to make repairations.

Blackwing (you know her as my "Goon Squad" or my "Minions") has her own agenda and I'll not step on it.

i hope she takes care to insure that her agenda does not get her in trouble at work. you should be careful of who acts for your causes, whether you advise it, okay it, or not.

Re: oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad.

[vanilla-christ.livejournal.com]

i am unsatisfied with your attempt to appear adult and mature after how you began

Well then I suppose you're just going to have to learn how to live with your discouragement, and hope to live a long and beneficial life in the wake of my devestation. I just didn't want much more to do with you and this childish fight, the more you talk the more I feel as though you're from some other planet, and I don't wish to deal with insecure bullies such as yourself. You seem to enjoy inciting trouble and fighting the schoolyard fight from the comfortable anonymity of your internet persona, throwing out such witty retorts as "oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad," so I'll leave you to it, I have more important things to fight about with people far more detrimental to my life than yourself.

So now you should just get in the last word, high-five all your internet frat-buddies, and drown in your persecution complex. I'll do my best to bear the weight of your disapproval on my shoulders.

Re: oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad.

[verminefasciste.livejournal.com]

Well then I suppose you're just going to have to learn how to live with your discouragement

"unsatisfied", not "discouraged". read for comprehension.

I just didn't want much more to do with you and this childish fight

which is why you both helped to start it and won't shut the fuck up about it, of course.

and I don't wish to deal with insecure bullies such as yourself

you are incapable, regardless of how you truly feel.

You seem to enjoy inciting trouble

which is why you came to me. repeatedly. just so we have this straight.

the comfortable anonymity of your internet persona

my name is carrie lynne rasper, & i live in oak creek, wisconsin. let's rumble, rico.

oh, look, it's the 'tardsquad

although hardly prose, it's far superior to "you suck too".

So now you should just get in the last word

because if i don't, you "win", and if i do, you knew so, and you "win".
you are fucking retarded.

and drown in your persecution complex

your straw-man thanks you for playing, jigaboo.