dumb, dumb, dumb

[thejunipertree]

This is one of the stupidest quizzes I've ever taken. And I don't even know why I filled it out. Yay, ennui.



Have You Ever:
1. Been raped in prison? no
2. Been Molested by a close relative? no
3. Been molested by a priest? no
4. Worn your partner's underwear to work? no
5. Considered self-amputation of a limb? yes
6. Put any non-human living thing into your rectum? no
7. Had sex with someone for money? no
8. Enjoyed "Crack," "Bodybag," or "Ice"? I enjoy crack on a dailly basis
9. Bought liquor for someone profoundly under-age? yes
10: Taken advantage of above person after they were drunk? yes
11. Flown an airplane into a commercial building? don't piss me off, or I'll fly a plane into your house BITCH
12. Killed a baby? no, but you can be goddamn sure that if I ever were to get sperm poisoned, the damn thing would never see the light of day

Favorites:
13. Racial slur: moon cricket, because I can't figure out where it came from
14. Religious war: the Crusades
15. Act of genocide? my war on the ants
16. Evil fanatical despot? Idi Amin
17. "Friends" cast member? no
18. Animal to be killed by? SHARKS
19: Hideously-deforming disease? leperosy
20. Designer drug? E
21. "White Power" musical band? the People Haters (they do "Nazi Ska" which is one of the funniest fucking songs I've ever heard. Nazis. Doing Ska music? C'mon! It's FUNNY.
22. Murder Weapon? cyanide
23. Insanely-rich industrial CEO? Jebus
24. Unnatural sexual act? furries

Either/Or:
25. Electric chair or lethal injection? lethal injection
26. Nazis or KKK? the Nazis had better fashion sense
27. Rape or murder? murder
28. Kittens or puppies? kittens
29. "Beetlejuice" or "High-Pitch Eric?" Beetlejuice. What's a High-Pitch Eric?
30. "Soccer Mom" or "Military Dad?" Military Dad
31. Saddam Hussain or Osama bin Laden? CARRIE BIN LADEN
32. Pro-Choice or Pro-Jesus? pro-choice
33. Tobacco or alcohol? tobacco
I deleted number 34 on purpose
35. The Pope: outdated fossil or senile embarrassment? I <3 the Pope. I do. No, really.
36. Rich powermonger or famous halfwit? rich powermonger

In The Last 24 Hrs Have You:
37. Called a live talk show for the purpose of saying "Howard Stern?" no.
38. Uttered a racial slur? no
39. Molested a child? no
40. Molested an adult who was dressed as a child? no. Oh wait...no.
41. Gotten an abortion? no
42. Assaulted a homosexual? my friend, The Priest They Called Him
43. Mugged a senior citizen? no
44. Done an unflattering impression of someone from another culture? in the last 24 hours? no.
45. Hired a prostitute? no
46. Sold a baby on the black market? no
47. Stolen items from your job? I am one unemployed bitch.
48. Used a vacuum, hamster or electric toothbrush in a manner not intended? no

If You Could, Would You?:
49. Give yourself oral sex? no
50. Give ME oral sex? did Blotto write this quiz, Carrie?
51. Exterminate an entire culture? Headbangers
52. Get away with murder? yes
53. Marry someone old and rich solely for the inheritance potential? yes
54. Become a cop if you could indulge in risk-free brutality? YES
55. Attend a public execution? yes
56. Assassinate a world leader to impress a movie star? yes
57. Kill for Jesus? CLUB A GAY BABY HARP SEAL FOR JEBUS
58. Have sex with someone you didn't respect for anything other than their good looks? already have

Do You:
59. Dislike a specific culture for irrational reasons? Wiccans
60. Like to watch old people as they have intercourse? no
61. Enjoy exposing yourself to children? I hate kids
62. Take things that don't belong to you? no, except at a job
63. Lie compulsively to impress strangers with a life you wish don't actually lead? no
64. Masturbate while watching people out your window? I sleep in a closet. It has no windows.
65. Masturbate while peeking into someone else's window? no
66. Complete online surveys for fun, or for vanity? boredom
67. Glorify suicide as artistic expression? yes
68. Laugh when overhearing a couple's heated argument? you betcha. I saw a deaf couple fighting once, in sign language. I laughed for days.
69. I STAB YOUR FACE!

Comments

[vanilla-christ.livejournal.com]

If you'd actually read the subtext, you would know it wasn't designed to be a "real" survey, as much as it was designed to be a direct parody of all those other churlish high-schooly surveys that wander aimlesly about the internet. It was a stand-alone joke, didn't really require being filled out... though I knew that eventually it would be circulated and filled out anyway.

So, regardless of whether or not you feel it was designed to be non-PC for it's own sake, and as stupid as you may see it, YOU filled it out and posted the response... so that kind of makes you part of the joke, doesn't it?

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

If you'd actually read the subtext, you would know it wasn't designed to be a "real" survey, as much as it was designed to be a direct parody of all those other churlish high-schooly surveys that wander aimlesly about the internet.

If you'd actually read my reply on this matter, you would know that I hadn't the faintest idea of any sort of disclaimer, ownership rights, or the proper usage of said survey.

I lifted it from Peet, who had no notice of any such thing. He lifted it from Carrie, who snipped everything out. God bless her Punk Rawk soul. I had no clue that it even /involved/ this sort of thing or even where it originated until your lovely little friend, Blackwing, decided to come into my journal spouting shit.

So, regardless of whether or not you feel it was designed to be non-PC for it's own sake, and as stupid as you may see it, YOU filled it out and posted the response... so that kind of makes you part of the joke, doesn't it?

All surveys are stupid. It's just a fact of life. Doesn't change the fact that I will, out of boredom, fill one up to suck up time.

And yes, it /does/ make me part of the joke. I am very well aware of this fact. I'm a spooky twat, but I'm not an /ignorant/ spooky twat.

[vanilla-christ.livejournal.com]

That all sounds fair enough, and I never said you were a twat, I don't even know you, I'm sure you're a very nice girl.

Blackwing, however, IS lovely, she's a lovely livewire. She recognizes the survey as a form of essay (she's been reading my essays for over a decade now), rather than a straight-up survey. Kinda falls into that grey area where it could be taken as either, and no one would be sure if the credit would be like an authorship... as it could fall under category of essay as well as "dumb survey" (and realy, if it's a survey it really is dumb, I agree). She thought it was clever, laughed hysterically, and then saw that the piece went IMMEDIATELY to "just another dumb survey" mode, therein completely losing it's worth as being a parody, the message totally lost (or in one case, it's perceived as some trite "brainchild" of mine, designed with the purpose of sexually arousing me with others' responses... and I've no idea where this line of logic comes from).

Seems like a big waste of time in retrospect... how can I possibly make fun of surveys, when everyone who circulates it THINKS this is a real survey? I should have known better. I think I over-estimated my audience.

[meetzemonsta.livejournal.com]

That all sounds fair enough, and I never said you were a twat, I don't even know you, I'm sure you're a very nice girl.

No, you did not. And I didn't mean to imply that you had.
Blackwing, however, did.

Seems like a big waste of time in retrospect... how can I possibly make fun of surveys, when everyone who circulates it THINKS this is a real survey? I should have known better. I think I over-estimated my audience.

'Whisper down the lane'.
Meaning, intent, and content all can become distorted when passed through
more than two people.

Not only that, but when something looks and talks and walks like a duck, people who have experience with prior ducks are going to call said something a duck.

Four hours of sleep gives you duck analogies.
/That/ is my brainchild.